What are toe-nails for?

then i root for the argument about the nailpolish!

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What are toe nails four? I've got five (one at the end of each toe, I counted honest).

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http://www.authorsden.com/PoetryImage/147179.jpg

My heart begin to sink
There are some huge toenails in my kitchen sink

I picked one up and it started to blink
It had little eyes, and it started to wink

I ask the little toenail if it could talk
It said no, but it could walk.

I said toenail, how did you say no, you could
walk if you can't talk?

How did you get here?
Toenail, did you come from a cow or a chicken?

Well she did eat as if it was finger licken.

She was having herself a treat
She chewed and chewed and thought it taste so neat
Then she spit me out of her hamburger meat.

I'm really not any wiser, but
The cows and chickens turned into fertilizer

I thought to myself, such a pity,
so I saved all the toenails and developed a Toenail City.

© 10/19/05
Copyright
Ron Axelson

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I once broke up with a guy for leaving his toenail clippings on my kitchen table. Yes, he clipped his toenails right there on my kitchen table! I even hate the sound of the clippers.

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eeewwwwww. i hate it, too.
some people do it on a bus. happened more than once on a bus or train from boston to nyc. probably just nails, but still....blech. it should be banned and punishable harshly by law.

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I also got into a spat on a commute when a guy wouldn't stop clipping his (finger)nails on the train. It was driving me nuts so, after he refused to stop when I asked (smug b'std), and we arrived at another stop, the train door opened, I snatched the clippers out of his hand and threw it out the door. I was, of course, thrown off the train but the driver refused to call the cops on me, much to the chagrin of clipper-man who wanted me arrested for stealing his property.

I find clipping nails in public the height of bad manners and am so enraged that thoughts of killing the clipper slowly with the clippers itself float in front of my eyes. Out with the green .... in with the peach ...

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Heeven wrote:

I snatched the clippers out of his hand and threw it out the door....

Haha -- is this oral tradition or a real story?

Toenails are the remnants of what were once our evolutionary claws.

As a non-violent person I paint them a happy shade of pink (or peach) as a kind of peace sign. When I paint them red... watch out!

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Piffka wrote:

Haha -- is this oral tradition or a real story?

Real Story.

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You wild thing, you!!

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Heeven wrote:

I also got into a spat on a commute when a guy wouldn't stop clipping his (finger)nails on the train. It was driving me nuts so, after he refused to stop when I asked (smug b'std), and we arrived at another stop, the train door opened, I snatched the clippers out of his hand and threw it out the door. I was, of course, thrown off the train but the driver refused to call the cops on me, much to the chagrin of clipper-man who wanted me arrested for stealing his property.

I find clipping nails in public the height of bad manners and am so enraged that thoughts of killing the clipper slowly with the clippers itself float in front of my eyes. Out with the green .... in with the peach ...

Respect

What about discretely biting them?

chewing to a pulp

then spitting bits at the window

?

dont tell me, they're all dead Laughing

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This is where my fabulous willpower comes into play. I repeat my mantra "don't hurt him/her, they'll get theirs one-day" and I wish for a hex on their head or at the very least a urinary disease where it feels like hot stabbing pins of pain when they have to pee.

Yes, I am really the essence of calm ... <<checking heartrate>> it's okay ... finding that good place.

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What are toenails for?

Save your clippings in a jar and, when the time is right, sprinkle them over a hot fudge sundae or other delicious homemade ice cream treat.

One bite and you'll know exactly what they're for.

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Is that some kind of weird voodoo ritual, Gargamel?

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It can be, if done properly.

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voooooodooooooo

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Good point.

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or on pointe.

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Heeven wrote:

I also got into a spat on a commute when a guy wouldn't stop clipping his (finger)nails on the train. It was driving me nuts so, after he refused to stop when I asked (smug b'std), and we arrived at another stop, the train door opened, I snatched the clippers out of his hand and threw it out the door. I was, of course, thrown off the train but the driver refused to call the cops on me, much to the chagrin of clipper-man who wanted me arrested for stealing his property.

I find clipping nails in public the height of bad manners and am so enraged that thoughts of killing the clipper slowly with the clippers itself float in front of my eyes. Out with the green .... in with the peach ...

Ooooh, Heeven, you are my hero as of now. I usually just try the death stare, or the look of disgust and chagrin. But that more often doesn't work then it does. I'm glad to encounter a kindred spirit. Now I just have to find a kindred spirit in battling plastic bags, and masticating. Anything else? Oh yes, annoying grooming habbits - like constantly pulling on one's beard and mustache, or touching and scratching one's hair non-stop. it's a good thing i'm not a baseball player, for if i had that bat with me in public transportation...man oh man...

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how about cleaning nails? some women (much less often, but also some men) will pick the grime out from under the fingernails, roll it between fingers and then plop, send it to the floor.... wtf? why do i have to look at that? and then imagine it crawling all around me. it's just not nice. no.

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No, it's the clicking noise when they are picking at their nails. Are they effing deaf? Can't anyone hear that annoying sound? Sigh. Maybe I'm just impossible to please. I'd love to have the nerve to hock a loogie, fart, belch and snot in front of someone just so they know how disgusting it is from the other side of the coin. Wanna sit beside me on the train?

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/mittelgrosse/medium-smiley-125.gif

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What are toe-nails for?

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