Just Got Back From Doing Some A2K Holiday Shopping and ...

For Sozobe:

*gasp*

<gives Caribou a ginormous hug>

Thank you!

(I hope you get a real one soon, Soz!)

For Noddy:

Caribou--

You know the way to my heart--and I've been working on my December paperback list for Santa.

To: Jespah and Craven
From: Eva

A 50-ton shipment.

To Eva:

First, thanks for the memories.

Now:

These are not just smiling people. They are clients. See? They like everything you do.
Joe

PS: to Intrepid:
I want you to know that I am completely SO over Katie Holmes, except for that Federal Lawsuit I filed and the various smears I have gotten placed on the gossip pages of the Daily News.

Oh, and the stalking. But I've cut way back.

For OmSigDAVID:

To Hamburger:

You're welcome. I dream of one day really taking you to the Dominion Theatre. It'll be lovely no matter what is playing.

Swimpy--

The Dominion Theatre? It's a date.

To: Thomas



I couldn't find a shelf size replica, so I went ahead and got you the whole park. I just knew you would want it!

To: LionTamer X

(So we can find it next time Thomas visits)



It also comes with this...

To: Stuh

For his take over of the world

Joe, you are many things, but I never realized you are a prophet.

I spent several hours yesterday with some long-time clients who invited me to their company Thanksgiving dinner. They took me around and introduced me to everyone I didn't know, praising me effusively and giving me enormous credit for their company's success (which was only partly true, but who am I to argue with a client? ) It was the p.r. equivalent of a ticker tape parade. Just like your photo.

I absolutely LOVED the gift! Thank you SO MUCH!!!

(dancing on tiptoes)



Oh...one thing. Did you happen to notice that nobody in that photo was holding any money? (sigh)

I did too good a job. They've outgrown me. Wow, have they ever! They have an entire in-house department plus an office in China doing my job now. They're #5 worldwide in their field. My (former) client just received a Presidential award. I am very, very proud of them.

Eva:


I meant to send these along, sorry.
Plant ONE seed in your backyard. You can give the rest out to your friends.

By next June this is what you will have:





Joe(wait till they turn green on the underside before picking)nation

Wow, thanks!

(What happens if I plant more than one? Can't I just pass on some of the cash to my friends? :wink: )

Uh... this is like a fairy tale, dig? What happens in every fairy tale, every myth, every night-night story when the good little girl, or in this case, you, doesn't do exactly what the fairy godfather says? (Wait a minute, that makes me.... .) Let's just say - not good things. Something you would never expect to grow on trees would suddenly start growing on trees. In your case....

Hundreds of Grumpy Old Men, All of Them Related to You.



Joe(Other people get cats or frogs or dragons)Nation

Whenever I see a group of healthy young men like that, just sitting around, not doing anything constructive -- it makes me sick to my stomach.

When I was that age I was ALIVE! I chased women and drank whiskey. I went hang gliding and fought with bulls. I traversed canyons and rode rapids. I engaged in knife fights and watched the dirty alleys of dangerous cities flow with blood.

And these PUNKS, in the prime of their lives, just sit there and idly watch the world go by.

They don't deserve to breathe another breath of air. As far as I am concerned.... they are already dead.

I have it on good authority that they are recovering their breath from running with the bulls at Pamplona.


One of their colleagues, tired from a night of more than usually athletic sex, faltered during the run, and was gored to death. The man second from the left is concealing his friend's ear, taken as a trophy of his courage, which will join the display in the men's secret clubhouse, where they store their base jumping gear and their glider.


The next day, they took off for Everest.


You ought not to leap to such conclusions, Gus.

Forgive me. I misjudged the spirit of the elder.