I've told you about The Tongue, but Sneezy also has an affectation, and I finally remembered where I'd seen it before, and what it was called, so I am hereby plonking it here: wacky url
. Oh, well, he doesn't cross his eyes, but the mouth looks quite a bit like this:
Yep, it's what's called a Gookie
Whenever Sneezy is deep, deep, deep in thought, or waiting for an answer after some discussion where we're all deep, deep, deep in thought, the Gookie appears.
Ringside Seat to a Small Disagreement
Data loading is going on more or less swimmingly but there are always snags. It is actually rather close to being finished (at least on a historical basis; current week stuff comes in every week and is reviewed by Da Kid or Incredibly Nice's replacement - IN still works for the company, but is off on something else - Downstairs All-Star). But there are problems because, well, there are always problems.
The Tongue's main job is to review problem stuff and help to get it to work, whether it's to get to the nugget of the problem or obtain new data files or whatever. And there were four files in question. They'd been loaded, then backed out, then reloaded. And they passed inspection every single time.
But now suddenly they don't pass again.
File #1 did not pass. Then a day or two later, files #3 and #4 didn't, either. #2 remained fine.
So what did The Tongue do? The Tongue's email said: File #1 has no problems. Files #3 and #4 now have problems
For those of us on Planet Earth who understand language, that means that suddenly File #1 is fine. That's what I thought. That's what The Duck thought.
There was an unwritten word.
That word was other
As in, File #1 has no other problems. Files #3 and #4 now have problems
Well, that's a whole other kettle o' wax, or ball o' fish, now, i'n't it?
The Duck and I kept asking, is File #1 okay? We kept getting conflicting answers.
The Duck finally asked The Tongue to go line by line on File #1 and tell us, one way or the other, whether it had problems.
The Tongue blew up, and muttered something about having done this already and why the hell weren't we reading The Tongue's emails
The Duck answered back, "I don't do this to make your life miserable. I just want to know what's going on." The is because The Duck has to deal with the users. I totally get this.
The Tongue comes back later, and it becomes clear that the word other
somehow never made it to the original email. No apology, of course, but that part was pretty freakin' obvious, or at least it should have been.
I told The Tongue that we can't read an unwritten predicate in a sentence, and if there is information, it needs to be put into writing so that we can reference it and understand it.
And so it goes.
Constant Caller has had a coworker for a few months now, but I haven't had much occasion to discuss this person, as they are nice and patient and we get along rather well. Chirpy refers less to this person's demeanor than to the tone of their voice. Chirpy always seems to be on, even though they are in Chicago, and so it's an hour earlier there and usually they're all just tired when we talk on the phone. Dunno if I'll ever actually meet Chirpy in the flesh; I think when Constant Caller was here, the company sowed that ground with salt. But hope springs eternal. If Chirpy comes here, I'm sure we'll run off to have snacks and diet sodas and gossip about Constant Caller.
Extra! Extra! Read All About it! Data Loader in a Miracle Cure! Extra!
Points to anyone who knows what that lyric is from. Obviously, the profession referenced in the original is not Data Loader.
Anyway -- after my lil appearance, Incredibly Nice called and said: You need to be marketed
IN also suggested submitting my tale to the company newsletter. I said, well, I won't but if you do it I won't mind. I think IN forgot about this.
I just so happened to go over to human resources as they were starting this walking challenge so I needed to pick up my official pedometer. They have all seen my clip, as has, I believe, 90% of my office. I oh so casually mentioned that IN would be submitting my story to the newsletter people. The HR gal offered to follow up. I ended up writing my own copy for it. And, last week, sure enough, in the newsletter I was (I sound like Yoda).
This is when JJ came over, looked me up and down and said, "You have lost a lot of weight."
Then Sneezy did something similar.
Then Red, the dude who handles the company website (he sits on the other side of the partition from me, so I can hear but not see him), said something similar.
And then two of the Help Desk people did (they had come over to fix something on The Tongue's computer).
The Bulb told me I'm whittling down to nothing.
And then I realized, despite the self-promotion on the newsletter, the original source of the link going out to pretty much everyone was staring me in the face: The Light Bulb.
Now I have people who I don't really know asking me what I eat from breakfast. Three people have told me they're starting alli.
Ai yi yi, I suppose I really should
be marketed at some point.