Just saw this, Heph... sorry you have to deal with so much at once.
Can you just have a very straight talk with your brother about how of course you'll give it your best shot but you can't promise it will work out, and that you're worried about the consequences if it doesn't? From what you've said so far it seems like he would be pretty understanding, and then you can go into it with a clear conscience and do your best and see what happens. If it works out, great! If it doesn't, no shut doors.
Thanks sozobe. Yeah. That's what I'm planning to do this weekend. According to my parents they don't think he could pay me enough to live on. His company is rather small at this point. But they don't really know. And they definitely don't want me to move from FL. I just am so scared of screwing up more. I can't afford to close any more doors at this point. I don't want something like this to come between my brother and I during a time when we need each other so much because of what's happening with our father. But maybe he won't put conditions on helping me. Maybe he's sincere and just really wants to help. Just wants to give me an opportunity to do something better. I know my brother is so cool and even if it didn't work out chances are it wouldn't be bad between us.
But still. I have moved how many times in the last year? Had how many jobs? Ummm... well maybe one more wouldn't make that much of a difference at this point anyway. I'm just scared. I feel like a deer caught in the headlights... Afraid to touch anything anymore because everything I touch seems to fall apart.
I'd go, and figure out what happens with my life later.
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On the subject of something else, hamburger often reminds me that you can always get more money later, but you can never get time back.
Hephzibah, your dad's got a stage 4 cancer. That's serious crap. Go, see your dad. Maybe you can pick up a job near him - maybe with your brother, maybe somewhere else. Spend some time with your dad.
I honestly can't say I've ever had anyone tell me that they regretted spending time with a seriously ill family member or close friend. They have regretted not spending more time with them/not going to see them when they could.
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I think sozobe's given you a good idea on how to deal with your brother's offer.
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I think your mother and stepfather have to, in a sense, just deal with the fact that you want/need to be with your father - and that he needs/wants to see you. They need to be grown-ups about that. This is not about them.
Thanks ehbeth. I need to just take this one thing at a time. I know that. I'm trying so hard. But it's so darn overwhelming sometimes. All of it. Anyway, my next "one thing" to do is to go to bed so I can leave tomorrow. Thanks for your help you guys. I'll talk to you when I get back.
ossobuco is a graphics designer. If you like drawing it is a good fit. Mostly you will be using software. Learning graphic design should be the focus for working with your brother. It is a well-paying job. With the training from your brother you could work somewhere else even in FL closer to your mom.
