THE UNITED STATES THREAD

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This thread will be only for the people who live in the United States. The reason I am starting this thread is a direct result of the behavior exhibited on THE BRITISH THREAD.

You try to enter that damned thread and they just ignore you. They think they are so cool.

I hate those damned Brits and their condescending attitudes. Why is it that the people from the United States are so friendly, well-educated, good-looking, and charismatic, while the Brits are the opposite in every aspect?

So, let's talk about the Grand Canyon and Niagara Fall, and the beauty of Vermont in the fall, and the majestic sweep of the Plains, and leave those Brits to talk about the ghetto they call London and those stupid Stonehenge rocks that they're always talking about.

Rocks! Ha! What a joke.

I guess we can allow the Germans here. And maybe the Aussies.

BUT NO BRITS!!!

If one of them tries to enter this thread please take the time to ignore them.

I will not tolerate their presence.

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I don't know if we should allow the Aussies in....they sound too much like them damn Brits! I think we could let the Canadians in tho...they sound like us.....normal!!

Here's another thing about them Brits....they're always drinkin that sissified tea! Not good strong coffee like us! That's we were so much gooder and stronger!! That's why we had to save their butts in World War II!

Yeehaa!!

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All I can say is, IT'S ABOUT TIME!

The Aussies must be allowed in though. It might help me in my quest to get my hands on dlowan's goodies.

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Brits. You know they drink warm beer, don't you? Warm Beer! Ha! RIDICULOUS!

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Stray Cat brings up a good point about the tea.

What a bunch of wimps!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahah!

(I bet they have their pinkies extended when drinking the tea.)

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I am willing to wager that if 100 of the strongest British men challenged me to a fight and I accepted the challenge and fought them, not one at a time, but all at once, within thirty five seconds the ground would look like the Battle of New Orleans.

And I would be standing proud.

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Dear Fortnum and Masons, please arrange to be delivered, the following:-

1lb Carrots
5lbs Red Potatoes
3 Aubergines
2 Large onions.
2 Cloves of Garlic.
1 Tin Red Kidney Beans
1lb Lean minced beef
1 Tube Denture repair glue
1 Tube "Anusol" personal itch cream
1 Bag self raising flour.
1 Can aerosol deodorant (I think that's how one spells it)
1 Can armpit deodorant
1 Large tub Ice cream (Cornish clotted)
1 Jar Strawberry Jam
1 Maxi pack of Durex fetherlite (ribbed for her pleasure)
2 Large white sliced loaf.
1 Bottle of cologne ("Allure")
1 Canister Athlete's foot powder
1 Male appendage minimiser + accompanying leather knee strap.
1 Magazine (Nun wrestling weekly)
and 10 Havana Imperials.

Please deliver on Thursday. You can leave it in porch if necessary.

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Quote:

What a bunch of wimps!!

Oh, you can say that again! I once saw a gangster movie where all the gangsters were played by British actors! It was so pathetic, it was a riot!

Just imagine any good American gangster movie, if the actors were British.....

Robert De Niro if he were British:

"Were you addressing me? I'm sorry.....Were you addressing me?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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How about if Dirty Harry was played by a Brit instead of Clint Eastwood?

"I say, chap, go ahead and make my day. Cheerio. Pip pip."

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That's another thing about them Brits.....they ain't got no cowboys either!

They ain't cool!

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At least the Irish keep the Brits in line somewhat.

That helps.

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I'm so sorry, I appear to have had both the shopping channel and A2K open at the same time.

I also have to apologize to my local Grocers now, as I've just told them that their thread is inferior.

No doubt they'll be withdrawing all their cotton reels overnight.

Carry on, you amusing Colonial people.

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Or James Bond.
"Bond. James Bond."
What a riot.

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http://www.dbeinla.org/Photospub/Dscn0022.jpg

LOOK AT THEIR COPS!!

I'm dying here. I am absolutely laughing my ass off.

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James Bond was a pretty boy sissy.

Al Pacino if he was British:

"I'm going to pop on over there and extend them an offer....and I dooo so hope they don't refuse it..." (drinking tea with pinkie extended)

Yeah...that'd intimidate anybody....

Here's another thing...we were the first ones to land a man on the moon. I'd like to see the Brits do that.

We could do it because we worked on that moon deal day and night! We were drinkin.....coffee!!!

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....and we go to bed SO early as well!

Wimps, the lot of us!

Goodnight, you strange but lovely people with funny accents. I know you love us all really.

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Here's another example of the difference between us and the Brits...

Here's one of our trains...

http://www.nytstore.com/ProdImages/NSAPMY18_large.jpg

Powerful looking, isn't it? The kind of train one uses to build a country.

You want to see a train built by the Brits?

Check it out....

http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/RAblenkinsop.jpg

Hahahahhahaha!!

You know what they called it? Are you ready?

The Blenkinsop Locomotive. I kid you not.

I am holding my sides and trying not to bust a gut.

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You wanna laugh? Check this out!

http://www.thatsweird.net/Pictures/prince_charles.jpg

http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2004/11/29/prince-charles.jpg

THE UNITED STATES THREAD

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