Honk if you're getting laid this New Year's Eve!

Unfortunately, I can not honk this year. As usual, I'm not gettin any. Yes, that sucks, but I've decided that I shouldn't let it make me bitter. Better to open the doors and welcome those of you who will be getting some nooky this New Year's Eve, and enjoy the happiness of your success vicariously and empathetically. So if you are getting laid this New Year's Eve, then why not admit it on this tiny little internet forum for the enjoyment of a few thousand strangers? We won't tell anyone. Promise.

I, unfortunately, will be alone, and therefore forced to live through another New Year's Eve of simply jerkin' the gerkin, spanking the monkey, whipping the one-eyed weasel into a mouth-frothing frenzy, oiling the slippery saddle, tending the capybara, strangling Fellini, or roping the greasy hog.

But enough about me. Come on now, let's hear from the lucky ones! Let's find out who's punching the short hairs, stickin' it, hittin' it, porkin' it, banking it off the sweet pocket, driving the long one home, boinking, banging, screwing, boffing, painting the daisy, plugging the pipe o' plenty, bagging the big one, poking the sticky muffin, delivering the blood sausage, or stuffing the pink flounder!

{All euphemisms copyright 2006 Kickycan Enterprises}