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Fri 30 May, 2008 08:26 pm
Roiters - May 30
Adenauer Jones had no clue, that for nearly four years, his next door neighbor was driving his Mustang to work, delivering pizzas. Cloinger Bradford awaits charges for fashioning a key out of a brass screw and using it to take Jones's car for his own. A police spokesman said he did not know what charges were to be filed.
Adenauer Jones told reporters he had awakened at twelve thirty, the night of May 28th, suffering from a stomach disorder. When he went in the bathroom to get an Alka Seltzer, he noticed headlights in the drive. He investigated and was startled to see Cloinger Bradford step out of the Mustang, lock it, then pocket the screw-key.
Jones then thought back to incidents from the past year that had, until that moment, made no sense. Radio buttons changed from The Gospel Hour to hiphop. The constant smell of cheese and peperoni, despite replacing the air freshener twice a week. Rear view mirror moved. Realizing what may be happening, he refrained from informing the police. Instead, he waited until the next evening, hid himself in the trunk of the Mustang, then waited.
No more than five minutes past his bed time, the car door opened. He rode with Bradford the entire evening, as the car whizzed in and out of traffic, making deliveries, picking up for more deliveries. Jones estimates his car travelled at least sixty or seventy miles that night. Then, the ingrate brought the car home, without even filling up the gas tank.
Adenauer Jones kicked at the lid and shouted at Cloinger Bradford to let him out of the trunk. He does not know for sure if Bradford heard his plea, since the bastard went straight home and apparently went to bed.
Around eight thirty in the morning, Jones's daughter came by and discovered her dad's plight. Shortly after, Jones phoned police.
Sure. If he's dumb enough to lock himself in the trunk, he's dumb enough not to know his car was being used every night for four years.
Now, the man who could make a key out of a brass screw is sort of amazing.
And all this time he thought he was just getting really bad gas mileage...
I used to be able to open and turn on my 72 catalina with any large house key..
granted.. it would take some real jiggling... but I could do it..
Roiters - May 31 - 9:25 AM -
The odd case of Cloinger Bradford stealing a car nights, then returning it before an unsuspecting neighbor awakened, has lead to an investigation revealing Bradford's other many strange habits. Among them, Bradford, age thirty five, trained a parrot to repeat the phrases, "I really like you;" "You're very sexy," and, "Tell me more about yourself." Plus, "Mm-hmm." He then tried, unsuccessfully to fool his girlfriend. After establishing in a phone conversation she was in the shower, he then left the parrot to carry on with her, while he travelled the quarter mile to her house to peek through a window. The unnamed girlfriend grew suspicious when the parrot heard an unfamiliar disturbance in the front yard and began squawking. She quickly dressed and went out of he house to drive herself to Bradford's home, intent on confronting him. But, she id not have to do that. She found a very red in the face EX boyfriend hiding in the bush near the bathroom window. She immediately dialled 911 with her cell phone and had Bradford arrested.
shewolfnm wrote:I used to be able to open and turn on my 72 catalina with any large house key..
granted.. it would take some real jiggling... but I could do it..
the jiggling is the part I would enjoy...
I am a 70's model myself.
the jiggling isnt cute anymore..
OMG - that is sooo funny! Both the stories about him! lol I want to read more! HA HA
I think Edgar is the new Reyn for posting the weirdest stories - lol
shewolfnm wrote:I am a 70's model myself.
the jiggling isnt cute anymore..
yeah but the 70's models are more comfortable to slip into....and give a nicer ride.... :wink:
BBB
The car's owner aint too bright.
BBB
Re: Man Takes Neighbor's Car to Work Nights, in Secret
edgarblythe wrote:[...] The constant smell of cheese and peperoni, despite replacing the air freshener twice a week. [...]
So, I guess it wasn't that "new car smell" then, huh?
funny ****. i give that man props.
Is this the same guy that had the woman living in his closet?
Roiters - June 6 - 11:00 AM
The story of Cloinger Bradford, versus Adenaur Jones, ended abruptly this morning, when Bradford bought a lucky scratch off ticket at a local liquor store. First, he bought four $5 Flintstone Mamas scratch offs. Just one paid back any money: $10. Bradford bought a ten dollar scratch off with his winnings. This lead to a $5 winner. So, he bought another Flintstone Mamas. Bingo! Cloinger Bradford hit the jackpot: $50,000. The lucky pizza delivery man wasted no time contacting Adenauer Jones and offering an undisclosed amount to have all charges against himself dropped. Jones clapped Bradford on the shoulder and smiled. "Mr. You have got yourself a deal," he said.
Bradford told this reporter he would take time off from his job to court an old girlfriend. He said he had gotten rid of his parrot and now would deal with her honestly. Asked if he thought the girl would see him, he replied, "I'm not certain if she's lifted the restraining order."
Roiters - June 7 - 11:00 AM
Adenauer Jones met with a big surprise when he walked to his neighbor's house this morning. He was seeking to follow up on his settlement deal with Cloinger Bradford, the man who allegedly would borrow Jones's car nights when Jones lay sleeping. He was met by the door by a ferocious black mongrel of a dog, narrowly missed getting bitten. Only the shortness of the animal's tether saved him. Unnerved, Jones retreated to his own house. His first thought was to call the police, but instead Jones decided to give the man time to move the dog, or at least phone him to further the arrangement another way. He waited in vain.
In fact, a coworker of Bradford's came a few hours later, to learn if he was sick, since he had never been late in three years with the company. She got the police over there. After the dog got lead away, it was discovered Cloinger Bradford was not at the house, having apparently fled.
Adenauer Jones feels he has been had, and is currently seeking to have charges against Bradford reinstated.
Can't decide if the screen play should be a comedy, mystery or a tragedy.
My GOSH! The twists and turns...
Searching for updates. None to be found.
squinney wrote:Can't decide if the screen play should be a comedy, mystery or a tragedy.
My GOSH! The twists and turns...
I'm with you on this - should be a Movie of the Week, at least. I think it's all three! lol
Roiters - June 17 - 2008
A Cloinger Bradford sighting at last! A man purported to be Bradford was thrown bodily from a moving truck, near the town of Pleak. The eighteen wheeler was moving slowly, and the victim suffered only minor injuries. Police picked him up, because he smelled of alcohol and was wearing just underwear. After being treated for abrasions, he was taken to the city jail.
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