One of my cows produced a cowpie that looks like Brett Favre

Allow me to clear up this little matter of cow gender confusion. Patiodog and dlowan were quite observant to notice that I wrote something about the cow lifting "his" tail and, as we all know, cows are female while the male is generally referred to as a bull.

Some of my cows are hermaphrodites. It is a matter I didn't particularly feel like disclosing because I really thought it had no importance or relevance to the story at hand, but then pdog and dlowan had to question my farming skills and knowledge of cows, and, well, I guess I had to speak up.

Have you ever noticed the udder on a cow? Of course you have. Now, if you examine it more closely, and you will find this on approximately 2% of the North American holstein cows (my particular variety) you will discover that what at first appears to be a group of nipples is actually a group of nipples and a penis.



Do you see the one to the far left? That is the penis on a hermaphroditic cow. And, as a matter of fact, that is Lynn, the cow who I mentioned earlier as the one who produced the Favre Crapface.

Sometimes I call Lynn "He" or sometimes "She". It only seems fair due to her hermaphroditic nature.

I hope this clears up this matter and I certainly hope sozobe will write a review of the Favre Crapface upon receipt.

I've seen bull penis. That's not a bull penis. If it is, she's only got three teats.

Now, here's one you might make a case for, gus.



And I live in Wisconsin, damn it. It's the dairy state. Except that California produced more milk last year. No matter. Their cows are miserable.

That is not a penis. The cow in your photo has mastitis and you should call the vet right quick.

Where is cowdoc. He's never around when he's needed

'T's a supernumary teat, jefe...

sorry pdog I meant gus' photo.

No need to apologize.

I get a little flustered with all these teats around, and can't make sense of context.

Where indeed is cowdoc? I would like his input on hermaphroditic cows, the nature of the beast and so on, and I also had a question for him regarding curling hooves on my Shetland pony.

I think I'm supposed to shoot the pony when the hooves begins to curl, but I'm going to hold off until I hear the official word from cowdoc.

whatever that thing is it could use a bris....

This from the same guy that saw Jennifer Aniston in his toilet after a long night of tequila and Red Bull....

Ask him aboiut Freemartins, gus, if'n you want to sound a little bit knowledgeable...

Duly noted.

Noted I can unnerstan, but duly? DULY?











What the hell does that mean, anyway?

Ask cowdoc when he comes along.

For god's sake...the pony has foundered.


Put it on an austere diet, get its hooves cut regularly, and get your vet.

Grim:

The school here gets its equine cadavers from a guy out west who tracks down pony neglect cases and they come to us instead of going to the rendering plant (or wherever else their sad carcasses would end up).

Every year there's one or two with elf-feet that break your heart.

What the hell is wrong with people?

It's my opinion that a male cow could only produce a likeness of Brett Favre.

Is there such a thing as a male cow? There seems to be some controversy regarding that subject on this thread.

Nope. Cow, bull, steer -- they're all oxen.

I think it really is Brett Favre.

Wickipedia

The word "cattle" did not originate as a name for bovine animals. It derives from the Latin caput, head, and thus originally meant "unit of livestock" or "one head". The word is closely related to "chattel" (a unit of property) and to "capital" in the sense of property.

Older English sources like King James Version of the Bible refer to livestock in general as cattle. Additionally other species of the genus Bos are often called cattle or wild cattle. This article refers to the common modern meaning of "cattle", the European domestic bovine.

The term 'cattle' itself is not a plural, but a mass noun. Thus one may refer to "some cattle", but not "three cattle". There is no universally used singular equivalent in modern English to 'cattle' other than the various gender and age-specific terms (though 'catron' is occasionally seen as a half-serious proposal). This is a rare situation in the English language and hence a source of confusion. Strictly speaking, the singular noun for the domestic bovine is ox: a bull is a male ox and a cow is a female ox. That this was once the standard name for domestic bovines is shown in placenames such as Oxford. But "ox" is now rarely used in this general sense. Today "cow" is frequently used by the general population as a gender-neutral term, although it is meant to be used solely to mean female (females of other animals, such as whales or elephants, are also called cows). To refer to a specific number of these animals without specifying their gender, it must be stated as (for example) "ten head of cattle." Some Australian, Canadian, New Zealand and Scottish farmers use the term 'cattlebeast' or simply "beast". In some areas of the American South (particularly the Appalachian region) the local inhabitants call an individual animal a "beef critter". This was common until the 1960s and has faded from usage in all but a few areas and even then it is used mostly among the aged inhabitants.

Obsolete terms for cattle include 'neat' (horned oxen, from which 'neatsfoot oil' is derived), 'beef' (young ox) and 'beefing' (young animal fit for slaughtering). Cattle raised for human consumption are called 'beef cattle'. Within the beef cattle industry in parts of the United States, the older term 'beef' (plural 'beeves') is still used to refer to an animal of either gender. Cows of certain breeds that are kept for the milk they give are called 'dairy cows'.

Young cattle are called calves. A young female before she has calved is called a 'heifer' [3][4] (pronounced /ˈhɛfəɹ/, "heffer"). A young female that has had only one calf is sometimes called a "first-calf heifer." A castrated male is called a 'bullock' or 'steer', unless kept for draft purposes, in which case it is called an 'ox' (plural 'oxen'), not to be confused with the related wild musk ox. If castrated as an adult, it is called a 'stag'. An intact male is called a 'bull'. An adult female who has had more than two calves is called a 'cow'. The archaic plural of cow is 'kine' or 'kyne' (which comes from the same English stem as 'cow'). The adjective applying to cattle is 'bovine'.