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Thu 29 Nov, 2007 03:43 pm
I admit, I am the Queen of Regifting. I don't like collecting things and accumulating stuff. I rarely buy myself anything, in fact, so others never know what to get me, understandably. Some gifts I get are not ME at all, so I do find another home for them. We had what we called "The Christmas Box" which was very useful when it came to office Christmas parties, etc. I don't usually regift the stuff my kids buy me, but for everyone else it's open season.
So, do you regift and if so, do you ever feel guilty about it?
I have a "Christmas Shelf"!
HOW I re-gift has a bigger impact on my guiltiness than whether I do at all. I've re-gifted things that were truly appreciated by the recipient and that I never would have used -- I think that's win-win. Once in a while I've just kind of grabbed something, then I feel guilty if it's too random. And I'm careful not to re-gift to the gift-giver or anyone the gift-giver knows, because I think it's rude to indicate that you don't like a gift (even if you don't).
I have things that have been sitting on the Christmas Shelf for a few years now, though -- if I don't think that anyone I know would genuinely like something, eventually I just get rid of it. (Anyone want some really quite nice placemats handmade by some African tribe?)
I never have. I usually try and return something I don't like and if I can't, I just keep it and stuff it away.
Someone went to the trouble to buy it for me so I feel like I should keep it.
I don't give so many gifts these days, not being around my batches of friends in the way I was, say, fifteen years ago. I've always been on the particular side re what gift for whom.. and have tended to buy through the year instead of mallshopping in the blear.
As I aged and got more idiosyncratic, I would buy used books or the odd thrift shop treasure, for, say, K... who collects exquisite old linens, or W, who likes adventure history. Well, my friends are odd too, y'know. I once gave a pal a Dior dress that fit her, from St. Joseph's thrift...
A cousin once gave me a terrific "old book" on Florence, by Mrs. Oliphant... so, it's a kind of trading, in my family.
The only re-gift I can immediately remember is that my niece's mother was from an african country, and she gave me two huge caftans one christmas. Huge, elephantine... even if I wanted to wear them, I would have tripped..
I gave them to my cousins, both much taller and one much much heavier than me. They were at least amused, or bemused.
I'm like you Mame, not big into stuff. I only keep things that I enjoy dusting. I inherited most of my household decor from a couple of eccentric rich aunts who died in the 1980's, and they did their collecting pre-1940.
People tend to give me things related to my profession and rarely do I need or want what I get. I have no trouble giving stuff away and I don't feel guilty, better someone else should enjoy it or find it yet another home. Although, I'm more likely to donate an unwanted thingy to a charity fund raiser rather than actually regifting it.
(laughs, thinking of those all-in-one-clipper things from a nephew...)
I think re-gifting is tacky and thoughtless in most cases.
If you know the receipant would really love something you received, but it is not your taste that is one thing. Or what I have done is give it some one else (not for Christmas/birthday or anything) and let them know I received this as a gift, but cannot use it, could you?
I once received a re-gift for a wedding gift. How did I know - when I opened the box there was a card in it wishing the new couple well - only probably we were not the couple. And here a few months prior, we attended their wedding and gave them a gift off their registry that they wanted.
Last year I got a gift from the yankee swap that isn't my taste. I was debating whether to use it this year in the swap. Normally I would just donate it to Good Will, but some co-workers thought it would be a hoot if I used it in the Yankee swap again (the gift that keeps on giving). If I do, I will include a gift certificate or something with it though.
Green Witch wrote:I inherited most of my household decor from a couple of eccentric rich aunts who died in the 1980's, and they did their collecting pre-1940.
How neat, GW. You must have quite an interesting and eclectic assortment. I'd love to see what they collected. I think my favourite period is 1920-1940.
Mame wrote:Green Witch wrote:I inherited most of my household decor from a couple of eccentric rich aunts who died in the 1980's, and they did their collecting pre-1940.
How neat, GW. You must have quite an interesting and eclectic assortment. I'd love to see what they collected. I think my favourite period is 1920-1940.
