You are not going to believe what happened to me.

Most of you think I am just a simple capybara farmer and that I very seldom stray far from home. That is mostly true, but I do have a secret side -- I am an international man of disguise, scouring the globe in my never-ending quest for new and exciting animals to add to my menagerie.

There's a reason for traveling in disguise. If I was in, say, Morocco, looking for an elegant yellow-billed parrot I wouldn't get very far dressed in my customary overalls. They'd nail me as a tourist right away and charge double the asking price for the aforementioned bird. So, in such a case, I wil wear my African parrot peddler costume. They figure, "Can't mess with this guy, he knows his birds" and I will get the parrot at market price.

Last year, disguised as a Mongol herdsman, I was able to procure an exceptional yak in Khan Khentii.

And not too long before that, I purchased a fossa in Madagascar by wearing my Egyptian missionary disguise. (The natives of Madagascar consider Egyptian missionaries to be evil spirits and give them good deals on animals just to get rid of them)

But, back to the point at hand: I was in England recently, looking to purchase a common housecat. I know what you're thinking -- "Why couldn't you just grab a cat in America, Gus?"

I have American cats. I wanted an English cat. Simple as that.

So, anyway, I figure the best disguise to wear for purchasing an English cat for a bargain price would be my "sixty-year old Southwest American woman disguise"

I put the disguise on and headed for the nearest cat selling establishment. On the way there I had to make a quick phone call and to my dismay I discovered my battery was dead. "Damn" I muttered, and started scanning the street for a shop which might sell batteries. Straight ahead, I saw such a shop. I was a little hesitant about going there, because of the line in front of the shop, but I needed to make a phone call, so I approached the line.

The last guy in line was this short, fat bald guy with open sores on his face. He craned his neck to look up at me and smiled, exposing a set of teeth that looked like a broken picket fence leaning against some rotting tombstones. "Would you like to go in front of me?" he asked.

I'm thinking to myself, "Hell, yes, I don't want to be staring at the infected bald head for the next twenty minutes" But I remained polite and said, "Why thank you"

Then the guy looks at me and says, "Are you American? I seem to be picking up an accent."

"Yes, I am," I replied, trying to be as terse as possible hoping he would shut up so I din't have to listen to that nasal, whining voice any longer.

But he continued, clueless, "Are you on vacation?"

I had to think quick, make up a story, so I said, "No, I live here. I was married to an Englishman, but he died."

"Do you still communicate with the States?"

"Yes, I read the papers on the internet, and make an occasional phone call"

This is when he dropped the bombshell...

"Have you ever heard of Able2know? It's a fascinating site. I am a regular member and there are quite a few Americans there."

It was at that moment..... that precise friggin' moment, that I knew I was face to face with Lord Ellpus.

I didn't know what to say. I should have just said "no" and left it at that, but I had to go ahead and tell him that I was not only familiar with it, but also knew quite a few of the members by name.

He turned bright red, started sweating like a stuck pig, and then ran away, looking back at me as he did, his flustered face a contortion of agony, his bald head pouring streams of sweat, his fat little body jiggling in a comical fashion. "I'M McTAG! I'M McTAG!, he screamed, and then he disappeared into the throng on the sidewalk.

I caught one last ray of sunshine glistening off his head as he turned the corner. And then he was gone.

What the hell are the odds of something like that happening? Have you ever had a chance encounter with someone from A2K?

I wonder if Lord Ellpus will ever mention this encounter?

Probably not.