When I was about nine, my Dad and I had this conversation. Because I was having 'weird' thoughts.
I can remember standing at the subway platform, my toes right on the yellow line, and thinking.....'what would happen if I jumped off?'.....
I also remember having this feeling while an elevator door closed.....while looking out over a high view (either on land or from a building).....
Even thoughts about passing a big tree while driving my car.....'what if I turned the wheel right now and smashed right into that tree'.....
My Dad told me that these kind of thoughts were completely natural, and since then, they haven't bothered me at all. He even went as far to share some examples from his career as a police officer. I still have the thoughts, but the end result is quick to enter my mind and then the whole scenario is gone.
I was giving an honest scratch at a scab that has long since healed. I guess youve gotta see death on the hoof and some troubles to be able to take part in such pondering. I paid some mighty dues that Ive learned from , so Lowan, and Kere can be as flippant as they wish, macht nichts.
yeah... I'd picked out the very spot, the telephone pole that I'd hit doing about seventy.
That thought actually kept me going for a few rough months. If it ever gets too tough, well, there's always that telephone pole... naaah!
Whenever I get in a depressed, suicidal rut, I watch 'Harold and Maude'. That usually cures it right up.
Don't get me wrong -- definite distinction here between craving the consequences and feeling a little push to do the action. I've been in both places, and the "I can fly!" impulse is less likely to get me than that "Just put yourself out of everybody's misery" voice from some time back. Right around that time, my uncle hanged himself, and I got the message on an answering machine after a drive in which my mind had been flitting over some rather, um, disturbing images. That message really changed things for me.
But, really, this is about those little animal things -- sure, I can jump on that. I could make it from this cliff to that tree, no problem. And perhaps some more physically prolific ancestor could have done just that, dunno.
I did try to do a drunken backflip off a porch onto an inexplicable mattress in the yard one time. Turned out I wasn't quite the acrobat I thought I was. Probably contributed to the little pains I get when I sit in one place too long...
Part of my work each day involves dealing with the results of people deciding to take on the pole, the embankment, the truck speeding toward them. It's definitely a disincentive to ever try - i think the results when they are not successful are worse for all of us than when they are successful.
Last summer when I had a motorcycle(wish I didn't get rid of it now, dammit), couple times I'd look down on the pavement while going 80mph or so on the highway and thinking, "imagine if I fell of the bike right now...that would hurt." That would scare the hell out of me, and I'd have to start thinking happy thoughts...like that time I pushed some chick off the back while going 80mph on the highway.
I know her. Made quite a splash with the locals.
Folks, the weather has been lousy -- but holy moley!!!!
Frank, love your avatar - looks right out a of Hemmingway novel!
How can you tell, Bill? It's not a full frontal.
Just the sun, tan, and looks like a Key West kind of a sky.
I remember E, sitting shotgun, would step on my gas pedal foot and grab the steering wheel, until we got dangerously close to whatever was on the side of the road. She would crack-up as I yelled and said she was crazy. And she was in other more bothersome ways.
Welcome aboard Gargmel. Glad to see you lived another day to tell us all about it
What up, garg...ironically, I had some quality "me-time" this morning with a picture of the Kool-Aid guy.
Gargamel wrote:I remember E, sitting shotgun, would step on my gas pedal foot and grab the steering wheel, until we got dangerously close to whatever was on the side of the road. She would crack-up as I yelled and said she was crazy. And she was in other more bothersome ways.
Can't imagine what might bother you more than the prospect of sudden vehicular death.
I don't think I would ever get in a car with "E." again!!!!!!!!
"E" sounds like a gas. Get it? A gas!!!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Spent an hour and a half in a dentist's chair today getting 15-year-old fillings replaced. Zoning out on that light up there, crank up the tunes, someone's got your mouth propped open and the music never drowns out the grinding of teeth.
Now I can't feel my friggin' mouth and have to keep wiping drool off my lip. Good fun.
Slappy--that's funny, I had some me-time with a picture of Mr. Peanut, the Planters guy. Something about those spindly legs.
In a related concept, patiodog, next time get novacane on one of your hands, so you can play a game called "the stranger."
Guy: "The guy next to me on the bus was masturbating."
Friend: "That's horrible."
Guy: "That's not even the worst of it. He was using MY hand."
