The Cautionary Tale Game

[b]don't eat the yellow snow![/b]

to the best of my recollection, i never actually ate the yellow snow.
this priceless nugget came from my elementary school gym teacher, who's name has unfortunately vanished into the ether...

When using aluminum chopsticks, don't leave them sitting in hot soup for too long.

A friend of mine took a trip to Korea and brought me back fancy aluminum chopsticks as a souvenir. They're really great--the clean so much more easily than wooden chopsticks--but boy, I learned the above lesson pretty early on.

Region Philbis wrote:

[b]don't eat the yellow snow![/b]

to the best of my recollection, i never actually ate the yellow snow.
this priceless nugget came from my elementary school gym teacher, who's name has unfortunately vanished into the ether...

What a hoot. I like the explanation that follows too.

So here's an explanation for mine...

Don't step in dog doo in high tread shoes.

Well, of course this happend a few days ago, just as I was about to walk to the Metro, as in public transportation. Was I preoccupied with smelling like doo? Yes, Indeed. I was able to drag the offended high tread New Balance shoe in a few puddles and along the grass, I stopped and extracted some of it with a stick, before descending into what very likely could have been Hell.

These treads have micro treads inside of the bigger treads. Fortunately, no one seemd to notice, as in the people who sat next to me did not get up and leave. Anyway, 2 days later I am still extracting with a stinkin' paper clip, much like a surgeon would remove plaque from the clogged artery. Said doo extraction is followed up by a Q-Tip dipped in sudsy perfumed water.

I'd say the process likens more closely to a root canal-- so far it's taken multiple visits and the operation is not yet completed.

Said offended sneaker/boot comes off my foot and is immediatly placed sideways on a newspaper in my domicile.

I am contemplating throwing the thing away.

That's hilarious. Not too long ago I went through something similar but not as bad. I stepped in dog doo the very first time I wore my new blue low-top, laceless Converse sneakers, which I had just purchased at Nordstrom for too much money. So I can definitely sympathize.
Your cautionary tale jogged my memory regarding something I haven't thought about in years. When I was in college, I was alone in the campus bookstore, and I picked up a little illustrated book entitled, "Misery Is," which was a parody of the Peanuts book, "Happiness Is." Each page had a different miserable experience that some kid was having. On one particular page there was a drawing of a carful of people. One of the passengers was a small boy looking miserable. The caption was, "Misery is when you're riding in a car and everybody smells dog doo and you discover it's on your shoes. " I started laughing hysterically and running around the store looking for someone I knew so that it would look like I was laughing with someone instead of by myself, like a nut. I found one of my housemates and really let it out. She asked me what was so funny, and I managed to say that I would tell her later. So never flip through a funny book when you're alone in a bookstore.

P.S. Your shoe was the "offending" (not "offended") high tread New Balance shoe. :wink:

When spraying a hidden hornets nest while on an extension ladder, have a back up plan.
along the same line........
never put an extension ladder on a hidden mole run.
"...i can fly.."

Even if you think a pile of leaves hasn't burned for three days, check, before you put gas on it.
along the same line.....
never put gas in a plastic charcoal starting fluid container.

Never think it's impossible to have a flood, during a drought, while riding a motorcycle.

Never buy skis you've never heard of, no matter how inexpensive.

I bought my first pair of skis at the Boston Ski Swap. They were brand
new, "overstocks". ALUGLAS 727s. I can't recall what I paid, but it
wasn't much.

I skied on them for about a year. Then one day I caught some air off a
mogul and -- in mid-air -- the binding detached from one ski. I mean
the damn screws just came right out. I did a face-plant and looked up to
see my liberated ski heading downhill fast. Luckily, the trail curved and
the ski went harmlessly into the woods without impaling anyone.

When walking from one place to another with a laptop (even in a case), CHECK THE WEATHER REPORT.

Some years ago I wrecked a computer because I got caught in the rain with my laptop. It was a perfectly sunny, mostly cloudless day--and then the floods came. Out of nowhere. I shielded the laptop case as best I could, but I was quite a ways from the nearest public building. By the time I ducked in somewhere, it was too late... the computer wouldn't even start.

Do not, under any circumstances, try at home any moves that you have learned while watching Kung Fu films (unless you, yourself, are a Kung Fu master).

'nuff said.