Sole of boot was a good addition to the elixir I gave to Bob during the night. He hasn't noticed that he now has a tail, a bushy tail as blond as his hair.
Actually, i sort of like it and Sally is swooning constantly. Ah, but I have my ways and plenty of elixir recipes, some good and some, well, not so good. If he wants to stay the same--of course, the tail has to stay, then he's better behave, or else....
This is song that describes Dys now....sort of:
RAGTIME COWBOY JOE
(Grant Clarke, Lewis Muir and Maurice Abrahams)
Out in Arizona where the bad men are,
And the only friend to guide you is an Evening Star,
The roughest, toughest man by far
Is Ragtime Cowboy Joe.
Got his name from singing to the cows and sheep
Every night they say he sings the herd to sleep
In a basso rich and deep,
Crooning soft and low
cho: How he sings raggy music to his cattle
As he swings back and forward in his saddle
On his horse (a pretty good horse)
Who is syncopated gaited
And with such a funny meter
To the roar of his repeater
How they run when they hear the feller's gun
Because the western folks all know:
He's a hifalootin' scootin', shootin'
Son-of-a-gun from Arizona
Ragtime cowboy (talk about your cowboy)
Ragtime cowboy Joe.
Dressed up ev'ry Sunday in his Sunday clothes
He beats it for the village where he always goes,
And ev'ry girl in town is Joe's
'Cause he's a ragtime bear;
When he starts a-spieling on the dance hall floor,
No one but a lunatic would start a war
Wise men know his forty-four
Makes men dance for fair.
=================
This song will describe him if I don't get the bed tonight:
The Gay Cabellero
Oh I am a gay caballero
Going to Rio Janiero
With nice oily hair,
And full of hot air,
I'm an expert at shooting the bull-eo
I'll find me a fair senorita
Not thin and yet not too much meat-a.
I'll woo her a while
In my Argentine style
And sweep her right off of her feet-a
I'll tell her I'm of the nobilio
And live in a great big castillio.
I must have a miss
Who will long for a kiss
And not say "Oh don't be so silly-io.
It was at a gay cabaretta
While wining and dining I met her.
We had one or two
As other folks do.
The night was wet but we got wetter.
She was a dancer and singer
At me she kept pointing her finger
And saying to me
"Si, Senor, Si Si"
But I couldn't see a durn thing-er
She told me her name was Estrella.
She said, "stick around me, young fella
For mosquitos they bite
And they're awful tonight
And you smell just like citronella."
She told me that she was so lonely
So I climbed upon her balcony.
While under her spell
I heard someone yell
"Get away from here you big baloney."
I swore I would win this senorita
I woo'ed her on the sofita
Then her husband walked in
What he did was a sin.
I can still hear the birds sing "Tweet tweet-a"
Oh I am a sad caballero
Returning from Rio Janierio
Minus my hair,
With a bruise here and there,
And her husband he bit off my ear-o.
Loved the song, Diane.
Don't forget to add a cup of conure to that recipe. I think that's what it's missing.
Diane
Now I know why Diane called me today to warn me that Ragtime Cowboy Joe was driving to my house to bring me a big bowl of tomatoes from their garden.
BBB
(snickers, snorts, and points at Dys)
Dys sleeps in a QUEEN sized bed!
(snickers some more)
Oh Eva, I could never add a cup of conure, but how about conure guano? Yep, that sounds like just the right tang to make it especially er, tasty.
Bodhi, you snort is almost as good as mine, but then I'm sure I'm much older than you and I've had many years to perfect it.
No, please, Diane, no more guano. The cowboy is already full of it.
that chair sounds awfully near the kitchen and the
scissors and the
knives ....
better let her in .... or you may become the lavender cowboy
Oh, don't you give me that innocent look!
See what I have to put up with? Those innocent blue eyes. Eva, I love your reply about the cowboy already being full of "guano." Hee, hee, hee...
Vivien, he just doesn't have a clue. Knives, scissors, hmmm...lavender cowboy. Nah, I couldn't do it. He is, after all, fun in bed when he lets me use it. Sigh, I'm so terribly abused. Sigh, martyred look, whine, looking into the distance as if there could have been a better life,silence. Would any of those things work? No, remember the no clue part.
So, what's the matter with you anyway, Diane? Where's the spunk, the resourcefulness, the courage that we've come to expect from you?
Dammit, assert yourself, Woman! We don't have to ask a man's permission for what we want anymore. Stop whining! Just take the bed for yourself if you want it.
Tonight, fix him a snack before bed (he could use the calories) and while he's eating it, help yourself to the bed. Stretch out across the middle of it....take up the whole thing, Sister. When he comes in the room, tell him it's his turn to sleep in the chair.
Be firm. I know you can do it.
Put a Helen Reddy CD on if you need to. (That oughta drive him outta the room!)
Hee, hee, yes indeed Eva, the Helen Reddy tape would do him in. Hmm, he might enjoy the stretching out all over the bed part. It might get to start thinking--yeah, actually thinking--that my company in bed would be a good thing.
He could certainly use the calories which leads to the fact that I keep his skinny ass warm, so what's the idea of this crazy thread? The men really enjoyed it, that' what. And the women have enjoyed getting back at the men, although it's so easy there really isn't any challenge. Poor guys.
Do you think being clueless has anything to do with the "Y" chromasome? Women have two "X'es" but men are missing that one little part of one of their eX'es. That must be the part that leaves them clueless. It should be called the "I have a clue particle." Poor guys are missing it. Never had it. Geeez that explains a lot!!!
Diane wrote:...men are missing that one little part of one of their eX'es...
I'm sure you're right, Diane. No doubt most men do miss a certain part of at least one of their exes. Not the whole ex, of course, (that's why they're an ex) but they probably had at least one part that was good for some things, some times.
