That's ridiculous. Everyone knows where babies come from. It's from having sex (unless you stand on your head, of course.*)
well.. shes right
you ever tried to have sex like that?
Does sex during handstands count?
THAT happens, I can assure you.
BBB came boogieing into the room, tossing pepper-coated cashew nuts right and left. Then she tripped over Eva's bunny slippers and flopped to the floor.
%%## &&^%%$& $^%%$^^#!!!!!!
THOSE WEREN'T GODDAM SLIPPERS!!!!
THAT WAS I!!!!
Limps off to have a drink.
What were you doing on the floor wearing Eva's bunny slippers? Were you trying to grab all of my cashews?
Will somebody help me up off the floor before I pee my pants?
I wasn't WEARING the ******* slipper, you wally....I WAS the ******* slipper.
Everybody over here! Hot buttered popcorn!!!
OKAY...First question: What was the biggest lie your mother ever told you?
It wasn't lies, so much, as awful attitudes.
Here's a thing...my mother wouldn't tell me about sex, so I remained totally ignorant for a long time.
I figured that babies must happen when you got married because god knew you were married and gave them to you (I knew they grew inside...I just didn't know how they got there...)
Now...my mother WOULD tell me that, if I got pregnant (though I didn't know how) I would be kicked out and would never be allowed to darken her door again.
This made me worry. I knew people got pregnant without being married...and it seemed to have something to do with what the letters to the advice columns in women's magazines called "being intimate" with a male.
I decided that, if you got very close to a boy, and spent lots of time with him, a busy god sometimes assumed you were married, and mistakenly gave you a baby.
As a lot of my friends were boys I was very nervous about this, since I didn't want to be thrown out of the family.
One day my mother and I had a big fight about unmarried pregnancy that went on for ages.
I knew it was all about god getting confused, and hence argued that it wasn't the girl's fault. My mother, who must have assumed I had found out about sex somewhere, was angrily denouncing the girls (NOT the boys you will note....grrrrrrrrr).
It is amazing how long you can argue about something without either of you discovering the reason for your disagreement.
Mind you, as soon as I did discover how one got pregnant, I was immediately much more tolerant than my mother, and would have had a similar argument anyway.