Depressed during the holidays...me too.

No, not at all! Why do you assume that everyone within your vicinity is
a phony?

You been to a mall lately? Any store? People are nuts...this is nothing new, our crazy consumerist minds.

No, I wised up as soon as online shopping was availabe, thunder.
I don't do malls anymore

Since it depresses you, I suggest you'll do the same next year.
Have a merry christmas, thunder - and think bliss from now on.

Very nice! Unfortunately, I don't have a credit card! :wink:

I hope you have a nice holiday as well...but I hope after the holiday, you have just as great of a time! Don't worry, I don't get suicidal over it or anything, I just lose a little faith in the sincerity of humans.

thunder, life is what YOU make of it.

If you have sincerity within yourself, try to teach others, they might not
know that they're phony. Try to surround yourself and your family with your own tradition and greater meaning of christmas. Basically it is all about
family and loved ones, and if you try to convey this message, you'll receive it too.

I do try to share the holidays with my family/friends...it's not them that make me depressed, I guess it's other people. I don't know how (if it's possible) to affect people that I may see, say in a mall. Those are the ones that depress me.

Hi thunder32, and welcome to A2K.

Not to disagree with CJ, but you didn't say you "assumed" everyone else was a phoney, you said you "felt" that way. I know from experience that a situation may not be a certain way, but that doesn't change the way I feel about it.

Many people have mixed emotions about Christmas thunder, you're not alone.

I take it you are on the young side, since you mention coming come from school to see family. You're in college? If so, you're going through a time in your life where your feelings about a lot of things are being tested. When you're a child, if you enjoyed Christmas then, you may not now as you see it with adult eyes, and the responsibilites that go along with it.

In fact, I do believe many people ARE phoney about Christmas, but they don't even know they are being that way. Then again, it's my belief many people just go through life on auto-pilot, moving with the herd. They are supposed to feel wonderful and happy about Christmas, so they tell themselves they are....and so they are.

Reading the newspaper this morning, I learned something. I knew the celebration of Christmas was taken in large part from Pagan celebrations of the Winter Soltice, I think everyone knows that.
But, up until around 1820, it was traditional for people to basically drink and have sex and carouse during these few weeks, since it was too cold to work, and they had fresh meat (because it was cold) and the leftovers from the harvest had been made into beer.

However, in the early 1800's the industrial revolution came along, and business owners were not too keen on their employees just falling off the face of the earth for a few weeks, showing up drunk, etc.

So, little by slowly, Christmas morphed into a time when you still worked, but took a shorter time to buy gifts, see family/friends, without all the partying. It's gotten to this point that many people find this stressful, because it's just one more thing on their already full plate. It's no longer a time of rest, but ususally a non stop frenzy of spending and making sure everyone is happy, happy, happy.

If you have a close family, seeing them this time of year is great. However, not everyone is close to their families. Another however, they are supposed to visit these people they wouldn't otherwise be spending time with, because....that's what Christmas is all about!!!

At the age you probably are, I think it's some kind of law that you have to feel like Holden Caufield. . So don't worry about it.

Just figure out over the next few years what Christmas means to you, and, to thine own self be true. For those that truly enjoy Christmas, have a kind word for them.
For the people you percieve to be phonies, politely avoid them.

I like a woman who pulls no punches and tells it like it is.

Very interesting post. I learned something.

visited two old friends in the local seniors' home last week ; they've both been in the home for about two years .
they are always happy to see us when we visit them .
even though they are partly paralyzed from a stroke , they always manage a smile .
for anyone really depressed , here is my recommendation :
visit a senior and see their eyes light up when they have a visitor .
your problems will indeed seem small thereafter .
hbg

hamburger, just make sure you keep visiting them throughout the year.

I worked in nursing homes for a few years, and yeah, there are more visitors at Christmas, which makes the residents feel good. But, the visitor goes home, feeling like such a great person, not thinking of this person until the next holiday spirit strikes them.

The light in their eyes don't stay on the whole year.

i usually go every friday - unless the flu is going around .
i have to admit that some of the people in the seniors' home are mentally in pretty bad condition and i don't know if i would have the courage to visit with them .
one of my friends is mentally in pretty good condition , so we can always have a good chat .
unfortunately , he has lost most of his englisch language skills which makes it difficult for him to communicate with the staff . his wife visits with him five days a week , so she has to take care of almost everything - not an easy job .
hbg

I can tell you're the type of person who would visit often, sorry if it sounded like I was singling you out.

