funny guitar or music quotes

I don't whether this qualifies as a quote, but...

What does it mean when a guitarist is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.

Of course, if a guitarist was saying this, he'd probably apply it to a drummer.

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.


Quote-If music be teh food of love, play on.

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
Oscar Wilde

tee hee hee..... a drummer.

what about ....

I played guitar for 5 years before I relised it wasn't a weapon

"We didn't have any instruments, so I had to use my guitar." - Mother Maybelle Carter

tee hee hee

This is my signature..
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There are two kinds of music. Good music, and the other kind.
- Duke Ellington
(Source unknown: If you know a source please let me know.)
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Could anybody tell a source?

The source doesn't seem to be Duke Ellington. These are his quotes.

QUOTES

By Duke Ellington

"My biggest kick in music - playing or writing - is when I have a problem. Without a problem to solve, how much interest do you take in anything."

"A problem is a chance for you to do your best."

"I'm a telephone freak, the greatest invention since peanut brittle."

"I like any and all of my associations with music - writing, playing, and listening. We write and play from our perspective, and the audience listens from its perspective. If and when we agree, I am lucky."

"I am not a teacher."

"I'm the world's worst disciplinarian. There's too much responsibility in being a leader! You have to have the dignity and authority of a leader, and that's all so heavy!"

"I live with music."

"A man is a god in ruins."

"Art is dangerous. It is one of the attractions: when it ceases to be dangerous you don't want it."

"By and large, jazz has always been like the kind of a man you wouldn't want your daughter to associate with."

"Critics have their purposes, and they're supposed to do what they do, but sometimes they get a little carried away with what they think someone should have done, rather than concerning themselves with what they did."

"Fate is being kind to me. Fate doesn't want me to be too famous too young."

"Gray skies are just clouds passing over."

"I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues."

"Love is indescribable and unconditional. I could tell you a thousand things that it is not, but not one that it is. Either you have it or you haven't; there's no proof of it."

"It's like an act or murder; you play with intent to commit something."

"Love is supreme and unconditional; like is nice but limited."

"My attitude is never to be satisfied, never enough, never."

"Now I can say loudly and openly what I have been saying to myself on my knees."

"Playing 'bop' is like playing Scrabble with all the vowels missing."

"Roaming through the jungle of 'oohs' and 'ahs,' searching for a more agreeable noise, I live a life of primitively with the mind of a child and an unquenchable thirst for sharps and flats."

"The wise musicians are those who play what they can master."

"There is hardly any money interest in art, and music will be there when money is gone."

"You've got to find some way of saying it, without saying it."

"I don't pursue anything. The only thing I always answer is my own impulse."

"I don't believe in categories of any kind, and when you speak of problems between blacks and whites in the U.S.A. you are referring to categories again."

"Self-discipline, as a virtue or an acquired asset, can be invaluable to anyone."

"I am a bandleader and I am a composer."

"There is no art when one does something without intention."