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Thu 14 Aug, 2003 08:01 am
I was once described by a court appointed psychologist as a person who "Does not rely on the opinion of others or care about their opinion of him". I have a copy of that report. It helped me win custody of my oldest son.
This psychologist is now an author and quit practicing a bunch of years ago and is now a personal friend of mine. I asked him exactly what he meant by that once and he replied that in laymans terms he meant "Doesn't give a ****, never did never will".
I have thought about that a lot lately, have received comments from squinney about the kind of person I am, and have decided that I really don't give a ****, not in the kind of way that makes me an eccentric or a lovable or annoying curmudgeonly type, but that I REALLY don't give a ****.
I run my own program. I desire friendship, love, courtesy, interaction with others, but if I don't get it, if I'm all alone...I REALLY DON'T GIVE A ****.
I wish no one any harm and like to do the right thing for the sake of good form, but there is no sentiment or warm feeling behind my good treatment of people, nor is there any meaness or hatred behind any bad treatment I might give someone, because when I treat people badly it's a reactive thing, not a pro active thing, if that makes sense.
I can point to times in my life that this has been both helpful and hurtful, and can point to the incidents in my life that started me down this course and that finished me in this mould.
It started as a defense mechanism and then became the person I am at some point.
My question is...who among you REALLY doesn't give a **** and is okay with it by this point in their lives?
I'm with you on this one. Cheers brother! It ain't the easy road, but it happens.
BPB wrote:It started as a defense mechanism and then became the person I am at some point.
I liked this line best--it says it all for me.
Dammit! I give a ****! Waaaaaah! Can't help it.....
it's okay dlowan...different strokes for different folks...rabbits are gentle creatures, that's why people like to pet them...so adorable so cute....welll...there is that Bugs guy, he's a little stinker.....
Generally I don't. That has gotten me into a bit of trouble over the years because a lot of the people I worked with DID and they saw a lot of my comments as insults even though they were never intended that way.
For me it is very situational..
I am quite metabolic these days, I **** a lot, but never give it away. That's just gross.
Seriously though, to me it is the idea of 'bite and hold' what is important to you, and screw the critics, that resonates. Most people are taken aback by such behaviour...and/or disarmed by it. Cultivation of a basic instinct to self-preservation is a worthy pursuit, IMO. 'Cultivation' being the move from the natural defence mechanism to the enlightenment that is 'not giving a ****.'
Although I am sympathetic to others, there's a certain detachment I've noticed in myself as I get older. I wouldn't call that not giving a ****, but I do see that it will all be one in a hundred years. I've got more of a "so what" mentality.
I wanna be Buuuuugs, I wannna be Buggggggs,,,,,
I find that the older I get, the less I care about others' opinions of me. That is not to say that I have reached the level of dontgiveashittedness as BPB.
As a younger person, I was very concerned about how I was perceived by others. Now I believe that I am comfortable enough within myself not to have other person's opinions of me have to matter. Of course I still desire the respect and admiration of people who matter to ME. The difference is, I am much more discriminating about which people matter to me!
Last Saturday, Nancy and I visited with some friends down at the Jersey shore -- a couple we get together with often.
I had met him about 35 years ago -- just after he returned from Vietnam.
He truly didn't give a **** about anything.
I, on the other hand, gave a **** about almost everything.
After we became friends, I quickly discovered that not giving a **** was a lot more fun than giving a **** a lot -- and I changed.
Now, I give a **** even less than he does.
We discussed this at length last Saturday -- using the expression "give a ****" and "don't give a ****" very, very often.
Can't tell you how happy I was when I saw this thread...
...not that I really give a ****.
f.
Frank Apisa- Sure you do- Your take on life has just been validated! :wink:
dlowan wrote:I wanna be Buuuuugs, I wannna be Buggggggs,,,,,
dlowan wants to change sex, but not clothes!
(and I don't give a **** if it's a digression)
she'll wanna change her clothes when she finds out she's got updoc on all of them . . .
Psychiatrist once told me that I cope - I think that's a way of saying that I put on an image that makes it look like I give a ****, but in reality - I don't!
One of half of me gives a **** and the other half doesn't. It depends on the day, time, person, situation.
I can watch a guy get the **** kicked out of him and say ... oh well, and at other times I can cry my eyes out because a mouse was caught in my mousetrap. And then I start mouse-pie and we're into some new ****.
I give a **** about myself and a few deserving humans, plus a lot of animals, but looking at the human race in general.... I don't give a ****. You might call me Chairman of the Board of the Misanthropic Society.
Have to take Setanta's bait first...
What's updoc?
Now that that's out of the way...
There are way too many levels to this. Do I give a **** about, say, the environment? Yes. Do I give on tiny little mouse poop about what the snooty republican church-goers down the block think about me and my commie-pinko-heathen ways? No. Do I give a **** about what my husband and daughter think of me? Yes.
:wink:
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