It's hard for many people to see old people like that, they aren't all cute and whimsical like on a situation comedy. Instead, they can get cantankerous and drool on themselves, and loose their teeth. However, they are still people who have a rich history. There's so many stories I could tell.

Relating this to Christmas, it's tough to look at the reality that people really need someone to pay some attention to them, and let them know they are still respected as a person. It's an easy out to spend some money at a crowded mall, buying someone an acrylic sweater or some electronic gizmo, and say that shows you care.

right you are , chai tea !

thunder, what you are experiencing is called "group expectations." Everyone is supposed to be happy at Christmas time, consequently when "everyone" isn't, it's a big let down. The result is frustration and consequently, anger. Today was the most realistic Christmas for me and the kids. No gifts were exchanged and we had a simple buffet. I had a glass of Sauvignon Blanc which should have turned to vinegar. It hadn't.

Chai, the only part of your very succinct post that I do not agree with is your quote from Hamlet. It's the context of it, I think.

hamburger, I think you and C.J. are consistent because you are stalwart folks. Wish I could be that way.

Christmas is a fun time. So, what if we abruptly stopped celebrating at this time of year? Would that be better?

It could be you would understand Christmas if you had no family to go home to? I didn't get to see my family this year and that was a downer, but we worked diligently for Blue Santa, loading young family's cars with boxes of gifts, those of course who had no funds for gifts for their children and each other. What big smiles. Loved seeing those smiles.

Why are you worrying about what other people are doing? What do you mean, phony? Why are they phony? Maybe it would help you to see others differently if maybe you did something different yourself next Christmas. Perhaps you are "phony." Are you?

Chai Tea looks like she could be my daughter.

YEAH!

only, in this pictures case, it would be son....that's roland, the metrosexual cat.


sunlover, I believe there is a commonality with people who just can't get enough of the Christmas spirit and those who are ambivilant at best, with extroverts and introverts.

Your initial sentence of "Christmas is fun" kinda sez it all.

Christmas is not "fun" for everyone. That's just a simple fact. Not everyone gets into the hustle and bustle, playing blue santa, enjoying the looks of joy on the little ones faces. That's not saying those people are depressed, or that there's anything wrong, it's just not enjoyable for them.

Letty, your Christmas sounded a lot like mine. We didn't exchange gifts because we are going to start a big project (landscaping) shortly, and that'll be our gift to each other. My step-daughter had mailed us a couple little gifts, a shirt for the man, a scarf for me, and it was nice.
What I meant by "to thine own self be true" was the importance of not forcing yourself to be a jolly elf just because you're "supposed" to be at this time of year. I think that can be very instrumental in making someone start thinking "what's Wrong with ME? Everyone else is SO happy"

sunlover, this is not an all or nothing proposition. Honestly, I don't think it's fair to turn (I forget his name, sorry) words around and say "maybe you're the phony" That's not quite the Christmas Spirit, is it?

It's totally grand and super cool that you get such a blast out of the festivities, but remember, one man's pleasure is another man's poisen. Rather than basically telling someone to snap out of it and get with the program, it's nice to let someone know they are not alone. No one proposed stopping Christmas.

Maybe so, but I don't think we said we "enjoyed" Christmas this year. We enjoyed the bunch in a charitable organization where we helped distribute gifts to those who had none. I enjoyed their smiles, the recipients of the gifts from people they didn't know. I don't connect "Christmas" necessarily with religion. But, Christmas is unlikely to go away, it is here, so we find fun things to do when our family is not around. Otherwise, it may get a little depressing.

No, nobody should settle for all-or-nothing. It's really harsh to just label people "phony." Could be they like to mingle in the insanity of a mall on Xmas Eve. Maybe some are lonely, like us.

Who is "us"?

I take it you are speaking for yourself, since I haven't heard anyone else say they are lonely.

There's nothing wrong with being harsh sometimes.

Especially when those who don't enjoy the stress don't encourage others to be like them, but those who are gung ho suggest others should enjoy something they way they do.

As stated in my initial post, people need to find their own way. They need to primarily find a way to enjoy their own life, and not as Letty said, live up to someone elses expectations.