Some Nutjob Kicked Me Out Of A Bagel Store

Gargamel wrote:

It what resemble does.

Ladies and gentlemen, your moment of Zen.

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Ohmygosh! The same sort of thing happened to me the other day!

Mr. B and I were sitting around lamenting the fact that you could get every kind of pizza around here but real Chicago style. We were trying to tell Mo what Chicago style was all about.

"Field trip" cried Mr. B "honey get Jack (our pilot) on the phone and have him get the jet ready. We're going to Chicago for dinner so Mo can see what Chicago style pizza is!!"

The car service took forever to get here. Thank god we don't have to fly commercial fercryingoutloud. How do people do that? Really? I'm serious!

So by the time we get to Chicago and get a car to the pizzeria they are getting ready to close. What!? So not funny.

"Don't you know who we are?"

Well of course they did! Haha, who wouldn't.

The pizza was great but the wine was only so-so so we stiffed the waiter on the tip since he had recommended it. What an ass.

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you really are too kind, boomer. You should have the waiter shot next time. Who does he think he is?!

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The hell of it is, Ill bet that Primitive one didnt learn a damn thing other than that a bunch of a**holes on a PBB disagree with him .
Heres what I woulda done.

.
I woulda said to the waiter when he returened with my F toast and then told me that they dont bring out the maple syrup unless the customer asks for it.

"AND WHen was I supposed to do that skippy?" Can you read my F***in mind there Kresgin? Now get your ass back in the damn kitchen and conjure up a bottle of maple syrup unless you wanna be wearing this crap all over your dress whites"
"Im FrOM NEWYAWK , and we are superior beings ,pizzaface"

That way everybody wins.

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http://www.albany.edu/writers-inst/graphics/five_easy_pieces_restaurant.jpg

Quote:

All four are seated at a booth. The women have
given their orders and a WAITRESS stands above
Bobby (jack nicholson), waiting for his:

BOBBY
(looking at his menu)
I'll have an omelette, no potatoes.
Give me tomatoes instead, and wheat
toast instead of rolls.

The waitress indicates something on the menu with
the butt of her pencil.

WAITRESS
No substitutions.

BOBBY
What does that mean? You don't have
any tomatoes?

WAITRESS
(annoyed)
No. We have tomatoes.

BOBBY
But I can't have any. Is that what
you mean?

WAITRESS
Only what's on the menu...
(again, indicating with
her pencil)
A Number Two: Plain omelette. It
comes with cottage fries and rolls.

BOBBY
I know what it comes with, but
that's not what I want.

WAITRESS
I'll come back when you've made up
your mind...

She starts to move away and Bobby detains her.

BOBBY
Wait, I've made up my mind. I want
a plain omelette, forget the
tomatoes, don't put potatoes on the
plate, and give me a side of wheat
toast and a cup of coffee.

WAITRESS
I'm sorry, we don't have side
orders of toast. I can give you an
English muffin or a coffee roll.

BOBBY
What do you mean, you don't have
side orders of toast? You make
sandwiches, don't you?

WAITRESS
Would you like to talk to the
manager?

PALM
Hey, mack!

BOBBY
(to Palm)
Shut up.
(to the waitress)
You have bread, don't you, and a
toaster of some kind?

WAITRESS
I don't make the rules.

BOBBY
Okay, I'll make it as easy for you
as I can. Give me an omelette,
plain, and a chicken salad sandwich
on wheat toast -- no butter, no
mayonnaise, no lettuce -- and a cup
of coffee.

She begins writing down his order, repeating it
sarcastically:

WAITRESS
One Number Two, and a chicken sal
san -- hold the butter, the mayo,
the lettuce -- and a cup of
coffee... Anything else?

BOBBY
Now all you have to do is hold the
chicken, bring me the toast, charge
me for the sandwich, and you
haven't broken any rules.

WAITRESS
(challenging him)
You want me to hold the chicken.

BOBBY
Yeah. I want you to hold it between
your knees.

The other three laugh, and the waitress points to a
"Right to Refuse" sign above the counter.

WAITRESS
You see that sign, sir?!

Bobby glances over at it, then back to her.

WAITRESS (CONT'D)
You'll all have to leave, I'm not
taking any more of your smartness
and your sarcasm!

He smiles politely at her, then:

BOBBY
You see this sign?

He reaches his arm out and "clears" the table for
her.

from Five Easy Pieces (1970)

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

You were a complete dick. Didn't have to read past "aren't we missing something?" to figure that out.

Sure, you didn't have to read past that, but just look what you'd be missing:

Primotivo wrote:

Me: um.... I got Freedom toast

Ho ho! Witty!

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Provocateur, and pretty good at it.

Never did see Five Easy Pieces. Time to rearrange my netflix queue.

Reminds me of a movie with Elaine May's daughter, whose name I'll recognize when I see it, and Charles Groder and an egg salad sandwich. No, not the ordering dialog, but my own never wanting to even see an egg salad sandwich again.

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walking home from the gym tonight.... I notice a woman and a man standing on the sidewalk, he ramaging through his bag. She, smoking a cigarette, steps up to me:

"Where's Pearl Street?" exhaling the smoke into my face...

me stepping back, raising eyebrows: "I beg your pardon?"

"Pearl Street... which way?"

me, annoyed at this point
"It's to the right, just passed the Central Square..."

She, taking a drag, turning her back to me, mumbling:
"That's what I thought..."

Me, still standing there, dumbfounded....

"You're...you're welcome..."

walking away, wishing i had kicked her in the shin instead..... sucks to be polite when you're faced with a primitivo.... but I won't go changing myself now. Karma and all.

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cyphercat wrote:

Primotivo wrote:
Me: um.... I got Freedom toast

Ho ho! Witty!

oh yeah, Freedom Toast, that was so funny I forgot to laugh.

That reminds me of this guy I interviewed once. What a twerp.

I noticied he had put on his application under the "in case of emergency" section his doctors name.

I already knew this was going to be a courtesy interview, so I was just giving him a few minutes of my time, so he could walk away with at least some dignity.

He pointed out to me what he had put under emergency contact...

Him: I put my doctors name down.

Me: Yes, that's fine.

Him: Because if I was having an emergency while working, I'd want someone to call my doctor.

Me: Ok....so, tell me, on your last job...

Him: I put my doctors name because if I got hurt, I wouldn't want my friend, or even my mother called. I'd want my doctor to know I was hurt.

Me: Neutral

......

Him: See, that's a joke... no one thinks to put their doctor done...Doing that is really funny.

Me: Neutral

.....

......

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Re: Some Nutjob Kicked Me Out Of A Bagel Store

Primotivo wrote:

Me: um.... I got Freedom toast

twinkle toes calls it freedom toast

Laughing

You have g strings on under there too sweetie?

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WTF kind of drugs you one girl?

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twinkle twinkle little chai..

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How I wonder what you smoked....

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up above the world so high

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Why do people get on my case because I just want some fugging syrup on my freedom toast?! Jeez Luiz! It's like I committed one of the seven deadly sins or something!

BTW....it should be noted that I am usually very polite when I order and always tip well if I ever plan on returning to a restaurant because I don't want anyone to spit in my food. fugging waiters always get so bitter about the lamest crap...dang! Mad

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poor kid,
freedom toast doesnt taste the same by itself does it sweetie? Wink

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We react to the belligerence we see in your posts here, primativo. I don't remember any polite ones, but I could do a search.

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perhaps you are always polite, primotivo...we have no way of knowing if you are or are not. but in the case you described you were just plain rude. end of story.

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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CqRAwzcQrpE

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Some Nutjob Kicked Me Out Of A Bagel Store

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