Why have I been betrayed by my own family?

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Went to a family bar mitzvah. The first grandchild of my closest sister which I refer to as sister 2. I was told by my nephew who is giving the event that no cousins are invited when the invites went out since my kids didn't receive an invite. Then I found out when I walked into the event that my other sister (sister 1), kids and grandkids were all invited.
I was invited with a guest so I thought of bringing my son who is single and alone, but before I did so I asked my nephew giving the event if cousins were invited, at which point he told me they were not to keep the numbers down. Then I talked to my sister 2 and said to her I don’t know whether to bring my son or not because I don’t want to hurt any of the other cousins feelings since I understand none of them are invited. The only thing she told me was that sister number 1 son wife and two kids were invited and then she went into this long explanation of why they were invited. However, she never mentioned sister number 1's other son and wife being invited (stepchildren). So I brought my son as my "guest" and my daughter and son-in-law were excluded. However, when I walked into the event, sister number 1's children and grandchildren were all there. Conveniently, my nephew never told me about this and lied and also conveniently my sister 2 never told me about it since she only mentioned a few of them.

I was shocked and very upset and I saw my sister number 2 when I walked in and I said wow, congrats but it seems like only certain cousins made the cut; she walked away and started asking my son what's wrong with your mother? He said he was staying out of it.
Now I shouldn’t have said that, but I was so upset and shocked that I was lied to by my nephew and sister 2. I tried to make up with my sister at the event and she says she really loved me but seems really mad at me really what did they expect? I was attending the party so I was going to find out either way. Why was I lied to and I feel so hurt. Am I being oversensitive? By the way, my niece is sister 2 daughter, told me she was upset that both of my kids and my son-in-law were excluded, particularly since sister number 1's and grandchildren were included.

It seems I was the only one concerned about the other family members' feelings and no one else gave a crap. they couldn't even be honest with me so I didn't walk into the event feeling total betrayed.

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@perspectiveonthings,

I don't know what's going on with all of them, but I'm with you. I'd like to know why they didn't invite the rest of your family and why the conspiracy. If you ever find out, will you come back and relieve my morbid curiosity? It's a real conundrum, alright.

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@perspectiveonthings,

I went to a family bar mitzvah for the first grandchild of my closest sister, whom I’ll refer to as sister 2. I was told by my nephew, who organized the event, that no cousins were invited since my kids didn't receive an invite. However, when I arrived at the event, I discovered that my other sister (sister 1), her kids, and her grandkids were all invited.
I had been invited with a guest, so I considered bringing my single son. Before doing so, I asked my nephew if cousins were invited, and he reiterated that they were not to keep the numbers down. I also spoke to sister 2, expressing my uncertainty about bringing my son because I didn't want to hurt the other cousins' feelings. She only mentioned that sister 1’s son, his wife, and their two kids were invited, providing a long explanation for their inclusion, but she didn’t mention that sister 1’s other son and wife (stepchildren) were also invited.
So, I brought my son as my "guest" while excluding my daughter and son-in-law. Upon arrival, I saw that sister 1’s children and grandchildren were all present. My nephew had lied to me, and sister 2 had conveniently left out crucial details.

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@perspectiveonthings,

I understand you're upset about the lying. However, consider this.

A bar or bat mitzvah is, by definition, a party that's really for kids. Yes, it's also family-oriented, and it's nice to see everyone when it's not a funeral.

By the time you hit age 40 or so, you have likely been there, done that with every single possible bar/bat mitzvah variant there is. Most of the music will be stuff that's not in your wheelhouse. Kids will be running around playing Coke and Pepsi or Name that Tune, much like when we were kids (I was 13 in 1975).

If you stuffed cotton in your ears and compared 1975 to 2024, the only real differences you would see would be hairstyles and clothing, and how much everyone has aged (and, often, put on weight). And... that's it.

The last mitzvah I attended was January of 2020, just before Covid really hit. In all seriousness, the main thing I can recall about it is that they played Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer, people raised their fists, and it was probably the most New Jersey thing I think I have ever seen.

And... that's it.

Of course you and I aren't going to have identical experiences, but don't forget the number of times you have sat at a table at a bar or bat mitzvah and wondered why you were bothering to get dressed up and go.

Of course they should not have lied to you. But this may not have been the horrific betrayal you are seeing it to be. Consider flipping your perspective. It may help.

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