ON LIFE'S WINDING ROAD

Well, someone suggested I start here-I guess its as good a place as any. The short version ?? Hmmm don't know if there is one but I'll try. I've got a book 3/4 written but I want answers now...maybe a timelined synapsis type of thing. *AND IF ANYONE..AFTER READING THIS TRUE ACCOUNT..CAN THINK OF ANY REMEDY OR ANYTHING TO AIDE THE SITUATION...PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

FUNNY HOW A POSITIVE (?) OUTCOME CAN BE SO DEFEATING. VOID OF ANY AWARENESS OF WHY -I'M STRONG AND REMAIN POSITIVE, I'M DIFFERENT THOUGH-I WOKE UP. TO LIFE AS IT REALLY IS-TO REALITY. ONE WHICH I REFUSED TO ACCEPT OR BELIEVE IN. MY PERCEPTIONS OF LIFE,PEOPLE,EVENTS WERE SO WRONG-I'VE STEPPED OUT OF MY SHIELDED FANTASYLAD OF SORTS. LIFE ISN'T AT ALL WHAT I'D EXPECTED IT TO BE BUT LEARNING AND SURVIVNG HAS LEFT ME A BETTER AWARENESS OF HOW TO PERCIEVE LIFE ON ITS WINDING ROAD.I ALWAYS OPTED FOR THE DEEPER MEANINGS AND TRUTHS WHEN IN REALITY "LIFE IS JUST A STAGE AND WE ARE MERELY PLAYERS." (This account is completely true and nightmarish and wrong.....READ ON.)

When I was 24, twelve tears ago, I left NY for AZ-truth is ,I went to rehab. I got straight there,met someone, and got pregnant. The nightmarish relationship went on for ten years. I did well, my daughter was well taken care of..but was it rigt to work three jobs,take care of a baby,pay all the bills, and be robbed,abused,and used. No, but it took seeing it begin to occur to my daughter to want to really leave. Those ten years were filled with fear,no real life now that I look back. Leaving was rejection and that wasn't flying. After moving ten times in four months,being hidden by the victims advocates, and being terrorized,tormented, destroyed and nearly killed-we were relocated. Back to NY-to my parents at 34,with a six year old. That was July 4,2001.
Her father when finally caught was given six years prison for aggravated domestic violence,child abuse and aggravated assualt.
I did ok-it was hard -my parents made sure of it. But I got a job for The Board Of Education in Sept and commuted five hours a day everyday.
I bought a car the end of May and was hoping to get my own place in the summer.
June 6,2002-Brooklyn Queens Day-I was taking my daughter to McDonalds-when I was pulled over for speeding-never in my life did I expect what was to come. And I will NEVER FORGET THE LOOK ON MY DAUGHTERS FACE OR THE FACT THAT I WOULDN'T SEE HER AGAIN FOR ALMOST A YEAR.

I knew something was wrong when the neighborhood cops were coming out of every direction-they said I was wanted on felony flight charges from Az. I tried to be brave as they took my daughter and cuffed me. I tried to be brave as they cuffed me to the outside of a cage for around eight hours. But I about lost it when they told me I was a "disgusting pig and thank god they saved my daughter" and instructed me I was on my way to Rickers Island awaiting extradition to Az. I mean ,it was a mistake so it would all be over soon-I thought. Time went on...Extraditions could take up to three months-I was begging my Dad to do something but there was nothing. He did however pay a lawyer 7,000.00 to do just that-nothing! My fear rose as I was chain ganged to some of the biggest ,scariest looking drug out women I ever saw. And when my partner told me "if you tug my arm again bitch-I'll kill you." I was about done. I started to cry-till some Hispanic girl slapped me real hard on the head and said."don't do that **** there-you got me?" Damn just the **** that happened at Rikers I could write a book on-some exs-a nasty STD from the disggusting utensild they held me down for nder the guise of gynochological exam. And for some reason during all the movement I didn't get any food or water for three days. Almost had a soda from Mr "swat" if I gave im info. too bad I had none. Lucky for me everytime I was gonna get killed or ? I was moved and I was basically ok during my three week stay at Rikers. I learned a lot. How to rob,steal,mame...survive. My days were filed with begging people for a toke except on comissary day-bit you had to eat and smoke it all or it would disappear. My Dad visited me once. His face and the little he told me about what they put me through was enough for me to release him from that ?obligation. I cried daily at/with my daughter-funny-you could cry on the phone but when you handed that reciever over-tears stopped or...you got what I got once-no one wants depressing bullshit and hell they'd take the phone if they wanted. I found jail to be sad. It was basically filled with 18n yr old prostitutes that were like the guards kids. No many to pay lawyers so they'd get a year for selling themsleves to survive. I met a few real criminals who at first,second ,third convo played innocent-I was so shocked and naive to it all. But I survived Rikers Island-an upper middle class white girl-teacher. PS-I still didn't know the charges cause Az wouldn't open the file till I go there. I looked foward to extradition and getting it over and done with.
I gotta take a break-I'll finish tommorow. Lets just say this didn't end till this June. And in the end....I didn't do a thing. However...the **** dont' stop. Till tomm.