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I need to get out more (or maybe not).

 
 
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 06:44 pm
I recieved a coupon book from Costco in the mail today. One item on sale was called "Uncrustables".

What, I wondered, are "Uncrustables".

It turns out that these are frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that do not have a crust. The catch, it seems, is that they have to thaw 40-60 minutes (according to the "Uncrustables" web site.

How did people live without this product! I wondered.

I learned that this product is not really so new so it must be profitable for the company.

BUT HOW!?

Can you nominate a more unusual product for the useless hall of fame?

Shall we devise something even less useful?

Can we develop a marketing plan for said useless product?

(I'm thinking my nickle slot/recycling boxes are looking better and better.)

Ready?

Steady.

Go!
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 3,657 • Replies: 51
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blacksmithn
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 06:56 pm
Since we're on the subject of food, how about that peanut butter with the jelly swirled into it-- because God forbid you have to apply them separately to the bread.
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tin sword arthur
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 06:58 pm
I've often found myself wondering how long it would be before someone started marketing plastic liners for boxes. Just a bag, like what you would put in your wastebasket, but resized to fit cardboard boxes. Different sizes of bags, of course, but the same idea. If you use a box to store or move anything with a liquid in it, or that may spill and soften the box so it breaks, the plastic liner would catch it. Same with anything small that may fall between the folds in the box and fall out.
But that's just me.
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farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 07:04 pm
The bloomin onion machine.
Kitchen barbeque grilles incorporated onto one of these 900 burner stoves (evertone Ive seen costs a gazillion bucks and is used once .by the design victim.

Bread makers

pizelli makers

ON the other hand, one kitchen appliance that we love is the apple peeler/corer/slicer gizmo. This little device can turn whole apples into pie chunks in a few moments.

Most cherry potters dont work well.


Note: does anybody actually peel asparagus like Julia Child used to recommend??
0 Replies
 
tin sword arthur
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 07:08 pm
Oh, are we talking about existing products?
Okay, then the entire Martha Stewart line.
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djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 07:28 pm
farmerman wrote:
Most cherry potters dont work well.


wait, isn't cherry potter that child wizard
0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 07:29 pm
now that i think about it it's probably his sister
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 07:29 pm
Well at least that mixed PBJ doesn't require an hour to defrost but you're right - how ridiculous. I have to have St. Dalfour's jelly anyway so that is a total no go for me.

What is a "pizelli" maker?

I use my bread maker on the "dough" function quite a bit but I don't bake in it because I hate that square loaf. Typically I like the whole kneading thing but sometimes life doesn't accomodate my aggression towards flour.

A blooming onion machine? A machine? For real? What the heck does that do?

Arthur you are completely welcome to make up new products - that was part of the invitation! The fact that I don't completely understand your no spill/box moving/baggie deal makes it a perfect product for us to endorse.

I don't typically move liquids in boxes but I'm betting we can revolutionize the industry!

Mr. B could use "saftey bags" for any item that comes in a box or bag though - he ends up ripping the whole thing up trying to get it open. Perhaps if there was some kind of safety bag we would not end up with so much stale cereal and chips.

Could this idea be modified to account for dry goods?
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Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 07:35 pm
That dial thing people put on the front of dishwashers that says

CLEAN/ DIRTY


If the dishs are clean, take them OUT OF THE (sorry) dishwasher and then you can put dirty ones in it. Using the clean dishs out of the dishwasher makes everyone using them put the dirty ones in the SINK or elsewhere when there is a perfectly good spot to put dirty dishes...



ahem. the dishwasher.


When I explain this to people who use the CLEAN/DIRTY dial they look at me as if I am a visiting Martian.

Joe(Nanoo Nanoo)Nation
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 07:44 pm
forget what it's called, the incredible pasta pot or something...where you tip the pot and only the water comes out.

yeah, I guess pouring it into a colander, or having one of those pots where the colander nests in the pot is just too much work....

Now I see something that just a plastic tubey thing that you put the spaghetti in, pour boiling water on top leave it alone, and presto! disgusting gunky pasta!

How much more freaking easy can cooking get than boiling water, salt and macaroni?

Jesus take me now.
0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 07:58 pm
i actually have a pasta pot with a collander type lid, it's quite handy, the lid is half solid and half collander, you cook the pasta like normal, pop the lid on and drain away

never heard of the plastic tube thing
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Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2006 08:27 pm
You gotta start watching more late night tv.


How about the gadget that makes ONE hamburger?

One of my former wives and I got that as a wedding gift.

JOe( Must have known something.)Nation
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farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2006 05:05 am
hamburger for one. Theres a message that says "I give this marriage but a few months"

So, how'd it go?
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2006 05:11 am
I meant a CHERRY PITTER( they dont work well)

boom, a pizelli is an italian cookie , it looks like a little sewer cap.

Bloomin onion makers are a combination cutter, like a vegematic and then a ssmal deep fryer. (Lotta **** gets dirty for little result. It is a true chochkie
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2006 06:35 am
farmerman wrote:
hamburger for one. Theres a message that says "I give this marriage but a few months"

So, how'd it go?


She ran off with my best friend and left me with the two kids.


Hey, you know what is a really useless luxury item? The wedding ring. There's a chochkie for you, a piece of thread would work as well.

The money could be put in a nice index market fund and pay off nicely (or on some other more important item-see below**). If anyone ever got confused as to your marital status you could use your memories of events past to correct them. Hopefully before waking up the next morning in Room 624 of the Hilton. (uh, what was your name again?)

Joe(**As a friend of mine used to say "She wearing my bass boat on her third finger.")Nation
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2006 06:48 am
Chai Tea wrote:
Jesus take me now.

You wish.. he pretty good I hear.

farmerman wrote:
hamburger for one. Theres a message that says "I give this marriage but a few months"

Laughing
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2006 06:51 am
"A toe straightener"

I kid you not I saw it advertised in the guide dogs for the blind catalog.
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2006 06:57 am
Whose toes are being straightened and why?
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2006 07:09 am
I dont know joe I justsaw a big toe straigner advertised.

I noticed you didn't put in your usual sig line.

dad(just helping out)pad
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2006 07:28 am
I was excited and curious.

Joe(and careless)Nation
0 Replies
 
 

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