Christmas gifts - Lists or No Lists?

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Just wondering what the consensus is here - our family grew up figuring out what to buy someone on our own... these days it seems like everyone has a list or gives hints. I personally don't want a list of what someone wants. I like to surprise them.

This year my husband and I, and my kids and us, have agreed that we'll buy one gift for each person for $50, and one couple gift for $50. We did this last year and it was great. The kids told us they wanted stuff for the house, so that's what we bought them. But if they had said, I'd like the blah blah in red, model number 876D - I sure wouldn't be buying it for them.

Do you do lists or not?

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Personally, I like to give lists since I have a number of eclectic hobbies for which I'd like various specific bits and pieces. My wife, on the other hand, has a big problem giving me a list, mainly because her family has in the past ignored her lists and given her the cheapest junk possible while lavishing attention on her sister. No problem though, I just have learned to be very attentive for hints and clues. It actually has made it more fun.

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Mother did lists. Mother insisted on lists for every dammed thing. Lists for the holidays (Christmas and Chanukah). Lists for birthdays. Lists for shopping at the grocery store for crying out loud. Didn't she understand the thrill of racing down the aisles grabbing things just for the heck of it? There was the Mother's Day list which she would crochet into a pillow cover and the anniversary gift list which would be nailed to the closet door. The woman was obsessed with lists.

Mother had lists which needed to have at least 4 items more than the number of people who would be receiving the list. (she also had a small copy machine to make copies of the blasted lists).

I rarely pay mind to the lists. Lists are only to be used in last second desperation and even then it is best to make some alteration. If Alta and Clifford want a wall clock that chimes, get them one that makes train sounds (this also gets them to stop giving you a list). When Frank wanted a wool sweater he received a bag of socks. They were wool and his feet tend to sweat, so... As you can see I not only ignore lists, I alter them to my own liking. Again, this helps to turn you into the person who will not get a list in the future.

Happy holidays Mame!

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I'm a list person. I have lists for everything. I am flying home for Christmas and I have a list of my clothes to pack!

Anyhoo, I put together a list for my family and what pressies I was going to buy. I got input from them and I give them ideas what I would like (anything to do with chocolate, CDs, cooking/kitchen stuff, or South Park).

My sister wants jugs of vodka from duty free - that is her requested pressie - and I will get a gag gift to accompany said bit of hooch. I like to get a couple of small things so that people are surprised.

Unfortunately I went a bit overboard and bought all the requested gifts, a bunch of "ooh look at that, I'll get that" gifts, and now I don't have room in my suitcase for my clothes.

If you see a naked bird in Dublin around Dec 25th, that's Heeven!

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On your chart, put me in the non list column. That fits with the way my brain works anyway, such a fly in swirls brain.

Back when I was around a fair number of friends and relatives and there was a trend for a lot of gift giving, or at least bringing a wrapped or bagged object when going to someone's house for dinner, I enjoyed choosing things myself for each person. I tended to watch through the year for things different people would like, the items not much related to monetary value. If the treasure cost me little, I might also add some food goodies, some additive item.

I got a little crazed for a while, in that I'd also make the gift wrapping out of collages of past issues of design magazines and miscellaneous crappo, some of which glittered. Sick, really, I wrap wedding presents like that too.

I've mentioned before how my cousin once gave me a book she found in an old used bookstore written in the last half of the 1800's on Florence by one Mrs. Oliphant. No big price, but a treasure, and it showed how much she understood me. She probably bought that in July when she and her husband were browsing in a bookstore on vacation.

I understand the efficiency of lists, but think something is often lost. Though I do get Blacksmithn and his hobby-avocation needs, that makes sense.

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I've never received a list and I never would give one out either, and
I would never shop from a list given to me. That's just plain rude!

