Recommendations plz? Subject matter: grief

Books or any other thing that can be absorbed at my own leisure and in privacy.

Yeah, I know I could just google and ask around. Asking around proved fruitless. No one is talking, reading these things that I know - or they aren't admitting to it.
Besides, I want help sifting through all the crap out there. I wandered in a few book stores looking for something that spoke to me and was not struck by any of it. It was disheartening. Especially because I know there are scads of information and books written for this.

So naturally I now turn to yall.

What I am NOT interested in: personal stories in book form, personal 'journeys' , 'lessons' learnt from death, books on grieving your own or another's illness/dying/declining abilities etc, catch-all grief books, books that are point-by-analysis slash workbooks.

What I AM looking for: Something that can explain what the grieving process is all about in relation to complex losses that have been piled over by years of junk and avoidance.
What TO DO to find my own healthy way of grieving, moving on, and not getting sucked back into repressing.

It's for old business not fresh in action, so I'm NOT interested in funeral arrangements and day to day coping crap when going through a crisis. Crisis past, now want solid help for the aftermath.

thanks !