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Help with my uni crush

 
 
Mlap
 
Reply Wed 15 Nov, 2023 12:04 pm

So i (m21) have been in uni for a month now and in the first week there was of course the orientation week. Im not aware how it is handled in different countries, but in my country its organized by the student council.

The first event was just the new students that were interested being put in random groups and then the helpers, who were in higher semesters who took us around the city and playing different drinking games with us.

There was a lot of drinking involved, so i cant remember everything, but one helper (f20) got stuck in my head i dont know for what exactly aside of her beauty, im sure we talked a little bit, but not too much.

2 days later there was another event, this time it was random groups again and we went barhopping, i had a different group and she wasnt helping this time.
I was kinda disappointed, but i just went on to get to meet new people.
Well, after the barhopping there was an afterparty planned.
The club for the afterparty was in the underground, if you went down the stairs, there was a small seating area straight ahead and behind that was the bar, the dance floor was a bit more to the left.

As i went down the stairs there she was again in the seating area, with her friends (which i knew a bit, because they were helpers aswell) i was suprised to see her, but even more suprised that as i got closer down the stairs she noticed me, and called my name. I wasnt expecting her to know my name, i even forgot hers (mind you the first event was 4 hours long and we were a group of 20 people, so im not expecting her to still know my name).

We chatted for a bit, about hobbies and whatnot. Then she saved her contact in my phone, i dont know exactly why. We had a group chat for the organization of the first event, but i hadnt saved her contact (Its was whatsapp, so you can show strangers a name, which you choose), she had her first name on display for strangers. She took my phone and saved her contact, but she added her last name for me.
She told me something around the lines of "not to text her before this one lecture", which i have to take in the next semester and which is apparently not that easy. But i think she meant it in a more playful way.

We were in the club for around 3 hours, but then her friends wanted to go home, as they all had lectures the next day. It seemed like she wasnt really sure if she wanted to go home, but she would have been the only one left of her friend group (it was a 30 minute walk to her home at 3am). I offered to walk her home and after shortly talking with her friends, she agreed. I bought her a beer and 5 minutes later she wanted to go too.

So we took our beers and went on our way home.
As we walked home, we talked about how we got to studying our subjects (which are almost the same, just a slight difference in the focus of the subject). She told me about her year abroad. We again talked about our hobbies and how we support the same sports club and go to the games. And we laughed a lot.
At one point i gave her a sticker of a fan club i have with my friends, i told her to not put it over stickers from other fan clubs. She started laughing and put it over the sticker of another club, while i tried to stop her.
Then a classmate of mine came by, as he was biking home, this sadly caused us to fall out of our emotion a bit.

After we had talked with him for a bit i took her in front her house and we hugged, she thanked me for the beer and we said goodbye.

2 days later and i went to watch our favourite team, i texted her asking
"are you watching the game aswell?"
She simply answered with a photo in front of the stadium.
Me: "in which block are you?"
She jokingly answered with the name of a block that belongs to a different team, me:"haha" "you dont have to tell me the colour of your seat" (thats kind of an insider) her:"decadent who sits"(its hard to properly translate that in english).
Me:"sorry im not rich enough to buy seating tickets"
her:"jokes aside im at block 11"
I sent her a picture of the view from my block to hers and thats where the convo ended that day.
We coincidentally saw eachother after the game and exchanged a smiling "hey".

We saw eachother twice since then, once on my way to a lecture with my bike and once in a lecture we both share, although she is 2 semesters ahead of me, but she was there with her friends and we just said "hey" again.

The day of Halloween which was 2 days after the last text, i asked her if she would go out that evening,
her:"i will see",
then i texted her 5 hours later at around 10pm :"rather save the energy for tomorrow"
her:"important, because tomorrow is a holiday"(obviously sarcasm, in our country 1st of october is a holiday, so why should i save my energy) "today is party"
Me:" i need the energy to push our team tomorrow"
her:"tickets are bought"
me:"im still trying to get one"
her:"difficult"
me:"nah, i will get one easily tomorrow"

The next day when our team played, i noticed her profile picture, which meant that she had saved my contact in her phone.

Our team lost that day and in the evening i texted her:"didnt need to save that energy" which she read but didnt respond to.

Then 2 days later i got kinda drunk with friends and wanted to text her, so i cited her "important, because tomorrow is a holiday" and answered "bingo on thursday is more important" and i didnt get a response again, but she read it.

