all apologies

http://search.able2know.com/About/3138.html

I'm sorry the test results aren't ready yet. Uh, oops, that's for work.

I'm also sorry that I'm too sleepy to make good conversation.

I'm sorry I had that last piece of cheesecake today...oy, my stomach!!!

this goes out to.....a bunch of people

i'm sorry if i made you cry

This goes out to the girl I hooked up with last week after a heroic amount of drinking, whatever you looked like or whatever your name was...I'm sorry I was so drunk I couldn't get it up.

Too much information?

i'm sorry i know kicky shaves his package

Are you serious?

This reminds me of a funny story. It's funny because this has only happened to me once, that I can remember. It was a one-night stand, and I started banging this chick, then went limp. Combination of being drunk, tired, and using a condom.

Fast foward to a year or two later. She's at a party I throw. One of my best friends is hitting on her, and they end up on a couch in my basement together at the end of the night.

The same thing happened to him. Poor woman.

First of all, I don't shave my package. I HAVE shaved it before, but I don't shave it regularly. You'll have to talk to Slappy if you want to hear about that.

Second of all, yes, Slappy, sorry to say, I am serious. I was so drunk that I actually started getting that too-much-spit feeling you get right before you are going to puke WHILE we were making out. That's how drunk I was. I almost threw up while we were making out, and I STILL managed to get semi-hard for a short period of time. Just not hard enough to jam it in there. Dammit. But the fact that I could even get any stiffie at all in that condition shows that I am a GOD.

Bow to me, mere mortals!

Now, THAT'S too much information, right?

Better question...how bad looking was she?

I honestly have no idea. I think she was blonde and not fat. That's about all I can remember. She could have been sixty years old, or an amputee, for all I can remember. I'm telling you, I was DRU-UNK.

Oh lordy.

I know what you mean. She actually called me a couple days later, but I was too embarrassed (mostly by the fact taht I can't even really remember what she looks like) to call her back. I must have made a good impression, even with the limp dick.

Either that or she just wanted to get some. I remember her laughing a lot. I think I was charming.

babeeee....you look THO hot right nowwww....I reeeealy wanth to take you on a pic....nic....thooon.

Is that supposed to be some kind of tranny-homo impersonation, you sonofabitch!? Well, is it???!!!

And here I thought it was a perfectly useful thread to apologise in. Not that I have anything to apologise for. I don't think so anyway. Maybe I'll start a thread for those assailed by self-doubt. Hmmm.....it will probably be sparsely populated I suspect. So perhaps I won't. But maybe I'll start a thread for those who are indecisive. Or not. But if I get around to it I'll start one for those who procrastinate.....ah, who cares.

I know. Apathy!

It's supposed to be an impersonation of a drunk(you) slurring his(your) words.

I can point and laugh because I've NEVER done anything like that.

No worries, Slappy. There's someone for everyone, so eventually you too will know what it's like to be with a woman.

Wasn't that the title of a Nirvana tune, or at least a repeating lyric?

Over here in the UK, this is known as "Brewers Droop".

Not that I......I mean......I had to look it up........well, there was that time.....stop digging, Ellpus.