Siblings and birth order

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Okay, I'm not sure if I put this under the right category.

I am the youngest of three siblings-- I have an older sister and brother and we are all within three years apart from one another.

I've had an on-and-off relationship with my sister for years. She's the first born. Here is the sibling drama: She is a drama queen, an extrovert, quite loud, often shrill.

I'm much more in the background and prefer to be reading than being at a party, etc. I'm convinced this has to do with the particulars of my family dynamic as well as our birth order.

What about you? Brothers? Sisters? Older, younger? How do you get along?

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You have just described my older sister perfectly, Gala! Evil or Very Mad

I think it's time us younger sisters & brothers got our revenge! Out of the background & fight for your rights, younger siblings! Laughing

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birth order does seem to have an effect on personality development.

child development

some interesting links from here if you want to explore

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I dunno..... I'm 3 of 4. The oldest is the one I work for. She knows what she wants and gets it, she is confident and hard-working. She can be dramatic, but so can I and our younger sister. She's definitely not shrill, she isn't extroverted, she isn't loud.....

My mother, however, fits the bill. She is the eldest of 5. She is shrill, dramatic, loud (in a movement way - she clangs dishes as she unloads the washer, drags chairs around instead of lifting them, etc), extroverted, center of attention loving.....

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Okay, which one of you is really my little sister, Karen?

Laughing

Yeah, I'm the firstborn, and I fit the type. I am NOT shrill, however. You just need to pay attention the first time I tell you something! And for Chrissake, put some makeup on, wouldya?

Oh great. There she goes, off to her room again. (Sigh.)

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Humm, I'm was the oldest daughter out of two....until my mother remarried when I was young, then came along an older step-brother, and a younger step-brother who lived with us full time..... So..I kinda play the older sibling, and have that middle child syndrome at times.

I can be dramatic, bossy,and loud at times, but not shrill. And I love to get my way....plus you have to take into account that I'm also a LEO.....which I fit the bill to a T......in that area. Uggh..yea...I can be hell on wheels!

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There is a systemic therapist in Germany - Bert Hellinger - who developed
a family constellation system. He calls it the "order of love". Among
expert, his therapy is quite controversy, but people who went to him
swear that he helped them understand the place they had in their own family and address hidden issues (older siblings taking advantage of
younger ones etc.).

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msolga wrote:

You have just described my older sister perfectly, Gala!
I think it's time us younger sisters & brothers got our revenge! Out of the background & fight for your rights, younger siblings!

That's a hoot. Is she shrill too? When ever my sister's voice goes up into the high octave range it amazes me. I am yet to meet anyone who can reach her level.

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dadpad wrote:

birth order does seem to have an effect on personality development.

child development

some interesting links from here if you want to explore

I looked at the article, thanks. In general, it's dead on-- my brother, the middle child does have a negative view on things. But, the part about the oldest sibling who will strive to be responsible is not my sister-- Although, she loved the perks that come with being oldest, she's never been very good at being supportive. So, when I have something troubling me, I don't talk to her about it.

little k wrote:

I dunno..... I'm 3 of 4. The oldest is the one I work for. She knows what she wants and gets it, she is confident and hard-working. She can be dramatic, but so can I and our younger sister. She's definitely not shrill, she isn't extroverted, she isn't loud.....

My mother, however, fits the bill. She is the eldest of 5. She is shrill, dramatic, loud (in a movement way - she clangs dishes as she unloads the washer, drags chairs around instead of lifting them, etc), extroverted, center of attention loving.....

I do think there are variations within the behaviors of the sibling order. If you wouldn't mind, I will trade your oldest sister for mine? your mother sounds like she's got a lot of energy.

Eva wrote:

Yeah, I'm the firstborn, and I fit the type. I am NOT shrill, however. You just need to pay attention the first time I tell you something! And for Chrissake, put some makeup on, wouldya?

Oh great. There she goes, off to her room again. (Sigh.)

I'm your little sister Karen! That's exactly what I would do when you start telling me what to do-- slinking away not because I'm shy, but to control my own temper.

makemeshiver33 wrote:

I can be dramatic, bossy,and loud at times, but not shrill. And I love to get my way....plus you have to take into account that I'm also a LEO.....which I fit the bill to a T......in that area. Uggh..yea...I can be hell on wheels!

I left that part out. Loves To Get Her Way. but really, it's more like-- Need to get her way. And, Bossssy. Whew!

CalamityJane wrote:

There is a systemic therapist in Germany - Bert Hellinger - who developed a family constellation system. He calls it the "order of love". Among expert, his therapy is quite controversy, but people who went to him swear that he helped them understand the place they had in their own family and address hidden issues (older siblings taking advantage of
younger ones etc.).

