ANYBODY GOT A CHURCH KEY ?

Don't mind me. Just sittin in the corner, whittlin, with my Old Timers knife. I got a corncob pipe in my pocket, but I just keep it for sentiment. Don't smoke it anymore.

I smoke way too many cigarettes, that's for sure--but nothing gets me to chain smokin' like a visit to the doctor or the dentist. Why, if i have to wait too long, i fill up the ashtray in the waiting room . . .

ashtray? whats...an....ashtray?

it's like a spittoon. one of them urban inventions.

I gotta hood ornament from my dad's 1967 Oldsmobile 98 . Back then they made hood ornaments that were designed to skewer. Tht car had a very beautiful sculpted metal dashboard with chrome trim and wood inlay. Ifn you ever splatted yourself in an accident, theyd just peel you off the dash and thencars good as new.


Know what I can do with this can of ethylated lead gasoline? and this bottle of Phisohex ?

I gotta Vegamatic from Ron Popeil and we can chop up a salad or some kindling, whatever.

I fail to understand why you do not use the dunny in the yard like everyone else.

The active ingredient in pHisohex is hexachlorophne, a powerful antiseptic, but an inevitable part of the manufacturing process leaves residual amounts of dioxin which can be absorbed through the skin, so pHisohex is now only used in hospitals and Ipana toothpaste has vanished.


This thread is like a wish list at the gadget store, except for a ?'Vegamatic', that belongs to science fiction.

Ya'll gonna go downtown to watch the parade?

And my high-beams are sticking. Can one of ya'll get on the floor-board and check out the switch?

my 8 track is spoolin out under the dash board.

We hadda take my little cousin marky to the hospital after he got hurt in a lawn dart battle

I was going to play some croquet with the kids, but some idiot left these wires all over the place and I tripped on one.

Farmerman wrote, "We hadda take my little cousin marky to the hospital after he got hurt in a lawn dart battle"

I'm sorry to herd that, I hope the little dude git's better reel soon.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After a recent serious injury caused by a lawn dart, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission reissued its warning that lawn darts are banned and should be destroyed. Effective on December 19, 1988, CPSC banned the sale of all lawn darts in the United States. Pointed lawn darts, intended for use in an outdoor game, have been responsible for the deaths of three children.

"CPSC banned lawn darts in 1988, but some of these dangerous products may still be in garages, basements, or second-hand stores," said CPSC Chairman Ann Brown. "Parents should destroy these banned lawn darts immediately."

You shudda take care.

DD, what time is the parade all at?

Well, I don't rightly know. The President's motorcade could come by any time.

Damn proud of that man for facin' down those commies!

You know, my cousin Floyd, from over the mountain . . . he got one a them rabbit-ear thingies you can get for yer tee-vee, and now he can pick up that new network . . . uhm . . . ABC, that's it . . . imagine that, three channels . . .

My cousin has rabbit ears, too. He's got coat hangers and other forms of wire attached to it all over the room, practically.

Just finished rinsing off the white walls on my two tone, blue over white, two door Ford. Now my baby and me are buzzing the four-land with the latest and greatest coming off that cherrystone radio and the HydroCruise transmission leaves my right arm free to snugglebunny up my honey.

"Oh, man, they're playing Sha'boom".

A right turn exit takes us in the back way to town past the duckpin bowling ally and the Esso gas station. (Get A Free Glass With a Fill-up) 31 9/10 a gallon. The mob is at the new place for shakes checking it out and we are meeting up there.

Baby looks good in her Toni waves and I've got enough Brylcreem in my DA to grease the New Haven and Hartford Railyards. Twice. We bang into the parking lot of the 'McDonalds' which is a crazy name for a hamburger joint and slide up besides a mint green Chevy. It's got it's windows rolled down and WDRC is blasting "Diana".
Baby rolls the dial over and soon we are sending the sounds of Sedaka and his heartbreak out over the asphalt too.

There is a very cool looking chick in the Chevy's driver's seat, got that poofy flipped out hair thing happening and her girlfriend's not bad neither, natch, pink lipstick sends me, man.

Hey, gotta split. There's a rumor of a rumble happening down behind the A&P and I promised my boys I'd be there or be square.

Joe(later gator)Nation

Set wrote, "You know, my cousin Floyd, from over the mountain"

We sure do know that varmint; cos ole Ran'l thought he spotted one of his pigs being stolen by one of his wife's Hatfield relatives - Floyd Hatfield.

BTW; yer tee-vee will never catch on, Bubba went an told me so.


DD wrote, (iffin it can be called writin) "Damn proud of that man for facin' down those commies! "

?'those'! THEM is the korrect usage, lessen you is a damn yankee.


Thank you native American Joe(cree)Nation for your view of the future.