After that i didnt see or text her for 7 days, but 3 days ago i saw her talking with her friend while riding my bike home and she said "hey" and i realized again how much i missed her already.



Do you guys have any advice on the texting and how i could maybe get her in a conversation in person?
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 797 • Replies: 18

 
Mame
 
  3  
Reply Wed 15 Nov, 2023 02:59 pm
Why don't you text her and suggest meeting for a coffee or a drink? Say, "Hey, how've you been? Want to get together for _____?"
Mlap
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Nov, 2023 04:17 pm
@Mame,
To be honest im a bit scared, because i thought i texted her too much and wanted to give her some space. My plan was to talk to her in person and see how she behaves, but we rarely see eachother and it usually is when im just driving past her with my bike and we say hey
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Nov, 2023 10:42 pm
@Mlap,
Haven't you posted this before?

Walk up to her desk, say "hello, I would very much like to have coffee with you."

What is the worse that could happen? She may say 'no' but trust me, you made her day by showing interest. Three to one she'll say yes, that she "would like to very much, thank-you."
Mlap
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Nov, 2023 04:32 am
@bobsal u1553115,
No i have never posted this before.
What do you mean with "go to her desk"? The last time i have seen her for more than 1 minute was 3 weeks ago.
bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Nov, 2023 07:40 am
@Mlap,
I understand your confusion, allow me to explain: by march to her desk right now, I mean march right to her desk right now.

You remind me of the joke about the lady married twice and remained a virgin. The first husband was gynecologist - all he did was look at it. The second was a psychiatrist - all he did was talk about it.

Stop looking at her and talking about her and approach her before someone else does.

I am surprised that you can get strong with me but you can't you can't even squeak to her.
Mlap
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Nov, 2023 08:16 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Well of course its different, because with all due respect i dont care much what a stranger in the internet thinks about me, i dont want to just flat out ask her for a date, thats the only thing im „scared“ off
bobsal u1553115
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Nov, 2023 10:02 pm
@Mlap,
Then what the heck are you doing here? Waiting for her to psychically suss out your undefined inability to just go and ask her a simple question? Go the **** over to her desk and ask her out for a coffee. Or spend your time staring and yearning, of course this will make you seem creepy after a while and make your inaction enforced and no longer voluntary.

Seriously, if you don't approach her and ask a simple question, what is going to make her aware of your interest?

Sometimes I feel like some of our questioners are adolescents. May I ask how old you are?
Mlap
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2023 05:40 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Its in my post, how old are you if i may ask?
Thanks for you opinion
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2023 08:42 am
@Mlap,
Young blood: I'm 74. I've made all the mistakes you're making. I know whereof I speak.
Mlap
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2023 09:23 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Of course and im thankful for your advice, but times change and maybe youre not up to date with everything
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2023 11:14 am
@Mlap,
I'm no antique.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Fri 17 Nov, 2023 02:20 pm
@Mlap,
Just text her. Are you going to let your fears control your life? What is the worst that could happen? She could not be interested in you. That's it. It doesn't mean that no one ever will be, just that's she's not. Go and find out. Or don't.
Mlap
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2023 03:52 am
@Mame,
I havent texted her in 2 weeks, should i just ask her upfront or do a little small talk before i ask her?
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2023 07:09 am
@Mlap,
Not if she hasn't responded or even acknowledged your e-mail. Sending more past one or two without a response might be considered harassment.

Maybe it's time to cut bait and try fresher water.

Mlap
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2023 10:22 am
@bobsal u1553115,
She has seen my messages but she hasnt responded, you can see the text i sent her in my post here
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Nov, 2023 10:24 am
@Mlap,
Mlap wrote:

She has seen my messages but she hasnt responded, you can see the text i sent her in my post here


Hence my comment: Not if she hasn't responded or even acknowledged your e-mail. Sending more past one or two without a response might be considered harassment.

Maybe it's time to cut bait and try fresher water.
0 Replies
 
Mlap
 
  2  
Reply Sun 19 Nov, 2023 07:23 am
@Mlap,
Okay, i decided i will ask her out next week
bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Sun 19 Nov, 2023 11:37 am
@Mlap,
Good man. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Worst thing that can happen is she politely might decline. Two good thing will derive from this: 1. she'll know you are a quiet, nice person. 2. you'll have experience and confidence for the next time someone catches your interest.

0 Replies
 
 

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