5
   

Living together, sleeping in different rooms

 
 
caribou
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Oct, 2007 07:11 pm
As I said, I think, in the tread that Soz posted, I don't think there is anything wrong about separate beds, rooms or even houses (like in my case, but then we aren't married either)

But now you mentioned the parents. Eek, I'd sorta forgotten...
My parents were firmly entrenched in the fifties mindset. Dinner on the table at 5 and the house looking nice for hubby.
Ugh, I think when I was about, I dunno, early teens?, my Mother started sleeping on the floor of my room. She didn't want to sleep with my Father any longer, but she didn't want anyone to know that she didn't sleep there anymore. I mean, anyone as in outside the family, of course.

I'm not even sure what all the thinking was behind it, can't say I asked, can't say how long it lasted. I'm thinking that when one of my brothers moved out, she finally moved into her own room.

Because of that 50's mindset, they never divorced. And now they are just used to being miserable.

But, even with that horror story, I still believe that some happy couples don't always need to sleep together, and some happy couples do need to sleep together. Whatever works. As long as everyone is happy. Happy is good.
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Oct, 2007 07:39 pm
When we remodeled, my hearts fondest wish came true.

2 LARGE bedrooms, with doors at 90 degree angles to each other. One room has 2 queen size beds in it, the other 1 king.

sometimes we're together in the king, sometimes in the 2 queens, sometimes in different bedrooms, with the doors open. I don't keep track of how often each of the combos happen.

When I was a teen, 2 (that I can remember) of my girlfriends had parents that slept in separate rooms. I was aware of it, since my friends would say things like..."I'll get that from my mom's room" or "let me see if my fathers upstairs in his room" To be honest, it took what seemed like forever for it to dawn on me "hey, they're in separate rooms"

With one of my friends I thought "well, her mom's such a bitch I wouldn't want to sleep with her anyway.", and with the other, I dunno, I remember asking my friend, and she just said they can't get comfortable in the same bed...snoring, tossing, etc. Never thought of it again.
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Tico
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Oct, 2007 07:58 pm
Over the course of our 26 year marriage, my husband and I sometimes slept in different rooms. The first time was probably due to an unresolved argument, and then it became common when one of us had a cold or something. Then we started doing it when one was going through a restless period. After that, it just became >shrug< a thing when one wanted more "space". Each of us accepted it, wasn't an issue.

The room arrangement was much like Chai described, so we'd even have those laconic but so important conversations from our separate rooms. Sometimes we made a game out of it -- retiring to the guest bedroom, but leaving an invitation under the other's pillow. :wink: Or a paper airplane note, through the open doors. Or a wadded paper note sent via slingshot ...

Very Happy Good times.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Oct, 2007 08:02 pm
Like that description, Tico. The cannon shot across the bow..
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caribou
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Oct, 2007 08:08 pm
Sounds so great.

Some day, if K and I can commit to one house, we are so having separate rooms available!

On our most recent vacation,
imagine tiny double bed, me sick and sniffly, and no where else for me to go sleep/sniffle.

NO ONE got much sleep, that just sucks.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Oct, 2007 06:07 am
Hubby and I usually share a king size bed, but if one of us is tossing and turning, has to get up at an unusually early hour, or is feeling sick, that person goes to the queen size bed in the guest room.

My parents started sleeping in separate rooms when I was in college. Dad was a restless sleeper who coughed loudly and snored. Mom had serious back problems and couldn't be jostled. We knew it had nothing to do with problems in their relationship. It just made sense for them.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Oct, 2007 06:13 am
I agree with the sniffle separation. Who wants to be in the same room with someone constantly bringing up germy mucus?

I sleep in a queen bed with Mr. P. On our vacation, we stopped at a number of places that had king beds, and that was a real pleasure. You are together, yet have a goodly amount of personal space.

Over the last few years, it seems to me that king and queen beds are the norm. Years ago, many couples slept in double beds, which, to me, is much too much "togetherness". I would be curious as to the percentage of people who buy double beds now.

For the young'uns. If you look at any movie in the fifties, you would KNOW that married couples slept in twin beds with a night table in between! Laughing
0 Replies
 
redpickle
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Oct, 2007 07:28 pm
One can get up and cross the room, can't one?
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CarolynFlorida
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Oct, 2007 03:51 pm
Sleeping Alone what a great idea
Sleeping alone a-h-h now when I was touring around in Newport RI ...
I saw lots of gorgeous mansions with a Mr suite and a Mrs suite and
it was totally how they did it at the turn of the century.
The Vanderbilt's and each child had a bedroom and bathroom

perfectly normal for them.

As for me I think I would just love it especially the 139 wait staff part...
I encourage a vacation in Newport RI to take the Mansion tour
for everyone.

A breathe of fresh air.
0 Replies
 
aeroz
 
  1  
Reply Wed 31 Oct, 2007 06:09 pm
Oh wow I just can't imagine sleeping alone. I've been sleeping together with my boyfriend for over a year now and still love it, as does he. Most of our sleep habits are compatible. He gets a little too warm but that is easily fixed by putting a fan on low by his side of the bed.

I love falling asleep while cuddling with him. When we both feel near to sleep we separate and roll over. Once I did fall asleep in his arms though.

Sigh *love* Smile
0 Replies
 
Nocturna
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 May, 2013 01:28 pm
I know this post is super old an all, but I want to explore sleeping in separate beds right now. My Husband needs a super firm bed because he has back issues and I personally can't stand it. It's like sleeping on the floor! Our guest room has a nice cushy memory foam bed that it nice and soft and I just love it. but he takes it personally that I don't want to sleep in the same bed as him. I don't understand why I have to suffer just to prove to him I love him. If anyone knows what I can tell him so we can both get to sleep at night I would greatly appreciate it.
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Mon 13 May, 2013 02:08 pm
@Nocturna,
Get twins and put them together.

There are also those beds where you can adjust each side from soft to firm but I really have not heard good reviews about them.
0 Replies
 
 

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