Lightbulb Moments

On another subject, I, who had cried over my homework in my grading and drainage class, suffering a variety of math challenges, some of which, but not all, had to do with the teacher's later admitted ill-worded/screwed up numbers in the questions, but then again some ordinary questions made me cry in frustration - some year laters learned to get a kick out of moving earth around on paper and in real life. Getting how to do that was exhilarating. Not an electric spark in my brain... more sort of whole body sense of "can do".




On the other hand, I've gotten to be much more of a Let the Land Alone type in the years since then, so my epiphany has shrunken, indeed, shriveled. Still, I remember catching on to the connection of numbers on a page and moving three dimensional volumes.

My strongest moment was watching one of those new H2 commercials.

They spend most of the opening of the commercial showing off the Hummer, then they end it by panning upwards.
Through the trees, through the clouds, above the continent, then into the atmosphere.

At that moment I really freaked out.

I had a true sense of how small we are and how little we really mean as an individual.

THIS never crossed my mind before.
I mean, I live in my world, and my world is huge-full-overflowing at times.

I forget there is another side to this planet , and billions of acres I will never lay eyes on.
Millions of people I dont even know exist. Trillions of trees that make up the air I breathe..

And, I go through all of this and come back down to how I think that was some horrible advertisement.

Basically, it reminds you of how little you are and how insignificant a hummer is in the big scheme of things..


at least for me it did.

I grew up flying, then worked in aerospace. That can help one put things in perspective.

Shewolf, if you haven't already, try maps.google.com and use the hybrid feature which shows both roadmaps and satellite info together. I think you'll find it very enlightening.

I have that program google earth

And I absolutly love it

In fact, I think I got it after that silly commercial..


(edited// I forgot to add google earth to my sentance.. )

Google Earth is way cool too. I like the hybrid mapping because I'm looking for a new place to live and it shows off geological features as well as roads and houses.

I think I was somewhere around 6 years old. About 4 or 5 feet into what was prolly a 12 or 15 foot trip from the garage roof to the ground, I realized there was much more to parachuting than a kid with a bedsheet was gonna accomplish.

I used to try that off the toilet

That is when I learned that it requires wind


So, i grabbed my moms box fan

I actually remember the first time I understood death.

Watching some poxy WWII movie and a pilot was trapped in his plane and it was spiralling into the ground. I was maybe 4 or 5 (never had a pet) and it suddenly dawned that he wouldn't be back. Ever. He would just 'end'. He wasn't even a central character. I ran from my Grandma's TV room out to the backyard heart pounding. Calmed myself down and got on with the rest of my life. I used to wonder why that didn't pray on peoples minds all the time, now I know why.

I think about that every time I eat a cheeseburger.

Nothing wrong with being in tune with the cycle of life.

Stray Cat, I watch the Discovery Channel, though I have to admit I watch more the for shows about animals than the ones about people. But I've seen a few about the origins of homo sapiens.

Osso, Your epiphany can't shrivel. When you epiphed, you epiphed. The "whole body sense of can do" appeals to me. Not sure I've experienced it, though.

Yup, shewolf, we're a short-lived (so far), trouble-making species in a small galaxy in an insignificant solar system. Who? Us? Yeah, us. I like the idea of your attempting flight from the top of a toilet seat. Did the fan help?

cjhsa, You can get a perspective on things from being in a plane. I often thought about the first astronauts and their ability to see the curve of the earth and those who went to the moon and got to see the whole shmear. That's perspective.

timber, That split second of understanding can be a doozy. Glad you're still with us.

hingehead, There are theories (mostly related to theistic views) concerning humans' being the only species with a conscious understanding of our own mortality. That first true understanding is a bummer. Painful, too, especially when it relates to somone you love. "You mean I'm never gonna see grandma again?" Hard to accept.

Robbie - you feel it in your shoulders as well as your brain, or in your feet, or, perhaps in your case, your typing fingers.

Not to be presumptuous. Mighta been your ears..

Epiphany

3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.


...an awesome gift to ourselves...and far too rare an occurrence.

Hingehead, I remember having the realization that while I will someday die, I will never be "dead". There will be no "I" (subject) to be in a state of death/oblivion (predicate). This, it occurred to me, will be just like the condition before birth, no "me" to be unborn.
(is beforebirth any less problematical than afterlife?)

osso, Not the fingers, not the ears. Most likely my gut.

Thanks, 2Packs.

JL, I confess that your post has left me fahblungit (spelling varies). Def: Lost, mixed up, wandering about without any idea of where you are. In other words, huh? Please defuhblungitize me. Both contentwise and predicatewise.

<in corner howling laughing> though not meaning to offend..

I've met both of you. Would give a lot to see you two in a cafe talking.

Not offended. Just wondering what's funny. Doesn't matter. Glad you had a good laugh, regardless of the reason.

Oh, Iso remember the reading thing, Boida!

I cannot recall the exact moment it all made sense, but I recall very shortly after, being on a bus with my mother, and reading out loud every bit of signage I could see anywhere, in utter joy.....

I was just declaiming "Trotter Goods" when I turned around and realised that all the people in the bus were highly amused, and wanted to sink through the floor.


I also remember the first moment I had that dizzying, scary, amazing moment of realising that I was me....and that everything around me was, for me, processed through a bunch of sense organs and a consciousness, and that I was, ultimately, utterly alone. Have you had that strike through you like a lightning bolt? I can still bring it back by repeating, ungrammatically I believe, "I am me". I think I was mebbe 6 or 7 when that happened?





The other one I recall right now, from about the same age, was repeating a word a number of times for some reason, and realising that it, and other words, had no intrinsic meaning, but only appeared to do so because we had assigned one to them, in some amazing process deep in the mists of time.


I also become deeply moved by objects from antiquity...it seems utterly unbelievable to be holding a thing made by human hands, just like mine, so long (by our evanescent human standards) ago.....an object which has somehow voyaged through time to my eyes, or, rarely, hands....and which will continue its connecting voyage through our short lives...hopefully for thousands of years to come.


Ditto with tangible things, like tombs, connected to people whose writing or lives I find inspiring.......like Chaucer's tomb, or Shakespeare's, or Elizabeth I.

Deb querida, I can relate to the reading aloud thing in a public place. Except I wasn't embarrassed; I was proud. I can also relate to the word thing. I can't quite remember when or how it hit me that a word was just letters stuck together to create a sound and an idea.

As for the alone thing, nope. That never struck me, but I can imagine the impact of such a revelation And I can absolutely relate to the lightning bolt.

I never felt a special connection to antiquity, but I feel a very strong connection to creative greatness. As I wandered through the museums of Europe, I was overwhelmed with the desire to touch things--the things that the creative genius created. My hand and his hand in the same place although centuries apart. I managed to sneak a few touches. No sirens went off, except inside of me. I felt a connection. I somehow got close enough to the statue of David to touch the base. My hand and Michelangelo's hand. Electric.