Momma said that aint no way to have fun!

This thread feels quite lonely.

Just me & Randy!

OK! I'll just entertain myself, then! <sniff>

I like this one. Done in R N's best sleazy manner!:

You Can Leave Your Hat On

Baby
take off your coat
real slow.
Take off your shoes
I'U. take off your shoes.
Baby
take off your dress
yes
yes
yes.
You can leave your hat on -
You can leave your hat on -
You can leave your hat on.
Go on over there
turn on the light
no
all the lights.

Come over here
stand on that chair
yeah
that's right.
Raise your arms in the air
now shake 'em.
you give me reason to live - you give me reason to live -
you give me reason to live - you give me reason to live.

Sweet darling - you can leave your hat on -
You can leave your hat on
baby - you can leave your hat on -
You can leave your hat on - you can leave your hat on -
You can leave your hat on.

Suspicious minds are talkin'
they're tryin' to tear us apart !
They don't believe that it is love of mine -
They don't know what love is - they don't know what love is -
They don't know what love is - they don't know what love is -
I know what love is !

There ain't no way - you can leave your hat on -
You can leave your hat on - you can leave your hat on -
Give me the reason to live - you can leave your hat on!

~

Old Man

Everyone has gone away
Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
No one cared enough to stay
Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
You must remember the old man
I know that you can if you try
So just open up your eyes old man
Look who's come to say goodbye


The sun has left the sky old man
The birds have flown away
And no one came to cry old man
Goodbye old man goodbye

You want to stay I know you do
But it ain't no use to try
'Cause I'll be here-and I'm just like you
Goodbye, old man, goodbye


Won't be no God to comfort you
You taught me not to believe that lie
You don't need anybody
Nobody needs you
Don't cry, old man, don't cry
Everybody dies

~

There's a red moon rising
On the cuyahoga river
Rolling into cleveland to the lake

There's a red moon rising
On the cuyahoga river
Rolling into cleveland to the lake

There's an oil barge winding
Down the cuyahoga river
Rolling into cleveland to the lake

There's an oil barge winding
Down the cuyahoga river
Rolling into cleveland to the lake

Cleveland, city of light, city of magic
Cleveland, city of light, you're calling me
Cleveland, even now I can remember
'cause the cuyahoga river
Goes smokin' through my dreams

Burn on, big river, burn on
Burn on, big river, burn on
Now the lord can make you tumble
And the lord can make you turn
And the lord can make you overflow
But the lord can't make you burn

Burn on, big river, burn on
Burn on, big river, burn on

~

God's Song (that's why I love mankind)

Cain slew Abel, Seth knew not why
For if the children of Israel were to multiply
Why must any of the children die?
So he asked the Lord
And the Lord said:

Man means nothing, he means less to me
Than the lowliest cactus flower
Or the humblest Yucca tree
He chases round this desert
'Cause he thinks that's where I'll be
That's why I love mankind

I recoil in horror fro the foulness of thee
From the squalor and the filth and the misery
How we laugh up here in heaven at the prayers you offer me
That's why I love mankind

The Christians and the Jews were having a jamboree
The Buddhists and the Hindus joined on satellite TV
They picked their four greatest priests
And they began to speak
They said, "Lord, a plague is on the world
Lord, no man is free
The temples that we built to you
Have tumbled into the sea
Lord, if you won't take care of us
Won't you please, please let us be?"
And the Lord said
And the Lord said

I burn down your cities-how blind you must be
I take from you your children and you say how blessed are we
You all must be crazy to put your faith in me
That's why I love mankind
You really need me
That's why I love mankind

~

Memo To My Son

What have you done to the mirror?
What have you done to the floor?
Can't I go nowhere without you?
Can't I leave you alone any more?

I know you don't think much of me
But someday you'll understand
Wait'll you learn how to talk, baby
I'll show you how smart I am

A quitter never wins
A winner never quits
When the going gets tough
The tough get going

Maybe you don't know how to walk, baby
Maybe you can't talk none either
Maybe you never will, baby
But I'll always love you
I'll always love you

~

I'll chip in. This is pretty good song writing here:


Broken windows and empty hallways
A pale dead moon in the sky streaked with gray
Human kindness is overflowing
And I think it's going to rain today

Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles
With frozen smiles to chase love away
Human kindness is overflowing
And I think it's going to rain today

Lonely, lonely
Tin can at my feet
Think I'll kick it down the street
That's the way to treat a friend

Bright before me the signs implore me
To help the needy and show them the way
Human kindness is overflowing
And I think it's going to rain today

Here's one that I got to sing a few times in my bluegrass group. Marvelous cadence...

Turpentine and dandelion wine I've turned the corner and I'm doing fine
Shootin' at the birds on the telephone line pickin' 'em off with this gun of mine
Got a fire in my belly and a fire in my head goin' higher and higher till I'm dead

Sister Sue is short and stout she didn't grow up she grew out
Mama says she's plain but she's just bein' kind
Papa thinks she's pretty but he's almost blind
Don't let her out much cept at night but I don't care cause I'm alright
Oh the sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home young folks roll on the floor
Oh the sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home
Keep them hard times away from my door
Brother Gene is big and mean and don't have much to say
He had a little woman who he whooped each day now she's gone away
Got drunk last night kicked mama down the stairs but I'm all right so I don't care

The one Randy Newman song which always elicits intense imagery for me is from the Little Criminals album (the same one which gave us Short People). Baltimore.


