Yesterday I was sitting on a sidewalk bench with my girlfriend, looking over a menu. We were deciding on take-out from a Japanese restaurant, as I was simultaneously contemplating whether to throw her in front of a moving bus, or simply a car.
Diagonally behind us was a convenience store. With a baby carriage sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, with a baby inside. Being watched by a boy who was four, maybe five years old. Except he was being a normal little kid, and wandering about, leaving the baby carriage sitting on the middle of the sidewalk, while the concerned mother was in the store doing her shopping.
This was on a busy main street. Actually, the name of the street was "Main St."
A woman sitting in a parked car told the older boy to take the carriage and walk it up the ramp to the door of the store, then another woman held the door open as they told the boy to bring the carriage inside to their mother.
When the mother came out, the woman in the car started semi-yelling at her. The mother started saying something back in broken English about how the older kid was watching the baby, then continued on her way. She actually brought the baby with her this time.
That got me thinking: when is it acceptable to jump in during situations like that? I personally could care less 90% of the time what people do(I usually cheer those on who yell & beat their kids in public, throwing dollars at them to continue the show), but even I knew you shouldn't leave a baby out on the sidewalk like that protected by another kid who didn't even know enough to stay with it. And what did yelling at the mother accomplish?
Re: People who shouldn't have goldfish, nevermind kids
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
Yesterday I was sitting on a sidewalk bench with my girlfriend, looking over a menu. We were deciding on take-out from a Japanese restaurant, as I was simultaneously contemplating whether to throw her in front of a moving bus, or simply a car.
IMO, always go for the bus. It's much more exciting. :wink:
Quote:
That got me thinking: when is it acceptable to jump in during situations like that? I personally could care less 90% of the time what people do(I usually cheer those on who yell & beat their kids in public, throwing dollars at them to continue the show), but even I knew you shouldn't leave a baby out on the sidewalk like that protected by another kid who didn't even know enough to stay with it. And what did yelling at the mother accomplish?
Yelling at the mnother provides a measure of public embarassment. She probably doesn't care though so in the end it solves nothing. Beating her senseless with the stroller would have been appropriate however.
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edgarblythe
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 08:42 am
You can sometimes catch these jerks and punish or embarrass them, but, in the long run, there will always be people this stupid. My first wife had that kind of dumb. One time, for instance, my tiny son was asleep in the back seat of the car. She wanted to leave him there, while we two went in a big store for ten minutes. After a pretty intense argument, we left, without getting out of the car at all. I think only a real tragedy can touch a person like that.
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OGIONIK
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 08:44 am
oh god i lol'd so hard, is appropraite, however! ok ok that was the funniest thing i read all day.
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boomerang
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 09:03 am
I think leaving kids unattended like that is a cultural thing.
I remember reading an interview with J. K. Rowling about how she would park her baby outside the coffee shop while she sat inside writing the Harry Potter books.
She caught a lot of flak for that but where she was living (Scotland? Portugal?) it was common.
I also remember an essay in Newsweek by a Japanese woman whose grade school son rode a train across Toyko, changing trains in the city proper, everyday to get to school - alone. She contrasted this to how in America people don't let their grade school kids walk a couple of blocks to school unattended.
In America you don't leave your kids unattended for a second.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 09:24 am
I'm guessing they were Chinese.
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littlek
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 09:57 am
That's an interesting question, Slappy. As for the incident: I agree with Boomer. It's cultural. Combined with common sensical, maybe. I think Americans have a bit of a paranoid bent, but terrible things do happen to our little ones, so.... We are still over protective, I think.
As for when to say something....? I dunno. I rarely speak up, but I do sometimes. I have a pretty good glare, which I use more often than words.
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dagmaraka
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:07 am
it must be cultural. i remember waiting for my mom outside shops when i was about 4 or 5. Until once when this guy stopped and asked me if I wanted some candy. Sure I did. Against all instructions, I went with him to his apartment, which was just above the shop. Fortunately, he really gave me candy and returned me to my mother, who was completely freaking out.
i walked alone to school (though it was only about 3-4 blocks) since I was 6. I was also to do small shopping since about that age maybe about once a week. None of it was in any way different from what others were doing.
