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Wed 24 Jan, 2024 12:00 pm
Hi to all. Sorry if my English is not perfect. I have a problem and I would really appriciate your opinion.
I am a married 33 year old woman with two children. I have been married for 8 years now.
I had an affair with a collegue from work.
My husband found out after 3 months and my marriage since then is a nightmare for me. He didnt find out everything. He suspected and cheked my phone. He found out that I use hide msg on viber. Insisted to give him the password. He only saw that the collegue chat is hidden and asked me why. My brain was blocked, I couldnt think and I said that we only liked each other and chatted often. For luck I always delete the conversation so he couldnt see anything. I told him that we are only friends, that we liked eachother, flirted but never had anything phisical. He was furious but decided to give me another chance. Since then ( 4 months now) he checks my i phone really often, msg, viber, instagram, fb, phone calls, everything. He forbid me to have friends at work, go out with them... I dont have a problem doing that because I am aware that I made a big mistake and I understand that it takes time for him to start having trust in me again.
But... althou I ended the affair I continued to be close with this man at work, be friends, chat with him. To be honest I love him.
To be able to chat with him I use e-mail on tutanota website and always open it in incognito mode on chrome. We also use skype app. I made another account. Sometimes I chat from my lap top and always clik on forget username and passw when i sign out. When I want to chat on my i phone I install the skype app, chat, and then delete the app. This happens several times every day. Download, chat, delete app...
My question is can my husband find out that I am doing this? Is there a way?
@rosedare,
rosedare wrote:
Hi to all. Sorry if my English is not perfect. I have a problem and I would really appriciate your opinion.
I am a married 33 year old woman with two children. I have been married for 8 years now.
I had an affair with a collegue from work.
My husband found out after 3 months and my marriage since then is a nightmare for me. He didnt find out everything. He suspected and cheked my phone. He found out that I use hide msg on viber. Insisted to give him the password. He only saw that the collegue chat is hidden and asked me why. My brain was blocked, I couldnt think and I said that we only liked each other and chatted often. For luck I always delete the conversation so he couldnt see anything. I told him that we are only friends, that we liked eachother, flirted but never had anything phisical. He was furious but decided to give me another chance. Since then ( 4 months now) he checks my i phone really often, msg, viber, instagram, fb, phone calls, everything. He forbid me to have friends at work, go out with them... I dont have a problem doing that because I am aware that I made a big mistake and I understand that it takes time for him to start having trust in me again.
But... althou I ended the affair I continued to be close with this man at work, be friends, chat with him. To be honest I love him.
To be able to chat with him I use e-mail on tutanota website and always open it in incognito mode on chrome. We also use skype app. I made another account. Sometimes I chat from my lap top and always clik on forget username and passw when i sign out. When I want to chat on my i phone I install the skype app, chat, and then delete the app. This happens several times every day. Download, chat, delete app...
My question is can my husband find out that I am doing this? Is there a way?
You're barking up the wrong tree. Let me suggest you consult a good divorce attorney. If he gets one himself? His attorney still can recover all of this digital evidence with some sophisticated software tools and the data subpoenaed from your ISP and phone services.
I am pretty doubtful you're not properly hiding your digital paper trail, not failing to mention the immorality of even trying. You're putting a ton of effort into this affair and likely doing a terrible job trying to hide it.
FYI, with Google's recent admission, incognito mode isn't as
safe and secure a coverup tool as you think it is.
@tsarstepan,
Thank you for your answer, I really apreciate it. I am aware that there are options with sophisticated software tools.
My question is, is there a way without those sophisticated software tools for him to find out that I install skype app, use it and delete it. Is any data saved? Is there a history on an i phone when, how often I instaled theapp? I know that on app store there is history of apps that have been purchused .
@rosedare,
I'm not sure of what you think able2know is ... internet forum wise. But this isn't a black hat hacking site. This ain't a dark web site. WE hardly have any active IT members, let alone someone who will work/respond to your immoral questions for free.
I suspect that deleting the app on the phone does NOTHING to fully delete and erase all the traces of those questionable apps you've been using. Especially since ... as you claim to load, delete, and reupload the same apps several times a day.
I also suspect that the only way to do what you think you need to do ... is to do a factory reset on your phone. That would be crazy and convoluted ... several times a day. Why don't you get a burner phone (a phone you use where your partner has no idea it exists - that means physical phone and separate bill paid on the down low)? Or just divorce him already? That's just the simpler solution.
He doesn't trust you anymore; you obviously don't love him anymore. Why are you there? Get a frickin divorce!
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