Reply
Tue 27 Jun, 2006 07:55 pm
If this message reaches you it's only because I used a super-ultra stealth secret code passway matrix to smuggle it out through.
I hope it does.
You've got to help me.
This evil-looking weirdly framefaced gang of evil-looking weirdly framefaced gangsters have kidnapped me and are now holding me hostage.
They've somehow found out I posted here, and because my initials (N.I.M.H.) mean "Man who holds Secret Key to Forum of wisdom" in their language (which sounds vaguely like Arabic on acid), they think I know the secret key to Able2Know's universally (literally, apparently) renowned store of insight and knowledge.
I've so far not mentioned Craven's name.
But I dont know if I can hold on. They are putting harsh pressure on me. (They are also threatening to send Shewolf the pictures of said harsh pressure).
They want me to talk, or alternatively, if I won't, they want $200,000 for my safe release.
I already told them that y'all were poor and didn't have that kind of money. (I havent told them about The Prince.)
Please talk to them. Do something.
Tell them not to kill me.
I am relying on you.. If you never hear from me again, I love you all.
(And Chai Tea, I didn't mean it, about those, eh, kittens.)
Bless.
Got to leave that pipe alone!
What country were they from?
Isn't this the second or third time this has happened??
Where did all these empty bottles come from?
And these crumpled World Cup party hats??
Is this the best excuse for missing work you can come up with?
Give us your bosses' phone number. We'll call him with a good one.
Joe(.....hmmm, got to be believable)Nation
Joe Nation wrote:Give us your bosses' phone number.
Unhhuh... that's what they say too. Except theyve got more interesting gadgets.
(Reyn, they're
aliens! But they look exactly like Gus, but younger.)
What is the contact number of their leader?
You just tell them that if they don't let you go home right now I'm going to call their mother.
Cheryl XcrptxzmK and I play bridge every Thursday afternoon, and she can't afford to have any more stories circulating about those boys of hers around the club.
You remind them how angry she'll be if she's kicked off the Mid Summers Night Dream Barbeque Committee because of them.
You just tell them that if they don't let you go home right now I'm going to call their mother.
Cheryl XcrptxzmK and I play bridge every Thursday afternoon, and she can't afford to have any more stories circulating about those boys of hers around the club.
You remind them how angry she'll be if she's kicked off the Mid Summers Night Dream Barbeque Committee because of them.
bitch, bitch, bitch, that's all we hear from you nimh. Go to your room and don't come out until you can play nice.
I think, dys, that's where he is - but someone should shut down his computer!
dlowan wrote:What is the contact number of their leader?
They use their extrasensory communication detection hotkeys to pick up on anything said on this forum. But hurry!
Sorry, nimh. You know it's the old "we don't negotiate with terrorists" and all. Just do what they say and eventually they will get bored and let you go.
nimh wrote:dlowan wrote:What is the contact number of their leader?
They use their extrasensory communication detection hotkeys to pick up on anything said on this forum. But hurry!
Ok.
GIVE NIMH BACK, YOU EEJITS!
HE'S HARMLESS!
WE NEED HIM......HE'S ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NUTS ENOUGH TO DO THE RESEARCH TO REFUTE THE MAUNDERINGS OF THE FAR RIGHT!!!!!
Ever read The Ransom of Red Chief? . . .
. . . all of my sympathy goes out to the alien terrorists . . .
Oh...and:
YOU BASTARDS GOT HIS ADDRESS FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES, DIDN'T YOU? (everyone knows terrorists never read the Wall Street Journal)
Actually, they did. They're reading the NYT here every day. All day. And then read the Maureen Dowd and Thomas Friedman columns to me, ad infinitum. Its part of their sophisticated torture techniques. The US soldiers should try it.
Swimpy wrote:Just do what they say and eventually they will get bored and let you go.
I dont think they easily get bored... (see above)
Also, theyve said that if they do ever get bored, theyll chop off my head for kicks. So please, keep talking to 'em! My life may depend on it! Do it for the flashing green letters!
I have been meaning to have a serious word with you about that goddamm avatar....
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace