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Sat 18 May, 2024 04:32 am
So I have a situation, that’s a little complex, I own a screen, printing company with a flat above, and I’ve just bought boat to live on. My best friend saw an opportunity and asked if they could stay in my studio for a little while as the housing situation where we live is pretty dismal, very difficult and expensive. Him and his boyfriend asked if they could move in. I felt a little pressurised due to the situation as they only had a month to find somewhere. Now I don’t particularly like my best friends boyfriend, but I’ve always made an effort to make them feel comfortable. Our first encounter was he came across as a pathological liar, saying he had worked for NASA in the European space agency. He also lied about having epilepsy and lots of things wrong with him. I say don’t bullshit a bullshitter. I could see right through the lies. And I called him up on it and made him uncomfortable at first meeting. It’s okay if he haven’t done anything his your life, you don’t need to lie about to make yourself look impressive in front of me. I would rather him be honest.
I started to feel very uncomfortable about the situation, and it suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t want to see my best friends boyfriend in my place of work every day how on earth do you tell your friend that you don’t want his loser a boyfriend anywhere near you on a day-to-day basis. I also could see some issues arising as they were taking advantage of my kind offer. Considering I asked for very little rent, not even enough to cover any bills. I also know that they take quite a lot of drugs and I don’t take drugs. I think I’m known as the rich friend that’s done well in life, but I’ve kept my best friend with me even though they’ve gone through some pretty traumatic experiences, sexual abuse drug taking, drug addiction to meth and some pretty poor choices in life. My best friend needs me more than I need them. They owe me thousands of pounds and have exploited my generosity and never really given anything back.
Feeling very uncomfortable about the situation of them both moving into my place I lied and said that my landlord wouldn’t let me sublet and the answer was no it kind of made it easier. If it was out of my hands. It is also on my tenancy agreement that I cannot sublet. So I’m not lying per say. Now they have two weeks to find somewhere to live, and they could be potentially homeless. Also, may I add that my Boat is not in any condition to live in no electricity, no running water no heating and no cooking facilities so I was already making quite some sacrifices for them to come and stay here in my studio before I changed my mind.
I knew if they moved in with lose our friendship anyway, and I knew if they didn’t move in with lose our friendship anyway. Feeling incredibly bad, but in hindsight, and for seeing what the future would look like with them here, I’d find it very difficult. This is my livelihood.
Have I made the right decision?
Of course you have. You have many reasons for not allowing them to stay there and the use of drugs is a huge red flag. You shouldn't have to justify your feelings or reactions.
If you don't want them there and you'll breathe easier knowing they're not there, you'll be a much happier person. Their situation is not your problem. There are two of them to figure this out.
I say you did the right thing.
Agree with Mame.
The guy already owes you thousands of pounds. If he moves in, then it's a pretty surefire bet that he will owe you tens of thousands of pounds erelong.
In the US at least, if your pal can demonstrate that loans from you are really gifts, then he may be able to use it as a defense if when he doesn't pay your sublease rent and you try to evict him.
Drug use and/or dealing may be on your lease, listed as forbidden activities. If so, then if when they use drugs in your apartment, it'll be setting up your landlord with a nice and easy reason to evict you.
It's a situation where you could have a very hard time getting rid of them, but your landlord would have a very easy time getting rid of you.
This is a lose-lose situation for you. There are no upsides to it.
I'm sorry your pal might become homeless. But he's a big boy and at least some of this is stuff he brought upon himself.
Don't give it another thought.
@Ladyoftheflowers ,
Yes, you made the right decision. While it's tough, prioritizing your own comfort and well-being, especially regarding your livelihood, is crucial. If their presence would create ongoing stress and potential conflicts, it's better to be honest now rather than risk further complications and potentially damaging your friendship even more in the long run. It's understandable to feel bad, but sometimes tough decisions are necessary for your own peace of mind.
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