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Fri 10 Nov, 2023 02:56 pm
I am 25 years old male and i dont want to make excuses for what I did, because there are no excuses for cheating imo, but I did it, I did it and i refret it like I never regretted anything in my life. It is hard to live with the guilt of what I did. I did it out of anger, I was enraged that my girlfriend posted what I consider to be provocative pictures after I told her like 3, 4 times to not do it, and it is not her fault that I cheated it is mine, it will foerever be mine but I was wrong I was not in a clear head, I showed my friend the pictures and he just told me those are normal pictures, it just showcases her curves. That is when it hit me, I ve done ****, imense ****. I cheated on the 1st month of the relationship, I am on the 5th and I havent told her, yet. I am afraid that she will think that I do not love her , that I am a monster , that she will leave me. I am beeing so selfish because like my friend told me if it was you would you not disearve to know what your partner did? But I love her and I think I will never find someone like her , and even if she forgives me the relationship will never be the same again, I am thining about taking it to the grave with me, because if someone disearves to suffer is me, she has been nothing but loyal, she is not perfect but she is perfect for me. We were having lunch today and she told me we are perfect for each other and I whispered to my self we would be if I didnt cheat and she saw me mumbling and got mad, I got really scared. Anyway I did it one time and it was enough and i regret it so much it was meaningless I was stupid and did not think about the future of the relationship , now I am in a better state of mind, altough I feel attracted towards other women which I think is normal, I do not even give the cance to cheat, I dont drink dont talk dont make friendships , when I get appoached at work imeddiatily bring my gf into the conversation. I cheated one time and it affects me everyday, I imagine what it would do to her , my precious baby, I cant tell her i just cant I also dont think I disearve her love I dont I also think I cant carry on with this relationship like this she disearves to know that I was a jackass but she does not disearve to know because she does not disearve to get sad. If there is a god I will go to hell like i disearve and she will go to heaven , that way I can pay for what I did, eventoigh I think I am paying everyday. Today is my birthday she wrote me a 3 page text posted pictures with me and I dont disearve any of that , Nothing at all. Should I tell her, should I tell a half truth? Should I take it to the grave with me? Should I leave her and be alone like I disearve? I know you are going to be harsh with me but that is fine I disearve that just try not do be to harsh please I am a man but I am very fragile at this time on my life. Just asking for help here, thank you
@goldwarrior97,
Gheez, you're 25 years old and have a 5 months relationship, relax!
Yes, you cheated on your girlfriend for the most stupid reason and people your age do immature things due to the fact that your frontal lobe isn't fully developed yet around age 25.
No, you don't tell her, you keep that secret to yourself and work it out with yourself. I suggest you consult a therapist and get some counseling along the way to deal with it.
Good luck!
@goldwarrior97,
First of all, next time you make a post, use some paragraph returns (i.e. the Enter key). It just makes it easier to read.
Secondly, this is not going to be the last mistake you'll ever make. Deal with it internally - does she need to know? Maybe, maybe not.
Thirdly, "deserves" is not spelled "desearves" - and "imeddiatily is not spelled that way - you should definitely use spellcheck.... just a head's up.
Fourth - guilt is not your friend. Deal with this, either by telling her or by some other means. Do not go through your life with buckets of guilt on your back. It doesn't serve you well. We are all human; deal with it, forgive yourself and move on.
Fifth - it takes a LOT of time to mature. Get used to it - you have a LONG road ahead.
Christ said it best: Go and sin no more.
@bobsal u1553115,
That's only helpful if you're a believer.
@CalamityJane,
Speaking of believing - what about believing in the marital vows? You have to find a way to communicate about issues whether or not your wife is doing bad behaviors. Vindictive cheating solves nothing and sets your relationship further behind. Both of you need to decide just what your goal is and work towards that.
@Ragman,
Ragman,
the guy is 25 years old and has had this girlfriend for 5 months.....hardly a marital vow.
However, there are some ground rules one needs to discuss with one's partner before they intend to get married - I agree with you! If it's in a biblical sense or something one simply cannot tolerate and/or accept, that is between the couple in question. It needs to be discussed prior to marriage, definitely!!
@goldwarrior97,
I'm betting on, you'll cheat again. And again. And again. Why? That's what cheaters do, is cheat.
I don't believe for one second you're remorseful. I think you're scared you'll be found out as a cheater and a liar. That's not remorse, that's ego.
Not sure what any of this is about:
Quote: I was enraged that my girlfriend posted what I consider to be provocative pictures after I told her like 3, 4 times to not do it,
Enraged?? Seriously?
You do not OWN this person. You do not get to say what she does, what she wears, what she thinks or even what she posts. And I don't think you get that. At all.
You were dating one month, she did something benign and it pissed you off so you did something to hurt her, to control how and what she does to please you. You cheated, told your friend, and in trying to justify your reasoning, was told you're full of it.
What you're doing now is manipulative control measures. You have hidden a part of you, the part she REALLY needs to know about to make an informed and conscience decision to continue to date you. Again, you're still controlling the narrative so she stays in the dark. That's not right, fair or loving in any way.
At 25 there's plenty of time and room to change.
I hope you choose to do so.
@CalamityJane,
Christ said it best, but He was not the only one.
The warden says it to all departing prisoners. Parents in all countries say it to their naughty children, nicht wahr?
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