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STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

 
 
Reyn
 
Reply Fri 11 Aug, 2006 09:50 pm
Quote:
STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY
Researchers Say Alcohol Affects Women's Blood Pressure, Researchers' Interest

Cambridge, Mass. (Reuters) Update ?- According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than women who do not consume alcohol.

The report, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, studied drinking patterns and blood pressure among 70,000 nurses between the ages of 25 and 42.

Dr. Eric Shinauer, who headed the study for Harvard's School of Public Health, put the findings in perspective. "Alcohol, 70,000 nurses, and us," he said. "Is that cool or what?"

Shinauer and his colleagues ?- Dr. Andrew Sporata and Dr. Chandra Palava ?- conceded their initial grant was to study salt consumption. However, upon reflection, the trio decided that adjusting the parameters would dramatically heighten their interest in the research.

Explained Palava: "What it came down to was, did we want to say, 'Here young lady, have some salt and let's see what happens,' or, 'Here young lady, have a drink and let's see what happens.'"

"We're scientists, but we're not dead," he added.

In fact, Shinauer theorized there would be much more interest in studying women's health issues if alcohol were involved. Reaction to his study seems to bear this out, as already, several leading universities say they will attempt to verify the group's findings.

At Stanford University, epidemiologist Bruce Cawthorn said his department is very interested in testing Shinauer's conclusion that women who have more than 10 alcoholic drinks a week increase their risk of developing high blood pressure by 30 percent. But more importantly, he added, his staff is "totally stoked" by the concomitant finding that these same women were also, statistically speaking, a blast.

Shinauer, however, insisted their most valuable conclusion was that researchers could do variations on this type of study for years. "We could do how alcohol affects blood pressure among female flight attendants, or how alcohol affects blood pressure among female strippers. We are so golden."

Palava, meanwhile, said he is working on "the Holy Grail" for this area of study ?- a report on how drinking among young women affects drinking among young women. "We just have to figure out some statistically significant reason for doing it," he said.

Palava bristled, however, at the suggestion that researchers should also study the effect of alcohol on young men. "Jesus, we're not gay," he said.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 738 • Replies: 15
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dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 11 Aug, 2006 09:56 pm
*pulls tounge firmly from cheek*
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:25 pm
HAHA!!! And in Cambridge, MA, no less. How come no contacted Dasha and I?
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:30 pm
You guys must have been off being the life of the party somewheres. :wink: Laughing
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:32 pm
That somewhere would have been our kitchen.
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:32 pm
My taxpayer dollars paid for this study? Hell, if they'd just given me the money, I could've told 'em that.
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:33 pm
Were tax dollars spent on that study. I would have done for it half.
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:34 pm
spendius wrote:
Were tax dollars spent on that study. I would have done for it half.


Most of these inane "researches" are funded by federal grant money.
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:40 pm
Wassssh isssh?

weeeee!
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:56 pm
Merry Andrew wrote:
My taxpayer dollars paid for this study? Hell, if they'd just given me the money, I could've told 'em that.

hehehehe.... Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 03:57 pm
Chai Tea wrote:
Wassssh isssh?

weeeee!

http://www.able2know.com/forums/images/avatars/128146036744dcd1ceabc6d.jpg
Chai, I'm confused. You realize this new avatar makes you look like you're picking your nose, eh?
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 05:03 pm
We seem to have a consensus that we are being phucked over.

The question is--what do we do about it?
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 06:28 pm
Reyn wrote:
Chai Tea wrote:
Wassssh isssh?

weeeee!

http://www.able2know.com/forums/images/avatars/128146036744dcd1ceabc6d.jpg
Chai, I'm confused. You realize this new avatar makes you look like you're picking your nose, eh?


no, i'm showing you my booger.
0 Replies
 
Casino Joe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 06:35 pm
Re: STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY
Reyn wrote:


"We're scientists, but we're not dead," he added.



Thankyou, Reyn.

That gave me a good laugh!

Laughing
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 06:51 pm
I wish to draw attention to the date of copyright for this article and the disclaimer.
still funny though.


Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.
SatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2003, SatireWire, LLC. All rights reserved.

"Younger women who drink two or three alcoholic beverages a week have a lower risk of developing high blood pressure than women who do not consume alcohol." -- Reuters
STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK
WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY
Researchers Say Alcohol Affects Women's Blood Pressure, Researchers' Interest

Cambridge, Mass. (SatireWire.com) Update ?- According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than women who do not consume alcohol.
Interesting Woman Drinking
This woman reduced her risk of high blood pressure, and increased her interest among researchers, just by consuming a few drinks.

source satirewire
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2006 06:58 pm
>hic<heeeeey>hic<waaaaaasshhhht>hic<


weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
0 Replies
 
 

 
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