Show and tell at school about birthing a baby

One day, a little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her show and tell turn at school and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She held up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

Erica stood there with her hands on the pillow. The kids watched her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom started saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica put a hand behind her back and groaned. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Erica did a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Erica laid down with her back against the wall.

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" Erica spread her legs with her little hands miming water flowing away.

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.