Café Etiquette

A
on the other hand, if I'm walking toward the cafe and I see someone else also walking toward the cafe I will hasten my step to get there first.

I think you pay, then hope there's a table left for you. The person in front of you probably wondered if they'd get a table, too.

In such situations I've sometimes gotten lucky: the customer before me snagged the last seat, but someone else got up and left while I was ordering, so everyone won. But I've also been burned because I did the noble thing. Indeed, as I probably should have mentioned up front--I ask this question because this very thing happened to me about 10 minutes ago. Argh.

This is such a typical American problem, where everyone has to have
his own table. Everywhere else you would just ask if you could join the ones already seated at a table.

Most folk don't hang around for hours over a coffee, anyway.

CalamityJane, sorry but I've had a few unfortunate experiences when agreeing to share a table. Really. Sad but true.

Funny you should mention that... it occurred to me as I was typing this up that the question wouldn't apply to cafés in Paris, the only non-American city I've lived in for an extended period of time and hence my only foreign basis of comparison. For one thing, the concept of "ordering coffee to go" seemed to be a pretty alien one in Paris; also, the notion of ordering at the register rather than being waited on was pretty rare too.

Then again, sharing tables does happen in the States, sometimes.

I've shared tables at cafes I frequent, rather relaxed places.

I usually do A, can't really remember doing B.
Sometimes I am entering a cafe with a friend, and one will order and the other will get a table.. not so much to beat someone out, though. Just that we both don't have to stand there waiting for lattes to happen.

At a Cafè, Miss Olga? Hm, have you ever been to Vienna? Sitting in
a Cafè is the favorite past time there, and people will seek out your
table to sit with you and chat - unless you're reading a newspaper.

Screw that....grab the table, then order. If it's open, it's open.

And if they ask you to share the table, calmly stand up, then stab them. That's how we roll.

No, not Vienna .... but London, Amsterdam, Bologna, Florence, Oslo, Dubrovnik, Jakarta, Hamburg, Bombay, to name a few .... and yes, I've been at cafes in these places. You can have the misfortune of running into cranks or bores anywhere. Most folk aren't, but (especially if on your own) some can & do materialize.

Me too!

Re sharing tables: are you expected to ignore your table mates or engage them? CJane says engage them..........

I'm up for sharing a table in an empty cafe. 6 degrees of separation usually works.


Light chat about the wheather, cattle prices or similar, if they dont want to chat you'll feel it soon enough.

It depends. I tend to have a newspaper anyway, so if chatting is awkward, no matter.

I think if your table mate isn't obviously immersed in something, chatting would be fine. I currently live in a college-y part of town, so the cafés I frequent are usually populated with students typing away at their laptops. I'm guessing most of them would rather concentrate on their work than make small talk with a stranger.

Totally alien, I would say...

One of my favorite cafés in Paris was this place whose "lunch break" did not necessarily mean that the proprieter actually left the premises to eat lunch; it didn't even mean that he closed the doors or that passers-by were forbidden from entering. It just meant he stopped working for an hour or so. Oftentimes people were still allowed to come in, chat with the proprietor and enjoy a cigarette. The only thing we weren't allowed to do during that hour was order food.

I know two or three guys like that...

It wouldn't occur to me to take the table when I came in, as I ususally just carry my handbag and wouldn't leave that unattended. If I had a book or newspaper, I think it'd be tacky to leave that to claim the table.

What's the big deal? If you're taking the time to sit and have coffee, you can spare the couple of minutes until someone else leaves. It's not like everyone there all arrived at the same time and is going to be there for hours. In the meantime, lean against a wall and read your book with one hand and hold your coffee with the other.

If I was at a table, I'd notice if someone was waiting, and if I was only planning on being there a few more minutes anyway, I'd leave.

Or, I'd ask them if they'd like to join me.

This brings up something I've wondered about.....How long do you think it's appropriate to sit with a cup of coffee at a table? I mean, if everyone spent only a couple of dollars, and sat for hours with their laptop, how is the business making ends meet?