Good Manners = Common Sense?

The thing which ends up annoying me the most has to do with the fact that I like to read in a couple of large book stores near my home. Generally, there are 4 to 8 chairs in a reading area, and people think nothing of sitting down and starting a loud, long, permanent conversation, either with someone present, or with someone on a cell phone. Yes, I know it's not the library, but it is a place created by the store for reading, and people are there using it.

One time, this woman started reading a book out loud to her daughter in the midst of a number of readers, including me. I usually keep my mouth shut in such situations, but in this case, I asked her if she intended to be reading aloud continuosly, and she apologized and left with her child.

This is one of my pet peeves. It seems to be related to to a lack of empathy.

I agree.
Lack of empathy is my biggest pet peeve.
Occupying a bus seat with your purse when it is full
rushing in front of someone with a kid, or an older person in a grocery store simply because they are not walking as fast as you are, causing them to have to stop and wait for you to pass them

Someone walking twords a door with their hands obviously full , and everyone sees.. yet noone offers to help.

People who blow thier nose at the dinner table- loudly- or cough up what ever is in their lungs while people eat..

people who leave their mess on the table at small restaurants where there is clearly a trash can for them to put thier things in.

People who throw their cigarette buts on the ground .. sometimes incehs away from a trash can.

hmm.. i have alot of annoyances..

Shewolfnm - your comment about the bus seat reminded me of a funny thing. Once when taking the commuter train home during rush hour and a particularly rainy day I came across such an incident. I manage to make my train by only a few minutes (seems rain slows us down or something). I finally find a seat (that is not occupied by a person or some sort of bag) at the end of the train. It is one of those seats where the one in front faces you so you seat knees to knees. The seat facing me is occupied by a woman and her bag.

Not too far behind me was another out of breath commuter. She spies the bag occupied seat and politely asks the woman if she can sit there. The woman moans and groans (no joke) and rudely picks up her bag and shoves it under her seat. I could not resist. I said something along the lines, I guess her bag needs to be comfortable. The woman who sat down then thanked and said I thought maybe I asked rudely or something. I replied no you were very polite. At that, the woman got up making all sorts of commotion and walked away. Then a minute later she comes back (forgot her umbrella) and makes some huffy noise, grabs it and leaves in a huff. I of course burst out laughing.

Good manners, common sense, pet peeves.......

Hmmm,

-- People who refuse to turn off their cell phones in restaurants. Why not enjoy a meal (and let those around you do the same) for an hour?

-- People who won't clean up after their dog has messed. Very inappropriate.

-- People who push in line ahead of you to check something out. Or, ask, just because they have one or two items, to go ahead of you. Have I not been waiting patiently myself?

-- People who suddenly change lanes in front of you while driving and don't signal. Dangerous.

I'll come back with more from time to time.....

One person's good manners are another person's pushiness.

Example?

Reyn--

Some people feel that stating A Need entitles them to special consideration from you.

"You don't mind if I just cut in the line.....after all I only...."

Personally, unless I'm in a thundering hurry I offer people the chance to cut in front of me--and they are out-proportion pleased about being extended a little bit of thoughtfulness.

Reyn--

Some people feel that stating A Need entitles them to special consideration from you.

"You don't mind if I just cut in the line.....after all I only...."

Personally, unless I'm in a thundering hurry I offer people the chance to cut in front of me--and they are out-proportion pleased about being extended a little bit of thoughtfulness.

People who "craaack" their chewing gum. Drives me nuts!

People talking on their cell phone about what "It's all Bush's fault" while letting their dog **** on your sidewalk, then cough and spit up a big loogie and head for the bus stop, where their dog takes up a seat while licking his a--.

People who interrupt!
Loud commercials on TV....
And people who borrow from you all the time.....and don't return the item.

Noddy, with your example:

If there was a good reason for someone to cut into line, I would probably say, go ahead, but if I've been waiting patiently myself for some period time, no way.