Baltimore

Beat up little seagull
On a marble stair
Tryin' to find the ocean
Lookin' everywhere

Hard times in the city
In a hard town by the sea
Ain't nowhere to run to
There ain't nothin' here for free

Hooker on the corner
Waitin' for a train
Drunk lyin' on the sidewalk
Sleepin' in the rain

And they hide their faces
And they hide their eyes
'Cause the city's dyin'
And they don't know why

Oh, Baltimore
Man, it's hard just to live
Oh, Baltimore
Man, it's hard just to live, just to live

Get my sister Sandy
And my little brother Ray
Buy a big old wagon
Gonna haul us all away

Livin' in the country
Where the mountain's high
Never comin' back here
'Til the day I die

Oh, Baltimore
Man, it's hard just to live
Oh, Baltimore
Man, it's hard just to live, just to live

Oh, Baltimore
Man, it's hard just to love
Oh, Baltimore
Man, it's hard just to live, just to live.


The lyrics say it all and I can feel the gloom and despair. Other than that, I have moderately liked a great deal of Newman's work but nothing else has ever found me replaying it again and again and again and again and again and...well, you get the idea.

Randy RULES!!!!


Anyone else got his Faust one?

Here's one we used to sing to our kids... heh heh heh:

Short People

Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
`Round here

Short People are just the same
As you and I
(A Fool Such As I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It's A Wonderful World)

Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time
Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
'Round here

I take that personally, Piffka!




:wink:

Wonderful to have some company in here, by the way! Thanks for sharing your favourites, panzade, sturgis, Deb & Piffka.

The thing it took me a little while to understand about Randy at first, was that he often just became different characters & expressed himself through them.
When I first heard this song I was quite shocked :

Rednecks

Last night I saw Lester Maddox on a TV show
With some smart-ass New York Jew
And the Jew laughed at Lester Maddox
And the audience laughed at Lester Maddox too

Well, he may be a fool but he's our fool
If they think they're better than him they're wrong
So I went to the park and I took some paper along
And that's where I made this song

We talk real funny down here
We drink too much and we laugh too loud
We're too dumb to make it in no Northern town
And we're keepin' the niggers down

We got no-necked oilmen from Texas
And good ol' boys from Tennessee
And college men from LSU
Went in dumb - come out dumb too
Hustlin' 'round Atlanta in their alligator shoes
Gettin' drunk every weekend at the barbecues
And they're keepin' the niggers down

We're rednecks, rednecks
And we don't know our ass from a hole in the ground
We're rednecks, we're rednecks
And we're keeping the niggers down

Now your northern nigger's a Negro
You see he's got his dignity
Down here we're too ignorant to realize
That the North has set the nigger free

Yes he's free to be put in a cage
In Harlem in New York City
And he's free to be put in a cage in the South-Side of Chicago
And the West-Side
And he's free to be put in a cage in Hough in Cleveland
And he's free to be put in a cage in East St. Louis
And he's free to be put in a cage in Fillmore in San Francisco
And he's free to be put in a cage in Roxbury in Boston
They're gatherin' 'em up from miles around
Keepin' the niggers down

We're rednecks, we're rednecks
We don't know our ass from a hole in the ground
We're rednecks, we're rednecks
And we're keeping the niggers down
We are keeping the niggers down

~

Always loved this one!:

Lonely At The Top

I've been around the world
Had my pick of any girl
You'd think I'd be happy
But I'm not
Ev'rybody knows my name
But it's just a crazy game
Oh, it's lonely at the top

Listen to the band, they're playing just for me
Listen to the people paying just for me
All the applause-all the parades
And all the money I have made
Oh, it's lonely at the top

Listen all you fools out there
Go on and love me-I don't care
Oh, it's lonely at the top
Oh, it's lonely at the top

One of my favourites. Very funny! :wink: :

Political Science

No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens

We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now

~

As long as we aren't subjected to that song about the California town...anything but that!

Outrageous! A wicked song about slavery!:

Sail Away

In America you'll get food to eat
Won't have to run through the jungle
And scuff up your feet
You'll just sing about Jesus and drink wine all day
It's great to be an American

Ain't no lions or tigers-ain't no mamba snake
Just the sweet watermelon and the buckwheat cake
Ev'rybody is as happy as a man can be
Climb aboard, little wog-sail away with me

Sail away-sail away
We will cross the mighty ocean into Charleston Bay
Sail away-sail away
We will cross the mighty ocean into Charleston BayIn America every man is free
To take care of his home and his family
You'll be as happy as a monkey in a monkey tree
You're all gonna be an American

Sail away-sail away
We will cross the mighty ocean into Charleston Bay
Sail away-sail away
We will cross the mighty ocean into Charleston Bay

~

Which one is that, Sturgis?

Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear

I may go out tomorrow if I can borrow a coat to wear
Oh, I'd step out in style with my sincere smile and my dancing bear
Outrageous, alarming, courageous, charming
Oh, who would think a boy and bear
Could be well accepted everywhere
It's just amazing how fair people can be

Seen at the nicest places where well-fed faces all stop to stare
Making the grandest entrance is Simon Smith and his dancing bear
They'll love us, won't they?
They feed us, don't they?
Oh, who would think a boy and bear
Could be well accepted everywhere
It's just amazing how fair people can be

Who needs money when you're funny?
The big attraction everywhere
Will be Simon Smith and his dancing bear
It's Simon Smith and the amazing dancing bear

~