Did Craven de Kere kill a bear?

i asked if you wouldn't find it strange and puzzling. not if it would tick you off. i said it would tick ME off.

Well, where the hell are you going in such a hurry?

And I agree, it's not gas - if it were, there'd be passed out or dead bodies on the road behind your big harey butt.

Perhaps the bear was in unbearable pain, or despair...perhaps it bared its soul to Craven and said:


"All my life is dark and dreary, all my roads are sad and weary,
Please oh please just killl me deary" quoth the bear all damp and teary.
"Bear, oh bear" he said most cheerly, "though your roads seem sad and weary,
Though despair has cost you dearly, only think and ponder, really!
'Tis the midnight, dark and dour; come the dawn perchance that your
Spirits rise with morning sun? You'll frisk and scamper and have fun?
Quoth the Grizzly: "Nevermore!"

Mame wrote:

Well, where the hell are you going in such a hurry?

And I agree, it's not gas - if it were, there'd be passed out or dead bodies on the road behind your big harey butt.

HEY, THAT AVATAR WAS ADOPTED WHEN DA BUNNY DECIDED TO VISIT ME. RUNNING AS FAST AS SHE CAN ON HER LITTLE BUNNY LEGS HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD. (Still makes me a little teary-eyed when I see it.)

SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE BUNNY BUTT, BUNNY GAS, BUNNY WHATEVER, YOU TAKE IT UP WITH ME.

dlowan wrote:

Perhaps the bear was in unbearable pain, or despair...perhaps it bared its soul to Craven and said:


"All my life is dark and dreary, all my roads are sad and weary,
Please oh please just killl me deary" quoth the bear all damp and teary.
"Bear, oh bear" he said most cheerly, "though your roads seem sad and weary,
Though despair has cost you dearly, only think and ponder, really!
'Tis the midnight, dark and dour; come the dawn perchance that your
Spirits rise with morning sun? You'll frisk and scamper and have fun?
Quoth the Grizzly: "Nevermore!"

"Now look here, dear Bear" said Craven, "cease this suicidal craving,
Cease this dark and dreary raving (which my eardrums in is staving),
Or, dear Bear, farewell I'm waving, and my reason I am saving.
What you ask is not so easy, what you're wanting leaves me queasy,
Though you think it's easy-peasy, something done and over, breezy,
Should I strike to stay your pleading, such a sad life I'D be leading!"
Quoth the Craven: "Evermore!"

Poems for the ages, bunny.

Roberta wrote:

Mame wrote:

Well, where the hell are you going in such a hurry?

And I agree, it's not gas - if it were, there'd be passed out or dead bodies on the road behind your big harey butt.

HEY, THAT AVATAR WAS ADOPTED WHEN DA BUNNY DECIDED TO VISIT ME. RUNNING AS FAST AS SHE CAN ON HER LITTLE BUNNY LEGS HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD. (Still makes me a little teary-eyed when I see it.)

SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE BUNNY BUTT, BUNNY GAS, BUNNY WHATEVER, YOU TAKE IT UP WITH ME.

Swoons......

Well, TTH, since no one else will tell you the story, I will...

Back in 1902, when Craven's parents were poor dirt-farmers in Siberia, his mother used to moan while making straw pancakes, "Oh, I wish I had a bear coat to wear to keep me warm while this nasty wind blows through these mud bits on our terribly digusting little hut-thing. Or a bear rug on which to writhe while I think of new things to do with oats and potatoes. Or even a bear claw, after which to fashion donuts."

Year after year she'd moan and moan... and it didn't help that her name was Mona, because she soon got the nickname Wailing Mona (?!).

One year, when Craven turned 16 and was as horny as a rabbit (sorry, dlowan, well, not really), he decided to leave home and find his dang-blasted moaning mother a g-d bear so she would finally shut the hell up!

He struck out through the blethery winterlands, over fields of ice and snow, starving the whole while, eating nothing but oatmeal cakes and rabbit turds (oh yes, it was a sad, sad time), when one day, about 4 long months into this trek, he happened upon a freshly-bear-shat cave!

"Oh Yippee!" he moaned (too weak to actually talk), "a BEAR cave!"

(Episode 2 to come later)