Some just like to take advantage and figure the world owes them.

It's like fighting for that parking space only steps away from a store's front door sillyness, in my opinion.

For some reason I have this image in my head of Bono....

Cell-phone users in restaurants don't bother me too much. It's the ones who don't turn off their cellies in the theater or at a concert that drive me nuts. It's the height of rudeness to allow a performance to be interrupted by a sappy jingle suddenly coming out of nowehere. And, of course, it's so much worse if the culprit actually answers the call without taking it outside.

I'm not sure at all what you mean.

Can you explain?

Reyn/Noddy - you think asking first is bad manners, how about some one who just assumes and walks in front of a line? This happened to me.

Ahhh Christmas shopping….one of the best things about working in downtown Boston is the early morning sales - get into town early and do some morning Christmas shopping. Well, I was in line, not too bad considering the time of year - about 3rd in line and some bozos walks in front of the woman in front of me. She did not say a word. As I don't know when to shut up, I spoke up. I did say it nicely, "Excuse me, but the line ends behind me." He spoke up, but I only have a couple of items and need to get to work. Duh bozo what about the rest of us here. I just looked at him holding my one item and said - It's not any different for the rest of us. He ended up leaving.

Agreed. That's outrageous to "assume". I also wouldn't have hesitated to bring it to the cashier's attention.

I absolutely hate Christmas shopping. The crowds drive me nuts. My wife nad I aren't big on it and only buy for immediate family.

To us, birthdays and our wedding anniversary are more important.

I'm glad this thread is here, Chai. I'm still steaming about a school concert I attended tonight.

It was the first concert of the year. All music groups were participating including 4 different choral groups, two bands, and the orchestra. It was a packed auditorium. Three high school girls were sitting a few rows behind Mr B and I and couldn't seem to keep quiet for more than 20 seconds at a time. They yacked, yacked, yacked through the first four performances. The man in front of them asked them three different times to be quiet, but they couldn't. They finally left.

The couple directly behind me weren't quite as loud, but were equally obnoxious. Their daughter plays in the orchestra with my daughter and throughout the choral and band performances they were carrying on a lively discussion. I gave them a few pleading looks and they would stop for a few seconds before starting up again. During the orchestra performance Mrs Chatty left to get a better position to video her darling daughter. She returned a few minutes later during the next choral/orchestra piece and started telling Mr Chatty about the shots she was able to get. I spun around, gave her 'the look' that my children know all too well, and said, "PLEASE!" a little too loudly. WTF? What is it with people who feel they can go to a performance and ruin it for the people around them? It was bad enough coming from the kids, but the adults put me over the edge.

Yes, I think this is a good thread for a few reasons.

1. Hopefully someone out there will see themselves in some of the annoying scenerios, and didn't realize how they were coming across to others.

2. I find it interesting seeing the different tolerance levels of others, as far as what they find offensive.

I'm wondering if it's a generational thing?

for instance, the cell phone thing....I would never use one in a restaurant. If I have to make or take a call when others are around and I can't leave the area, I lower my head and speaking as softly as possible. Part of it is the fact I don't feel the rest of the room needs to be privy to my conversation.
Turning that around, I really don't want to hear what others have to say. Even at home when I make a call, I go into another room so as not to disturb anyone.


OH!!!!! Here's a pet peeved for me......

When you're talking to someone on the phone, and they've got their TV, radio whatever just blasting away.

When you talking on the phone, TURN OFF the TV!!!

It just sounds SO trailer trashy, like you can't decide if I'm important enough to devote your attention to....

I feel the same way about call waiting.

You're on the phone talking to someone, and all of a sudden someone else is more important than you, and you have the privilege of waiting until they are finished talking to someone apparantly more interesting, and they can finally come back to you.

That is what a busy signal is for.....you are letting someone know that you are occupied with someone else.

You the caller, can call back later, and you will be given the same courtesy of no interuptions.

I guess it does come down to the golden rule.