Interesting, thanks for providing the name. I'm going to look into it.

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Yeah, my mom has energy. Especially during prime time and at 2 am.

I just watched the Taming of the Shrew on the Boston Commons (part of a free summer shakespeare series for us lucky locals) - the shrew, you will recall, is the eldest of two sisters.

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Hmmm, if any one of the two of us (me and my sister) was to be the shrew, it would be me. She, while decisive, hard worker and go-getter, is also quieter than I am. she has a family, i do crazy theatre and travel the world. she is more rational, i'm more spontanneous. she's much better with money than i can ever dream of. if anything, she paved the road for me in our family. she's always been also very protective of me and has been my best friend ever since i can remember.
she's five years older and she's the best thing on this planet.

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Aw, Dag, that's so sweet! It's just how I feel about my older sister...... Rolling Eyes

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Riiiiiiight.

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<sigh>

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Sis and I (me on the left) one godzillion years ago...

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0RQDdAoATRopU52gy!Q3x6GmR9z0mqIgta1Z8oHGVdsGkT3S3Q8rspAonDqRAWcdrMA32k8CxGS4Bve5R9u7wErrPCqrrZb2PHNidjP1wtVQ/IMG_0312.JPG

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Gala wrote:

msolga wrote:
You have just described my older sister perfectly, Gala!
I think it's time us younger sisters & brothers got our revenge! Out of the background & fight for your rights, younger siblings!

That's a hoot. Is she shrill too? When ever my sister's voice goes up into the high octave range it amazes me. I am yet to meet anyone who can reach her level.

Oh, I'm not so bitter now. <sniff>
But when I was growing up! Momma mia! She was the most insensitive, bullying, loud-mouthed clod! It was awful to be the younger, more "sensitive" one! But I figured I'd pay her back when I grew up! Twisted Evil

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I have 1 older brother.He has become more adventurous and confident but used to be quite shy in his teen years.
I am very shy but Im bursting to be confident.I dont feel like my brother has affected my personality negatively.Yes I wish i could be as outgoing as him but I dont think my shyness has anything to do with my brother being more bold.
We have a great comedic partnership and same sense of humour so we get on well.

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In my family it is brother, sister, sister, me.

That birth order personality chart doesn't fit us much.

Brother is the funniest and most easy-going, certainly the most tolerant and open minded. He's a General in the Army. (Doesn't that sound like a contradiction?)

Sister 1 is the perfectionist. She's very take charge, the go-to girl for information and resolving conflicts. She's an investment banker.

Sister 2 is the drama-queen "artiste". Very mercurial, a diva. I'd have to call her to find out what she is this week.

I guess I'm the diplomat because I get along with each and every one of them wonderfully - as long as it is one at a time because they don't all get along with each other very well. During various points in my life I have been lucky to consider each of them my best friend.

Thank heavens there is not a shrill one in the bunch.

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dagmaraka wrote:

Hmmm, if any one of the two of us (me and my sister) was to be the shrew, it would be me. She, while decisive, hard worker and go-getter, is also quieter than I am. she has a family, i do crazy theatre and travel the world. she is more rational, i'm more spontanneous. she's much better with money than i can ever dream of. if anything, she paved the road for me in our family. she's always been also very protective of me and has been my best friend ever since i can remember.
she's five years older and she's the best thing on this planet.

How wonderful. Lucky you are.

little k wrote:

Aw, Dag, that's so sweet! It's just how I feel about my older sister......

You too lil' k.

msolga wrote:

Oh, I'm not so bitter now. <sniff>
But when I was growing up! Momma mia! She was the most insensitive, bullying, loud-mouthed clod! It was awful to be the younger, more "sensitive" one!

Part of the problem of being the youngest tot of an older sibling is they are your whole world. The unpredictablity of a sibling who can go from one moment nasty to the rare, very rare moment of being kind. Eeesh, thank goodness those days are long gone.

boomerang wrote:

Thank heavens there is not a shrill one in the bunch.

If only, if only...

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I'm the youngest of four. We referred to my oldest sister as "Your Highness", complete with deep bow, while growing up. Next in line is my brother, the only boy of the group and independent in his own way. The sister above me in age is the classic middle child - never quite figuring out where she fit in the grand scheme of things. As the baby, I was supposedly spoiled rotten (according to my siblings) but I think it was more a function of exhaustion on the part of my parents than wanting to give me any special favors.

I'm married to the first-born of a first-born. I see the same regal qualities in both of them that I saw in my eldest sister. My first-born daughter has aires as well. She sometimes has disagreement with her father and I try to explain to her that the King and the Princess have a certain pecking order and she has to bide her time before she graduates to Queen.

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