There always is a 'good' excuse for us to debt.

Written for a Debtors Anonymous Group



(...) writes:
i checked my online bank balance and discovered
that one of my checking accounts was overdrawn by
3.69-grrr! the frustrating thing is that i could have
prevented this.

V writes:

Yes, you CAN prevent this by using cushions as buffers against debting and errors. I discussed this concept in my post on checking accounts and cushions.


Here is how I handle my checking account.


1) I write out checks once a month on the 30th. (It used to be 15th and 30th, but I simplified it even more.)

We have to realize that if we write out 15 checks a month and have debit card activity connected to the checking account for an additional 15 times a month, then the margin for error is very great for mistakes to be made. We have 30 chances each month to make an error with this example. Even if we are perfect in our accounting for many months, sooner or later we will make an error since we are all human. All it take is one mistake to run up hundreds of dollars in bank fees as well as demoralize our self worth and program. Hell, I'd screw up too if I did it that way and had 30 chances every month to make an error. In fact, I'd probably be worse that most of you beating yourselves for check writing problems. But, I have the clarity to know that this complex system that provides much chance for error is not for me. With my simple system I have 1 or 2 chances a month to screw up and that is how I like it...simplicity!

2) All bills are paid by check - no auto pays from checking.

If I do want auto pay, then it is by secured credit card or savings account only, so I get advanced warning and no surprises. I have to have control and clarity of it all when it comes to checking acct. No scapegoats, no one else to blame. I don't use a debit card connected to the checking account...too complex for me. Any debit card must be connected with my savings account.

3) Super simplified check balancing...I don't.

I keep a $500 minimum balance. If I write out $2215 in checks on the 30th, I transfer $2215 from saving to checking. When the statement arrives, it always reads $500 or more min balance. If it doesn't, then someone has screwed up in their accounting. Doing it this way is not that much different from taking the $2215 and going to buy money orders with the money, the only difference is I am buying checks from myself with the money. I double check everything and then put a check mark next to the figure to verify it has been double checked in my check recording ledger.

Been using this same system for over a decade and am very happy with it. Have not bounced a check since the 1970's, but check bouncing was never a problem area for me to start with. I don't enjoy the tedium of paying bills, so I have delegated this job to occupy my mind for only one day out of the month. I also have to maintain a bill paying cushion to pay the bills this way, irrespective of whether it is a payday or not. I maintain $2500 in this bill paying contingency fund. I also work on being mindful of what I am doing. When I pay bills, I pay the bills at the desk. I used to do it watching TV, so I try to keep distractions to a minimum.


(...) writes:

the greater concern is
that last week for the first time since August I used
my credit card. OK-so I have been holding out on
confessing this-but i used it to buy my kids hats and gloves b/c
we struck by a huge cold front last week and i
couldn't stand the thought of them going without
something for their care. could i have planned for
this? yes, but i didn't. i'm just one big stinking mess of debt right
now! feel like i've let down my HP, this group and
myself, not to mention my beautiful children, who need
to have a sane solvent mom. any EHS would be appreciated.
be tough if you need to, i probably need it:)



V writes:

There always is a 'good' excuse for us to debt. Living a life of debt is our natural way. As debtors, the question we have to ask ourselves is how we can live and NOT debt? You have to be tough on yourself, it is not our job to force you to not debt. Toughness wont work, no one can force you not to debt other than you. Gloves and hats for kids is not out of the question, but either you can afford something solvently or not. That is the bottom line question. The credit card, unsecured debt, borrowing are all tell tale signs of debting behavior. If you could not afford something and had to use a credit card I would have checked out a thrift store or some charity. If I planed poorly, then I must accept the consequences. If you want to keep a credit card, get a secured credit card or debit card and live within your secured budget. No need to feel guilty then. Today is a new day, so you have another chance to get back on target, but eventually our chances dwindle as Thoreau tell us.

From Walden:

"Some of you, we all know, are poor, find it hard to live, are - sometimes, as it were, gasping for breath. I have no doubt that some of you who read this book are unable to pay for all the dinners which you have actually eaten, or for the coats and shoes which are fast wearing or are already worn out, and have come to this page to spend borrowed or stolen time, robbing your creditors of an hour. It is very evident what mean and sneaking lives many of you live, for my sight has been whetted by the experience of others; always living on the limits, trying to get into business and trying to get out of debt, a very ancient slough, called by the Latin - 'Res Alienum' or 'another's brass' for some of their coins were made of brass. Living, seeking to curry favors, lying, dying, and buried by 'other's brass'; always promising to pay, promising to pay, tomorrow, and dying today insolvent."

Accepting step one is the foundation to finding recovery. I see many addicts in different recovery areas wanting recovery but still not accepting powerlessness over the addiction. One recent example comes to mind. On a Debtors Anonymous list a person writes in: "I'd rather accumulate more debt than have my phone shut off. I need to change my thinking."

This is how it is with many addicts. A refusal to live within their comfortable means and a refusal to accept and practice Step 1. We are still playing god with debt, alcohol, food, drugs, gambling, sex, clutter, etc. The turning point with step 1 is when we would rather "accumulate recovery" instead of accumulate more addiction, then we have turned the corner. It is so easy to live outside our means and "charge it" to some later day. We start small and end up big...in big debts. Part of the problem is that the right choices might be distasteful to our ego, so we go with what the ego likes. Other times we have not hit a low enough bottom to wake us up with a jolt of pain. Many of us let our mouth or brain dictate our tastes to us, but as it has tuned out these tastes have hurt us in the long run. Yes, as this person pointed out we need to change our thinking. We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that we used when we created them. One thing about being powerless? We are only powerless when we have no recovery program and our addiction works us on its terms. Once we have recovery program, we have the power to work the addiction on the programs terms and the addiction can stop working us ion its terms.

When I first started with online recovery almost 8 years ago I did not write such posts as the ones I do now. Back then, my posts were just the opposite of what they are now. But, as I cleaned up the wreckage, I was able to write about positive aspects of recovery as I now do. I found I had more time to do such things, once my life was not being consumed by my addictions any longer. My brain worked better as well when it was not occupied with all that mess. The ability to be rational is missing from the addicts tool bag for living a balanced life. Any wonder why? The addicts brain is occupied with so many other problems there is little room left for rational thought.

3 Components of Rationality

1 - Rationality requires reflection.

2- Rationality is the ability to anticipate consequences

3 - Rationality requires adherence to certain standards.


Good luck,