Christmas is about family, about tradition, being together and as a
token of appreciation, small gift are given. I am not a religious person,
but Christmas is a special time where the spirit should glow, not
the presents.

blacksmith, chances are that everyone dear to you, knows about
your hobby and probably likes to contribute to it, but if I were in your
family and received a list from you, I'd get you a nice sweater instead. Mr. Green

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I agree - the idea of a list of items you want just sounds plain greedy. I can understand and appreciate the practical side of it so you don't get some crap like a flobie (sp?) or a chia pet or something, but it really makes you sound like I want, I want, I want...

I also like the surprise element - if you make a list and know what you expect to get as a gift to me it is not much different than handing over cash and then buying this item. What I do instead is get a gift receipt - that way if you get more than one, wrong size or plain just don't like you - you can return and get something. Kind of a compromise between a list - just getting what you write down and a surprise (just in case to that person it is crap).

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I like lists. Or at least ideas on a list. That way you don't end up buying someone something they already have or something they really don't like.

My family always asks for lists.

We consider them what they are: Wish Lists.

I know that I won't get everything on there. Hell, I might not get anything from there but it at least lets those buying for me know what in general I could use or want.

I don't think it's greedy at all. Especially when someone asks you to make one.

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We usually do some sort of negotiation, ending up with a general idea but no specifics. For example, I've been making jewelry for my mom for the past several years, and this year she requested something blue. That's all. Lots of leeway there and still plenty of room for surprise when she opens it. The other way around, she (and sozlet's other grandparents) always ask for a list of ideas for sozlet, and then we talk about it more from there -- for example I'll say she likes Groovy Girl stuff but has plenty of dolls by now, my m-i-l will say she found a Groovy Girl sleeping bag (girl-sized not doll-sized), would that be useful?, I say yes and she buys it but it's a surprise for sozlet.

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sozobe wrote:

We usually do some sort of negotiation, ending up with a general idea but no specifics. For example, I've been making jewelry for my mom for the past several years, and this year she requested something blue. That's all. Lots of leeway there and still plenty of room for surprise when she opens it. The other way around, she (and sozlet's other grandparents) always ask for a list of ideas for sozlet, and then we talk about it more from there -- for example I'll say she likes Groovy Girl stuff but has plenty of dolls by now, my m-i-l will say she found a Groovy Girl sleeping bag (girl-sized not doll-sized), would that be useful?, I say yes and she buys it but it's a surprise for sozlet.

I do like that way also. And we definately have used it as we have lots of relatives out of state that buy for the girls.

One thing I can say about my girls is they don't have this huge list of items that they want even in their heads - when meeting Santa one asked for twistable crayons and one for a new scooter (don't even know where that came from as she has a pretty new one). The woman taking pictures was shocked - she said most kids that age are asking for ipods.

I just like to keep out of Christmas as much of the material side as possible - sure we give gifts, but we really try to get thoughtful rather than expensive gifts. My girls are always happy at Christmas, but we do not load them up with expensive toys.

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Quote:

I just like to keep out of Christmas as much of the material side as possible - sure we give gifts, but we really try to get thoughtful rather than expensive gifts. My girls are always happy at Christmas, but we do not load them up with expensive toys.

We do the same, and all mine wanted was a soccer ball. Of course she
gets more than that, but it's nice to hear that she doesn't have an extended list of "must haves".

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CalamityJane wrote:

Quote:
I just like to keep out of Christmas as much of the material side as possible - sure we give gifts, but we really try to get thoughtful rather than expensive gifts. My girls are always happy at Christmas, but we do not load them up with expensive toys.

We do the same, and all mine wanted was a soccer ball. Of course she
gets more than that, but it's nice to hear that she doesn't have an extended list of "must haves".

When one of my daughters was two - all she kept asking for was an Elmo lollipop. She told Santa and she was insistent that Santa would give her an Elmo lollipop for Christmas. I searched high and low for the damn thing - Elmo seemed to be on everything, but lollipops - couldn't even find one on-line any where even ebay!

I found some of those sugary cupcake toppings with a picture of Elmo's face. I bought some white chocolate colored in red and a round lollipop molds. I melted the red chocolate, put the elmo sugary face in the mold and poured the melted chocolate over it - once cooled, I popped them out and volia an Elmo lollipop. I never worked so hard for a Christmas gift before, but damn if that is all she really wanted - she was going to get it.

