Were the pigeons pissed, or hungry?

damn sea gulls are even worse.

huge flying rats.

I've seen 'em get as big as a beagle.



I was getting out of the car once, had both arms outstreched, you know, reach for the door with one hand, grabbing something still in the car with the other, when this friggin gull shat on me from one fingertip to the other. All over my head, and I had hair half way down my back then.

I died right then from contaminated seagull poop, right next to the car. The paramedics had to get out the AED to bring me back to some sort of life.

I'd rather get my eye poked out than ever have that happen again.

I remember reading that damn jonathan livingston seagull book and thinking "they are just a bunch of nasty farging birds"


oh...here's MY fishing story....when I was 6 or 7 I was sitting in a damn rowboat in the middle of the Manasquan river with my stupid brothers who gave me a pole to hold....weeee....so by dumb luck I get a fish, probably 3 inches long, and while I was "working" it, it surfaced and a farging seagull grabs it and tries to fly off.

For a few moments I was stunned, looking at this horrible bird that was somehow attached to me, and was pulling at me.

So, I did the only sensible thing I could think of...the same thing I would do today....I threw the damn pole as far away from me as I could.

Now I had to hear "Boy Chai Tea, you're so dumb. I can't believe how dumb you are"

Oh yeah right, what was I going to do with a seagull, or some mangled 3 inch fish that had seagull claw holes all over it? Best of all, now I didn't have a stinking fishing pole to fool around with.

you know, I was just reflecting on how much color and verve Slappy brings to a2k, and then I suddenly had the awful thought: what if Slappy were to disappear like Kicky did?! Noooooo! My God, what would we do??

Slappy, promise us you'll never leave, even though you have the hottie girlfriend now.

What's that, throw a pebble at you?

Chai, what the hell are you talking about the paramedics had to bring you back? You passed out from getting **** on by a bird? You priss.

Cyphercat, having women in my life usually just equates to more material. Or maybe less, actually. Either way I promise I'll never get sick of making jokes about molesting farm animals with pencils.

Pigeons huh?

I don't have anything to say about pigeons..but I can sure bitch about Crows....lol They must be cousins, because they are annoying at hell to have to deal with. You never see one till your in the woods all still and quiet and the thing starts circling ya, cawwing, and making the biggest racket, like he's tattling on ya...then the next thing you know.. a whole blasted flock of them flying overhead.


Makes me wanna just start shooting....watching them fall to the ground dead.

I was on a ferry last summer, and this dude was standing there eating a sandwich, when a seagull came flying down trying to grab it. Ballsy little fellas. Then of course these idiots start throwing bread up at them. I wanted to throw them off the side of the boat.

you are apparently unaware of the devasting effects the sniffles can have on the average Columbidae, as well as the lesser-known Otidiphabinae...

Doves and pheasant pigeons, as it happens, do not GET sniffles.

While I admire several of the revenge tactics mentioned above, I prefer to give pigeons a taste of their own medicine--I'll attempt to **** on them from my apartment window.

I haven't been successful yet. Meaning I haven't yet hit a pigeon. I did manage to drop a turd in an old lady's fruit basket hat once. Totally worth a try, folks.

Shitting out of your window on to ANY living creature makes for a fun sport, not just pigeons. Even on to automobiles. So when people come back to their car, they can exclaim, "someone **** ON MY CAR!!!"

Well, it's nice to know you boys have a hobby.