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Dog diry vs Cat diary hilarious!

 
 
OGIONIK
 
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 03:27 pm
http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/Humor/otherhumor/dog_cat_diary.htm

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,697 • Replies: 8
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OGIONIK
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 03:29 pm
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. that one line is the shizzzzzle
0 Replies
 
Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 04:41 pm
It's deja vu all over again!

http://www.able2know.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=94423&sid=cf37cf9b93d8fd0a9c803791fbf49739
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 04:44 pm
This all reminds me of the doggie haiku thing that was going around. I thought it was hilarious..
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OGIONIK
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 05:10 pm
i shulda figured it was here already!

i love it how the cat diary starts, "day 983 of my captivity.."
0 Replies
 
Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 05:17 pm
I love the whole thing. Enjoyed seeing it again.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 05:34 pm
This one's more about cats, nicely done -

http://photodude.com/2003/06/20/cat-haiku-dog-haiku
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Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 10:38 pm
ossobuco wrote:
This one's more about cats, nicely done -

http://photodude.com/2003/06/20/cat-haiku-dog-haiku



Thanks, osso. I needed that.
0 Replies
 
Amigo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2008 10:41 pm
Laughing Laughing Laughing

Thats a good one OGIONIK
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