Here are some church announcements:
Tuesday at 4 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, come early.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Thursday at 5 pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers. All those wishing to become little mothers, please meet the pastor in his study.
The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoons.
A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.
Real C&W Song Titles:
If you see me getting smaller, it's cause I'm leavin' you
If heartaches were wine (I'd be drunk all the time)
If you can't feel it (it ain't there)
Get your tongue outta my mouth 'cause I'm kissing you goodbye
I don't know whether to kill myself or go bowling
If fingerprints wooed up on skin, wonder whose I'd find on you
I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart
He's been drunk since his wife's gone punk
I'll marry you tomorrow but let's honeymoon tonight
You stuck my heart in an old tin can and shot it off a log
It ain't love, but it ain't bad
Mama get the hammer (there's a fly on papa's head)
You're the reason our kids are so ugly