Highest forms of douchebaggery

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Last weekend I went camping up in the far land of Maine, near Bar Harbor.

While visiting the quaint town of BH, there were plenty of people driving around in their shiny SUV's, finally glad to make use of their 4WD roughing the tough roads of Maine.

One really stuck out. A Hummer H2 went by, and his license plate read "H-Two."

No sh!t, buddy. You drive a H2. Why make it redundant by putting it on your license plate along with the numerous badges on the sides and back of the vehicle displaying the model number?

Then I thought about all the other times I've seen people make their vanity plate tell us(other than the model name cleverly written all over the vehicle) what kind of car they're driving. And you know what? You never see it on a shitbox. You'll never see someone driving a Hyundai Accent with a plate that reads "Ax Cent."

I says to myself, "that right there...that's douchebaggery."

What are some other forms of douchebaggery stick out to you, where that person deserves to be openly mocked?

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Doesn't everything deserve to be openly mocked? Then you can really tell the douchebags... they're the ones that get pissed off.

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Quote:

Last weekend I went camping up in the far land of Maine, near Bar Harbor.

Given the title of the thread, I thought you were going to stop here.

Saw a midlife-crisis driving a Pontiac Solstice. WI license plate - SOLSTC. I thought to myself, "Whatta tool," but douchebag would've worked just fine.

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YEAH! back in the day when I drove an Abarth, my vainty plate read "JuJu 2"

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What, did you drive Kinky Friedman around or something?

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patiodog wrote:

What, did you drive Kinky Friedman around or something?

Of course not, I think Kinky is a jew.

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Speaking of cars, I hate the morons who think their car is so special they have to take up two parking spaces to protect it.

Whenever I see that, I take great pleasure in parking up alongside them reeeeal close. I'll even wait around as long as it takes so I can see the douchebags slide into their car through the passenger side.

Hey morons! If you're car's so special then park it at the end of the lot, far away from everyone else -- instead of taking up two spaces in prime parking lot real estate.

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dyslexia wrote:

patiodog wrote:
What, did you drive Kinky Friedman around or something?

Of course not, I think Kinky is a jew.

I think a Jew is kinky, but I'm not saying which one. Then you'll all want to sleep with her. I mean, him.

I'm very confused.

(who the hell is possum r fartbubble?)

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Possum R. Fartbubble = Italgato-Massgato-Mortkat-Chiczaria-Bernard and whatever the Hell else he has called himself . . .

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bluetooth headsets, once upon a time you could tell the crazy people from everybody else, they were the one's walking around talking to themselves

and personal ringtones that last more than a few seconds, if i want to listen to a song, i'll get an mp3 player

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Setanta wrote:

Possum R. Fartbubble = Italgato-Massgato-Mortkat-Chiczaria-Bernard and whatever the Hell else he has called himself . . .

that's a hell of a long memory.

what a douche.

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people who drive EXACTLY the speed limit in the passing lane.... there is no higher form....

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patiodog wrote:

Quote:
Last weekend I went camping up in the far land of Maine, near Bar Harbor.

Given the title of the thread, I thought you were going to stop here.

Going camping is douchebaggery? Don't know about that, but I was definitely a douchebag to go camping with. First time I've been since a kid, which means first time I had to actually help do things, like put the tent up and what not. I was a moron. Wasn't exactly roughing it though, there was a store right in the campground

People who pop their collars. Douchebags.

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BAr Harbor is where douchebags go to be with their kind. Next time come up to Washington County its "The Other State of MAine".

We did go down to the Skyline road on Mt Dessert/Acadia for the first annual "Maine Street Luge" run (It was held in 2000 as part of the Maine Y2K celebration). Lotsa shredded skin that day. It was outlawed the next year, by, who? DOUCHEBAGS FROM THE LOCAL TOWNS!!
Phuggers coulda just stayed home if they didnt like the look of blood on asphalt.

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See? The farmer knew I was talking about Bar Harbor. And I've never even been to Maine.

(Which, of course, makes me a douche.)

(Ditto polar bear. Holy crap ditto.)

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Peopl who wear their bluetooth cellphone earpiece as a fashion accessory. Should be legal to stab them.

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http://www.tinymeat.com/img/blog/douchebag.jpg

This is for people who go to 12 step groups and lose their identity to the "group" and from that time on are totally incapable of having a conversation that doesn't involve their sobriety or AA.

This includes the total strangers or casual acquaintances who have to announce to you in a restaurant that they aren't going to order a drink, because they're in AA.

Guess what douche bag? I wouldn't have noticed you didn't order one.

They are first cousins to people who are vegetarians and have to tell you within 5 minutes of meeting you. Also, same as above in a restaurant.

"uh....I really wasn't paying attention that you were ordering something without meat, so it's a good thing you told me."

ANNOUNCEMENT....You can go the rest of your life without eating meat or drinking, and 99.9% of the population would notice if you didn't bring it up.

You douchebag you.

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I don't think I've ever met someone that just brought up being in AA or a vegetarian.

Or maybe it's because I don't listen to half the things people say to me anyway.

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A friend of mine used to leave an inch or two of milk left in the gallon, let it curdle, then would pour the spoiled milk into the radiator vents (located just beneath the windshield wipers) of Hummers. A form of douchebaggery itself, not that I feel sorry for the Hummer owners.

Okay, this gets me--people who expect five star service at fast food restaurants. I was behind some bitch at Dunkin' Donuts the other day, and she incessantly reminded the poor girl behind the counter (who makes no money, by the way) that she wanted her iced coffee "extra light." Then she asked if the coffee is brewed hot before it is iced. The girl said yes, it is, and just as she was ringing the bitch up, the bitch says, "Then I dont' want it."

You're in ******* Dunkin' Donuts, bitch. You're not going to get gourmet anything. You're there to eat **** and get fat.

She'd probably order a Margarita at Taco Bell.

Highest forms of douchebaggery

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