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My teenage daughters write lists, but we only use them as a guideline. We're cutting back on adult sibling gifts on Mr B's side of the family this year (my side cut it off years ago) and switching to enjoying an event together (TBD) rather than try to think of 'things'.

Mr B and I decided to do the same. We just spent a weekend together in New Orleans as our Christmas gift to each other. We're at the stage where we'd rather give the gift of time than fill up the house with more stuff.

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I remember the Elmo lollipop!

Sweet story. :-)

Sozlet wants another Webkinz -- she got one for her birthday from a friend and wants that one to have company. She's extremely excited about buying her Webkinz a yard to play in for Christmas (she's earned enough money). (For those who don't know, Webkinz are these stuffed animals [~$12] that come with a code that allows you into Webkinz world, a fairly standard Sims-type-game where you earn money, buy your pet food, lodging, and accroutements, etc. The games are pretty good, and I like the money management aspect. [Yes, you can buy that expensive bed, but then poor Webkinz won't have anything to eat...])

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sozobe wrote:

I remember the Elmo lollipop!

Sweet story. :-)

Sozlet wants another Webkinz -- she got one for her birthday from a friend and wants that one to have company. She's extremely excited about buying her Webkinz a yard to play in for Christmas (she's earned enough money). (For those who don't know, Webkinz are these stuffed animals [~$12] that come with a code that allows you into Webkinz world, a fairly standard Sims-type-game where you earn money, buy your pet food, lodging, and accroutements, etc. The games are pretty good, and I like the money management aspect. [Yes, you can buy that expensive bed, but then poor Webkinz won't have anything to eat...])

That sounds like a great toy! I am a huge educational toy type fan. Other things I like are board games - I like the play together aspect. I also love the gift of time - For birthday present to one of my daughters we gave tickets to the Nutcracker - it was her favorite gift.

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Lists make sense for weddings.. but for christmas? it turns into a transaction of sorts. then again, i can't even come up with a shopping list and if i ever do, it's blatantly disregarded... i just couldn't care less about lists.

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Whatever doesn't frighten the horses.

As a child I received a number of dolls as gifts. I didn't want dolls, I didn't like dolls, but I learned to say, "Thank you very much," when I opened a package with a doll.

As a teenager I was gifted with a lot of clothing. I'm not particularly interested in clothing. "Neat, but not gaudy" has always been my motto. I learned how so say, "Thank you very much. You certainly recognize my colors," when I opened one of those flat, blah department store boxes.

As a Young Married Woman I was given a lot of kitchen gadgets. I'm a good, plain cook--but I don't particularly like to cook. I don't like gadgets of any sort.

If someone tells me what they want, I make every effort to get them what they want. I still open packages with bric-a-brac and clothing and assorted gadgets and say, "Thank you very much."

Then I recycle.

Occasionally someone gives me my hearts desire, but I know better than to expect my Heart's Desire on a regular basis.

If someone wants bric-a-brac or clothing or gadgets, I'll buy bric-a-brac or clothing or gadgets. Striving to present a Heart's Desire is more important to me than using my considerable creativity.

As long as it doesn't frighten the horses....

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No lists.

There are a few who have hinted in a way that made me cringe. Pretty much listing off orally what they want directly to me.

That's cool, I guess? The aim is to do something for the other person, not oneself, so I 'take the hint' and if there is something they want so badly, I will get it.

Personally, I have a lot more fun with the ones who make it a game to tease back and forth about what we will get or not get each other. You know the ones: the ones who want a thoughtful gift, who want you to dig deep and find/create that thing they never knew they wanted but just love.

I happen to be easy to please, but prefer thoughtful gifts to cash/gift certificates/something that is known that I need.

Xmas is for fun, to me, not necessity. Even if you write me a pretty letter - it truly is the thought that counts. To be acknowledged and remembered.

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