@jespah,
I remember getting addle brained over an old boyfriend and alway forgave him for whatever punishment he dealt out. The Boyfriend was so bad, that by the time I finally got rid of him I met a man who seemed to love me to pieces.....had some rough spots, but eveytime I called for a time out, he would swear he would change. I actually married this asshole and wound up suffering for about 4 years. It starts off slow, and little by little they rob you by millimeters until you have nothing left of your ego or self-worth. Frankly we all marry because we believe we are in love and it seldom occurs to us that our new spouse might just be a jealous narcissist who can't be happy until they beat us flatly into the ground.
My saving night was when we had an argument he started asking me if I wanted a divorce (I didn't), did I have a boyfriend (I didn't) and threw such a tantrum he pulled the drapes off the curtain rods (I don't know why, it was extreme drama queen ****). He tossed all of my clay pot shrubs in the kitchen floor, shattered everything to dirt , roots and shattered pottery. I remember talking him into going to bed and then got a dust bin and swept up a ton of near death green plants. it was all on a white tile floor that I installed myself. Drapes were a lost cause so I just folded them near their windows. I somehow knew it would be extremely stupid to stay another night with him, but once I cleaned everything up (My son was 2 and a half, I didn't want him to see the ruin. About then, dawn was starting to break, so I walked into the living room tried to lie down on the sofa. As soon as my head hit the cushion I heard him pull back the bolt on an M-16.I sat up and looking down the hall I could see him sitting with the weapon in his mouth, full bandana clip. I can't explain the mix of emotions that flood thru your head at a time like that, but he had been saying he would kill me and Eric and I'm hustling down the hallway almost frozen stiff just begging him to put the gun down, just put the gun down. I was afraid he's shoot himself or change and shoot me but as I got closer to the bed, he laid back on the mattress and dropped the gun. I rushed to grab the gun but he sat up immediately and wrestled the gun away from me. I went completely lightheaded and passed out.
I came back to consciousness as he was redressing himself and heading to the hospital because he broke his hand slamming the wall right next to my head. He also insisted to taking the baby (probably to make sure I wouldn't leave) But will all this craap, his first move was to drive over to my parents house and told his ridiculous story to the. My mother was fully collected, offered a few comforting words then talked him into leaving the baby with her. So he heads off to hospital, thinking he has proved what a deviant over demanding woman he had to live with, but the phone in my house rang before he completely left her street. My phone rang immediately, It was Mom (MOM with MOM voice authority). All I heard was 'janice'? What the hell happened over there last night.....I had never really complained about "DON" as a problem, I just thought he was a little mislead by the yak herders who raised him. My Dad ran over helped me put some clothing in a few suitcases, and I fled to their house....oh And I also took the 3 guns he owned alone with the Ammo boxes.
I apologize for repeating such a long story (I did shorten it) but try not to get 'compelled to belong' lock stock and barrel to a seemingly nice man who may just want to love you and lock you into fertuity (and make you sleep under the bed). And don't wear chains on your necks EVER.