I really did get lucky, the both had lovely taste with a little serpendipity thrown in for interest. My favorite collection is my Aunt Julia's dishes. For years she collected botanical patterns- not from just one set, but numerous designs that matched in color or basic style. It's the only thing I've added to over the years. I just can't resist an antique cabbage majolica serving dish or a vintage cup shaped like a sunflower. Thank the gods for Ebay.
I have never re-gifted anything, but might reconsider as I pile up more
stuff I don't need than I have space for. It's just that some of the stuff
I got, I'd feel embarrassed about giving to others.
I've got a pie serving dish with cover (ceramic or something) that is designed as a strawberry... want it?
At my bridal shower I got stuff we wanted, stuff we didn't say we wanted but could use anyway, and stuff we did not want.
We kept the stuff from the first two groups. For the stuff in the third group, I returned for cash whatever I could and, of what I could not return, I regifted. It's been over 15 years and I don't regret doing that. I did not want a sandwich maker and I got three, two of which had no indications of where they had been bought. It was either leave them to dust or give them to someone else. We were not exactly made of money in those days and so having a ready-made gift for someone else's wedding was the only thing that made any economic sense.
jespah wrote:At my bridal shower I got stuff we wanted, stuff we didn't say we wanted but could use anyway, and stuff we did not want.
We kept the stuff from the first two groups. For the stuff in the third group, I returned for cash whatever I could and, of what I could not return, I regifted. It's been over 15 years and I don't regret doing that. I did not want a sandwich maker and I got three, two of which had no indications of where they had been bought. It was either leave them to dust or give them to someone else. We were not exactly made of money in those days and so having a ready-made gift for someone else's wedding was the only thing that made any economic sense.
Thus why you got 3 sandwich makers - they didn't want them so they gave them to you.
That is why I do not regift. I don't want that crap so why should some one else? Unless like I said I knew the person wanted that crap. If I couldn't return it - knew no one else wanted, I'd donate it.
Yup, have re-gifted in the past, and I don't feel guilty about it at all.
They were nice gifts. Just not for me.
<wondering what a sandwich maker is.....>
Picturing a guy, a loaf of bread, some packaged coldcuts, a jar of pickles..
I couldn't walk around my house if I didn't re-gift.
There are things people give me that just make no sense for me that make sense for others. Sometimes I'll hear someone saying they wish they had X, and my little brain remembers that there's an X in the 'not-for-me' stash and off it will go on the next birthday/gift-giving opportunity.
Years ago, a friend of mine who is a collectible plate collector gave me a special plate. Two little boys fishing. Hunh? I don't collect plates. I don't have two or one little boys. I think the whole idea of the plate is kitschy.
Another friend is a plate collector and has two little (at the time) boys.
Merry Christmas to you, plate-collecting-mother-of-two-boys. She loved it.
~~~
Those sandwich makers can be handy - if you think 'outside the box' (hate the phrase, but sometimes it applies). Three would make two good regifts though.
ossobuco wrote:<wondering what a sandwich maker is.....>
Picturing a guy, a loaf of bread, some packaged coldcuts, a jar of pickles..
If thats the case give me one - I could certainly use him in the morning to make the kids' lunches.
I have no problem with re-gifting, no guilt at all. Like others here, I do not want stuff but friends and family seem at a complete loss on what to get me (what's so hard about fine coffee, gourmet preserves or bookstore gift cards, I dunno).
I see a gift as a gift -- once given, and presumably given with no strings attached (or it isn't really a gift), then it's totally up to the giftee of what to do with it. Use it, stash it, or toss it. A gift that I can re-gift to someone who would appreciate it is a fine gift to me -- saves me time, effort and expense in my own gift-giving. And what could be a better gift than time and effort?
It works the other way, too -- I have no problems with someone re-gifting one of my gifts (as long as it doesn't come back to me).
(Although, on second thought, I wouldn't mind some of those gifts back, instead of the gizmos and tchatkes that are often given to me.)
Wine is probably the thing I re-gift most regularly.
hamburger's most often the (knowing) re-gifting recipient.
I've discovered 1 kind of wine I really like. The rest is a big old "ehh, no" for me.
What do people bring for dinners, parties? wine. Uh, thanks.
What do vendors send seasonally? wine. Uh, thanks.
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