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CalamityJane
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:25 am
I did the same as dagmar, went to school by myself at 6, went alone to
the little grocery store at the same age, or waited outside a store when
I was much younger than six.
Yes, it is cultural. A few years ago, a Swiss couple left their baby in the hotel sleeping when they went quickly out to feed their 2 year old one. A room maid discovered the child sleeping, called the manager who called the police and when the parents arrived, the father was taken into custody.
I am not sure why the mother wasn't but here is the entire article
Maybe a culture thing, but there are a lot of nut cases out there and we need to protect our kids, so I would have said something just to let her know that leaving her kids alone on the street is not cool, in hopes that she'll think twice before doing it again.
Just a few weeks ago I confronted a couple who left their 2 dogs in there truck on a hot day with the windows closed, while they went to do their groceries.
I sat in the parking lot for 15 minutes, keeping an eye on the dogs, until they finally came out. I even went inside and take to the manager in the grocery store to see if they could help me find the owners of the truck.
I was pretty pissed by the time they finally came out.
I speak up only when I fear for the well being of people or animals because I'm sure it's a bit embarrassing for the people who are neglecting their kids/animals to be confronted, which will, I hope, make them think twice before doing it again.
I'm looking at the culture thing, but they still need to know that leaving little kids alone on the street while shopping is not cool. Not these days anyway.
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dagmaraka
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:29 am
i wouldn't do it in the U.S. It is dangerous. I'd probably still do it at home though... though i don't have kids.
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CalamityJane
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:30 am
Well Montana, leaving dogs in a closed car on a hot day, is not cultural
at all, it's plain dumb.
I have seen that at the grocery parking lot too, and if the mangers
don't page the people over the loutspeaker, I call police. They fine the
owners on top of it.
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Montana
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:33 am
Yeah, I know. When I talked about the culture thing, I was refering to everyones post about it. I just threw in the dog story as an example to a reason why I would confront someone.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:34 am
How the hell does a six year old walking to school compare to a baby carriage on the sidewalk for 10 minutes by itself?
The kid watching the baby was probably four, maybe five, but he was just walking around while the carriage was sitting on a busy sidewalk for about 10 minutes by itself. If anyone were to grab the carriage the brother probably wouldn't have known what to do. No reason the mom couldn't have brought the carriage in the store with her.
If that's cool in some cultures, than maybe some countries truly hold more idiots than here. And that's pretty sad coming from the US.
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dagmaraka
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:36 am
nobody says it compares. we were just commenting on the cultural thing, i was anyway. i would never leave a kid in a baby carriage alone with a 4 year old.
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littlek
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:38 am
I do speak up with the hot car scenario.
Montana is serving as a perfect example of the the feelings I mentioned above. Even though the statistical likelihood that YOUR child will be abducted, we take extreme measures to make sure it'll never happen.
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CalamityJane
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:42 am
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
If that's cool in some cultures, than maybe some countries truly hold more idiots than here. And that's pretty sad coming from the US.
Not more idiots, but almost all industrialized countries in the world have a lower crime rate as the US. You actually can walk very freely in most of Europe without constantly looking over your shoulder and having to fear
being mugged or otherwise harmed.
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dagmaraka
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:45 am
...or wondering who on a bus or a subway might be carrying a gun.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:54 am
CJ, you should take a field trip to Baltimore, MD.
Holy f**k, I've seen some rough neighborhoods, but damn.
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Gargamel
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Sat 18 Aug, 2007 10:55 am
To really teach that mother a lesson, you should have taken the baby.
You know, kind of like when, growing up, you kicked a soccer ball onto a neighbor's lawn, and the curmudgeonly owner of that lawn confiscated the ball to show you what happens when you act irresponsibly.
So, in the baby situation, you would, like, snatch the baby and hold it above your head and taunt and say, "See what happens when you leave your child unattended?" Then drop it and run, of course.