Fri 15 Aug, 2003 08:34 pm
Every year on Halloween people start resurrecting cat myths to put the scare into little kids and older adults alike. We cats have tolerated this proliferation of 'myth-information' for many years andwe don't like it. I risk 'letting the cat out of the bag,' but I must dispel some illusions.
MYTH: Cats eyes shine at night because they are casting out the light they gather during the day.
FACT: Baloney. How can we gather daylight when our eyes are closed sleeping all day?
MYTH: When a cat's whiskers droop, rain is coming.
FACT: When a cat's whiskers droop, rain is here. The whiskers are wet.
MYTH: If you want to keep a cat from straying, put butter on its paws.
FACT: I won't stray because you won't be here to open the door. You will be in the hospital as a result of your attempt to butter my paws.
MYTH: If a cat sneezes near a bride on her wedding day she will have a happy marriage.
FACT: 4-in-5 marriages end in divorce. Not a lot of sneezing going on, huh? Maybe they ought to rewrite that one and make it 'coughs hairballs,' there's plenty of that going on.
MYTH: Stepping over a cat brings bad luck.
FACT: Actually, worse luck. It exposes your most vulnerable areas just in case you miss and step on us.
MYTH: Cats suck the breath from babies.
FACT: We don't 'suck the breath.' Cats enjoy baby breath as much as humans. If you had a choice between a baby's breath and the Big Owner's
breath, which would you choose?
MYTH: A cat sleeping with all four paws tucked under means cold weather ahead.
FACT: Don't be stupid. It means cold weather is already here!
MYTH: Cats always land on their feet.
FACT: So explain the bumps on my head.
MYTH: When moving to a new home, always put the cat through the window instead of the door, so that it will not leave.
FACT: Don't be dim. We'll just use the window for ingress and egress.
(See Royal Pane in CD4)
MYTH: To see a white cat on the road is lucky...
FACT: ...because you didn't hit it with your car.
MYTH: A cat has nine lives.
FACT: Well, okay, that one is true. I happen to have a can of it sitting right in front of me. Now, if I could only get someone to open it for me.
I asked Kitten Caboodle about this.
She said "Me? Ow!"
I guess the truth hurts.
sumac ~ thanks! That was awesome and SO true! Except for one addition.....
'I want you to pet me, but I'm going to plop down just out of hands reach'.....because I like the look on your face when you're frustrated'.
I want to post some more about my male cat Haiku pleasuring himself on my thigh when he thinks I am asleep in the middle of the night, but I already started this topic and it is probably dead. People would think I am nuts, but it has become a nightly occurrence (sp?). He stops immediately if I give any indication of being awake and aware. This is truly bizarre and new behavior from him. This morning it went on for so long that I found myself thinking "Aren't you done, yet?", which is a too human female response.