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New Manager Factfile
As you may well have heard, Mike Gilyatt has been appointed the new manager of Globe Reserves. The team is sure to undergo major reconstruction under its new manager, so please be patient with Mike as he forms a side of his own. Please join me in wishing him the best in his new role.
Since Mike was only available in October and November last season, it strikes me that many players won't have met Mike, or will have forgotten who is because he barely made an impression at all. Below are many facts about Mike Gilyatt to help you get to know the man a bit better.
1. Predominantly a striker, he has also played in midfield.
2. He was Globe Reserves' top scorer last season with 12 goals.
3. Recent injury-ravaged seasons have seen the once promising Gilyatt suffer shin splints, hamstring problems, and medial knee ligament damage. The step into management surprised few, as his playing career moves into its twilight years.
4. He was once sent off for kicking a man while he was down.
5. He has been known by many nicknames including (but not limited to): Big Time, The Old Cat, Cocker, Prawns, C***, and Anna. He has also been known by combinations of these (e.g. Big Time Prawny, Anna Prawnikova).
6. His favorite sandwich is a prawn sandwich.
7. He looks like a cocker spaniel.
8. Mike Gilyatt runs like a cat.
9. His all-time hero is the cocky and flamboyant wrestler Shawn Michaels, with whom he shares many character traits.
10. His all-time favorite film character is the outgoing but work-shy title character in the 2002 film “Van Wilder: Party Liaison”, with whom he shares many character traits.
11. His current favorite Premiership player is insufferable cock Cristiano Ronaldo, with whom he shares many character traits.
12. He is believed to have been born in Abu Dhabi, in the United Arab Emirates. However, reliable testimony is hard to come by; both his parents were drunk at the time.
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