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Sun 23 Jun, 2024 05:57 pm
I need opinions on a disagreement my husband and I are having. We have three boys ages 10,12,15 they love basketball and pretty much play year round either for their school or other leagues,other than basketball they don't do much else,recently my husband has been telling them they need to help financially,he has been consistently on them, giving them ideas of things they can do to make money to "pull their weight",he constantly reminds them roof over their heads ECT,this angers me i understand teaching them responsibility,however they are children and have the rest of life to work n pay bills,they need to be children grow n learn and become individual and decide after graduation what next,if they do so now may get burned out when the time comes am I wrong?
@Chellw55 ,
The issue here is that you and your husband are not a team on this. You need to sit down and discuss why he wants them to start now as opposed to later, for one thing. What are his expectations and how are they measured? Not enough per hour? BUZZ!! The point is that you two differ. You need to come to a solution for the sake of all of you. Get him to agree now, at least, that you're going to tell the boys you and he will discuss it and will let them know later. They need to see you as one.
@Chellw55 ,
That's so absurd to expect a 10 year old one to contribute to the financials, or a 12, 15 year old for that matter.
Tell your husband that until the boys go off to college, they're his and your financial obligation. I can see that they can help cleaning up, helping with chores etc. but not financially.
Your husband is way off base here and I would not let him torment the boys in this manner.
@Mame,
Mame, what's there to discuss? The father cannot have a 10,12, year old contribute financially to the family expenses. That's ridiculous to expect that.
@CalamityJane,
Sounds like talking it over might help him see reason. Plus, aren't there labour laws? It sounds very sudden, to me, and it'd be interesting to get to the bottom of it.
@Chellw55 ,
Is this because of the cost of playing basketball? He wants them to help pay for this?
Like others said they are too young for an actual paying job. Maybe the 15 year old at some places work, but even then the hours would be very limited.
My take it is something deeper. You said that is all they do is play basketball. Maybe your husband is more concerned that they are lazy outside of that and feels they take advantage and do not appreciate what they have. You need to see why he feels this way. Maybe some sort of compromise where as if they want to continue playing basketball, they need to do yard work to help support the fees to play.
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