Joe Nation's Final Days

Hey!

I'm trying to pack.

Then I thought "Pack?"

So I am just refolding a bunch of tee-shirts.


Joe(Oh, I need to call Goodwill)Nation

T-shirts are all you'll need on the island, Joe. That and some feathers.

Works here in Matamoros, too, especially in the bars. But I don't need to tell you that, do I.

I think I'll have another of those Slaamming Whodoods. <gulp>

When speaking with these noble savages Joe, did they by chance offer you drink? Because I think these guys are just messing with you. The coral is also hallucinogenic and I don't the tower really exists. I do however thinks there's a chance that these are just some of dyslexia's southwestern godless anarchist buddies having a little sport with you and the famous "Arizona Coral Collapser" as they call the drink out West. It's worth looking in to. The frerckle breasted bartender is a clue as well. Most NYC bartenders are too pale for that kind of thing. You may be the victim of an elaborate hoax guy.

http://www.gardeninginarizona.com/Plants/Fabaceae/Erythrina_flabelliformis.html

BBB
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Dr. Freud called... he wants his wet dream back....

I don't think Freud would have had the spear go through just above the heart... .


Yeah, you guys can laugh, but it's be that's going to me who's going to disappear in the vast blueness

Joe(Gives a whole new meaning to "He's off!)Nation

Well, I'M not laughing, Joe.

Okay, that explains the stoned/coral misunderstanding, I guess. But I'm having second thoughts about watching them spear you through the heart. >wincing<

Stoning you to death is different. I could stand watching that, I think. But the spearing and flinging thing....I just don't know.

>wringing hands<

I mean, I want to go and all. I don't want you to have to go through this alone. That's what friends are for, right? To hold your hand when things get tough. Not that I'd actually be holding your hand. I'd be a nice, safe distance away...say, fifty feet or so. But I'd be there to hold your hand in a spiritual sense.

Do you think they could give me some of that coral-shrimp drink, too? Watching this is going to be extremely painful. Not as painful as what you'll be going through, but, well...you know.

(Filling up popcorn bowl)

Im here for ya Joe.

Eva wrote:



Not to worry. Watch for the freckled breasted barista, drink whatever she gives you.

Joe(It won't be that bad)Nation

(sniff)
I am moved to quote a few lines from the Jack Kirkwood radio show of the 1950s.

I'm a dyin'. I'm a goin'.
You can have my BVDs
And when you itch think of me please
I'm headin' for a land far away . . .

I knew you would understand,edgar.


Joe(going, going,)Nation

Okay, well, I'm headed off to bed. Gotta get a good night's rest tonight...we have a full day tomorrow, Joe.

We have to fly from here (Matamoros) to Isla de Mujeres, stop by the bar with the freckled breasted barrista for a large thermos of Slaamming Whodoods, rent a rubber floatie or two, then paddle over to Isla Mujes, where you will be feted by the High Holy Council of the Zthatzne at a spectacular ceremonial Last Supper. The festivities start at sundown.

Are you all packed yet?

Don't forget your passport!!!

....and clean underwear!

totally unecessary. when the spear pierces his heart his bowels will let go so clean underwear will be an impossibility.

Yeah, but they'll at least be clean up till that point. Good etiquette counts!

I have to make this quick. There isn't much time and I have to uplink this from the Starbucks down the street.

All is going according to plan.

Eva and I flew in to Matamoros early this am and were met by the freckled breasted barista who was there to help us with our baggage.

Heh heh. Turns out her name is Melinda and she has a grandmother who lives in Coweta, Oklahoma.

Melinda offered Eva a frosty bottle of something coolly pink and in ten minutes we had them both back on the plane to the US. (Eva insisted that I buy a round trip ticket. Melina is flying back as Josie Nation with a beautiful fake ID>)

Eva will be back to her leafy neighborhood home in time for her birthday.

Meanwhile, OiOi and I ... well, we are off on our own flight, at least I am.

Got to go.

So, this is it. I'm not going to make any long remarks, I haven't time. Just know that you are all in my thoughts.

Oh, and please whip the Republicans this fall.

One funny thing: I told Melina about the Flinging Tower and the Spear and all and she said "Cool man, I had my belly button done a couple of months ago." and she showed me the little silver barbell, "It really stung."

Yes, I thought.

Piercings and partings are always painful.

Be well.

Joe Nation

uh , can I make a small eulogy celebrating the life of Joe (toe-tag) Nation?

By all means, farmerman!

Just please, for the sake of decency, wait until he is dead. 'K?

somebody gimme a hammer.

Don't mention hammers, please. I've got a half dozen of them pounding inside my head.

Whew. That was some trip....I just got home. I honestly don't remember getting on that plane. Joe and Melinda must have poured me into a seat and fastened the seatbelt for me, because last I knew I was crying hysterically and hugging Joe and begging him to reconsider going to Isla Mujes. He gently wiped the mascara off my face, Melinda handed me a cold drink, and the next thing I knew, I was at 30,000 feet and the pilot was announcing our descent into Tulsa.

What the hell was in that bottle anyway? My head is throbbing, and I can't feel my feet.

I seem to have acquired a new suitcase, too. This one doesn't look like mine............